silvy
New Member
Joined: April 2009
Posts: 9
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Post by silvy on Apr 25, 2009 14:25:35 GMT -5
Hi, I'm a 22 year old female and I've realised I need help fixing my problem. I would love to go to my friends or family but am afraid to do so, I hope you guys can help me because you'll understand me. First I'll explain my story (though it's not very special or anything compared to some of the things I've read). (oh and pardon me for my bad english, it's not my native language)
When I was six years old my parents got divorced. Having two handicapped siblings and a depressed mother I was soon responsible for all the household duties at home. In that period of time I learned to take care of other bot I also learned to neglect myself. Didn't wash or comb my hair, brush my teeth, my own room was always a mess etc.
When I left my home at the age of 15 I went to several psychiatric institutions to deal with my past (but that's another, long and complicated story, not really relevant). People pushed me to clean my mess when I was there but even then I was able to hide some of the things, afraid to admit I didn't know how to cope with tidying my room.
Finally, when I was 18 I didn't need psychologic help anymore and got my own appartment with a good friend. It didn't go well, I never cleaned or tidied anything so he had to do everything. Finally we had some big fights and he went to live alone.
After that, things went quickly downwards. At first it were just the rooms nobody ever got to visit. My bedroom, second bedroom and attic. The mess piled up, the floor was not visible anymore and the only free space was my bed (most of the time). I lost contact with that friend and other people in my hometown (I work far away from home and intend to move so have all my social contacts in another city) so I had no one coming to visit my house anymore. Now, a year later, I can't invite anyone to visit my house. I've taken the batteries out of my doorbell so I can't hear it when anyone rings it and no one sees the mess when I open the door. The mess has piled up and I haven't taken out the garbage for two months after my trashcan got stolen (we have to put the trash in a trashcan here so the garbageman can pick it up). Flies are flying in my house, really disgusting and I feel like a can't get out of this pattern. I know I have to start cleaning and once in a while I start cleaning but for some reason I always give up and if I do get a few rooms clean I don't maintain it so it becomes the same mess in a couple of weeks or months. I don't want that anymore. I realize I'll have to clean my house and learn how to keep cleaning it like everybody else can and that's my big problem. For the outside world I am an always perfect looking, tidy and successful manager. No one knows that I'm afraid to go home, afraid to look at people in the neighborhood because they might know.
That's my story and I hope I can benefit from this forum and even get at the point where I can help other people who have the some problem. Regards, Silvy
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 25, 2009 14:36:44 GMT -5
- Welcome ! Here's a hug for you: -
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Post by iprocrastinate on Apr 25, 2009 14:46:54 GMT -5
Welcome Silvy, Join our "merry and not so merry"gang! We'll cheer and encourage your efforts and push a little if you want us to. Chat and its 15 minute challenges helps me often and I'm ever amazed at how much can be done in 15 minutes. Can you take some of your garbage in your car to a rest area or park where there are dumpsters or trash receptacles. For a small bag, even McDonald's might work. It's like we just have to do it, not plan great schemes or lists, but just do something now. That tends to be energizing for many of us. Welcome and lots of hugs
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silvy
New Member
Joined: April 2009
Posts: 9
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Post by silvy on Apr 25, 2009 15:02:48 GMT -5
Thank you both for your support! I don't have a car but have sent an email after registrating here to the organization who picks up the trash to see if I can get a new trashcan. Will cost me some money but then I can get rid of my garbage.
And started to pick some things off the floor today, I want to continue cleaning my livingroom tomorrow. :-)
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Post by pegasus48 on Apr 25, 2009 15:33:39 GMT -5
Silvy, it's great that you called about the trash can!! Good job!! Getting rid of the garbage will be a wonderful start. We are so glad to have you here. Welcome aboard.
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Post by messymimi on Apr 25, 2009 16:09:31 GMT -5
Welcome, Silvy !
It's good to have you here!
messymimi
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Post by houseworkhater on Apr 25, 2009 18:30:51 GMT -5
Hi Silvy! You are so young, and small changes will add up to a lot!
Good luck and keep posting. Try chat some time, too!
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Post by gettingsomewhere on Apr 26, 2009 9:47:06 GMT -5
congratualtions silvy on joining us and getting a great start on your journey to a better way t live. just keep going. small steps are the best way to move forward. i hope to meet you in chat sometime. best os luck.
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silvy
New Member
Joined: April 2009
Posts: 9
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Post by silvy on Apr 26, 2009 11:39:23 GMT -5
Thank you all so much for your support. :-)
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Post by Arid on Apr 26, 2009 12:36:04 GMT -5
silvy: Don't worry about all the things that you *think* that you "can't" do; just look for some little thing or other that you CAN do--be it throwing away one tiny piece of trash or brushing your teeth. Do this every day (or as nearly every day as possible!), and you WILL succeed.
By the way, your English is WONDERFUL!!! You are way ahead of most people for whom English IS their native language!
Welcome to the board. We are happy that you have joined us!
Arid
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Post by crazycatlady on Apr 26, 2009 12:40:07 GMT -5
Welcome, Silvy. Sounds like you have survived some difficult times. I hope that with our help and encouragement, you will learn new ways of dealing with the messes.
Great work on calling for the new trash can!
And I think that your English is fabulous.
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Post by notsomessyshell on Apr 26, 2009 17:53:06 GMT -5
Welcome! You have been through quite a lot in your short life. Many to you. You can do it! Kudos on taking steps to get a new garbage can. I am impressed! Join chat. Amazing things happen in chat. Rooms get cleaned, ranting and raving to get things out of our systems, and much laughter! It is a wonderful aid.
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Apr 27, 2009 0:29:59 GMT -5
I also have flies all over the house, and a trail of ants on the wall next to my bed. They sometimes get in my bed and I have reached the point where I just live and let live. You are not alone. Welcome to the board.
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Post by def6 on Apr 27, 2009 8:36:24 GMT -5
Hey Silvy,
your story is not unlike many of us here....so you are among friends. So sorry for all the hurts in your life and WELCOME!
May I say get the garbage and trash out of your house right away. Also get those sticky traps and trap the flies( you know the kind that you hang) Buy big bags and start filling them with just debris This will be a big improvement! Then let us know that you have done this! We will cheer you!
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Post by breakingfree on Apr 27, 2009 12:52:04 GMT -5
silvy: ...By the way, your English is WONDERFUL!!! You are way ahead of most people for whom English IS their native language! Welcome to the board. We are happy that you have joined us! Arid I second this! Your English is excellent Welcome and I'm so glad you found this site! BF
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