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Post by disarray on Sept 21, 2009 23:27:00 GMT -5
Oh, and I also wanted to mention that inside of Bill's home I spotted one of those round bamboo chairs with the round white cushion that goes over it. I've seen that same chair in two other hoarder episodes. (Jake's and... I can't remember the other one.) I only notice it every time because I have the EXACT SAME CHAIR!! It's in my bedroom. Why is it in all these hoarders' homes? It makes me wonder about myself.  |
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Post by joyinvirginia on Sept 21, 2009 23:30:02 GMT -5
I watched tonight's episode also, and this is definitely one where I would have liked an entire hour, to find out more about Patty and her family. It is very similar to what we saw with Terrylyn the week before. It seemed Patty was not ready to let go of anything, and she simply had too much stuff for the size of the house. I think the blurb at the end said she ended up with over 1,400 boxes of clutter that she could not part with. I would really like to know more about what happened when the crew left, and if Patty and her husband were able to keep the home clean and mostly clutter free for even a little while.
It is very clear that these two families were at a crisis point when they accepted the help and allowed the film crew to come in. Any crisis has the potential to make things better or worse, and I would imagine, despite their intellectual understanding that things had to change, that both Bill and Patty were not REALLY ready for the change to actually happen.
Bill was a more realistic picture. How many hours it took him to go thru just one box. I really liked how Dr. Tobin walked with him thru the building supply store and asked how he was feeling, what he saw. How he could not deal with an intensive marathon purging session, and just left for a while. At the end the blurb said that Lorelei had a heart attack 9 weeks after filming, and since then Bill has been working willingly with a professional organizer and making good progress.
I really really REALLY like this show! It is definitely showing that there is much, much more to solving the problem than just someone going in to clean up FOR the family or the person. I would really like to see a follow-up for people involved in 6 months or a year.
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Post by success19 on Sept 21, 2009 23:52:23 GMT -5
I am wondering if the husband called the authorities himself? Then the kids were placed with grandparents - his parents? I would think there was a large amount of debt - they showed her shopping (that kind of ticked me off to see them showing her feeding her addiction). Maybe it was a way to get out of the marriage on the husbands part? All that stuff got hauled away into storage units too - just makes me wonder. Perhaps Patty began to hoard again after the show - espeicially since she didn't do the work - and from what I am learning the hoarder must do the work themselves.
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Post by brenda on Sept 22, 2009 1:14:39 GMT -5
I found myself very angry watching the show tonight. Even in the face of losing their families they can't let go. My mother lost my sisters and I in large part to her hoarding and squalor and it really impacted our lives for the worse.
In my mind it does not matter if it is three days or three months if they are not willing to let go of the hoard.
Brenda
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Post by shopgirl on Sept 22, 2009 3:32:38 GMT -5
Yeah, there was something fishy about that lady not getting her kids back, even though the house looked great at the end. Maybe the hubs used the whole process to dump her and win custody of the kids. And with the house cleared out, it could be sold. It looked "model-home ready," not a trace of anything personal left, all the photos removed from the wall and packed away, the kitchen counter didn't even have a toaster.
Those 1,400 boxes are gonna cost a lot to store somewhere, eh? Those were big boxes, looked at least 2x2x3, or 12 cubic feet apiece. 1400 times 12 = 16,800 cubic feet of stuff. Best to abandon those boxes at the U-Store.
The Hoarders show makes me sad.
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Post by MiSC on Sept 22, 2009 5:51:07 GMT -5
I can't remember who said this, but here's the quote: Here's what I know: Patty continued to bring things into the house, and filled two more storage sheds, bringing the total to four. Her husband moved out and filed for divorce 4 months after the crew left in order to get the kids back. I am wondering if the husband called the authorities himself? Then the kids were placed with grandparents - his parents? I would think there was a large amount of debt - they showed her shopping (that kind of ticked me off to see them showing her feeding her addiction). Maybe it was a way to get out of the marriage on the husbands part? All that stuff got hauled away into storage units too - just makes me wonder. Perhaps Patty began to hoard again after the show - espeicially since she didn't do the work - and from what I am learning the hoarder must do the work themselves. The children were placed with her grandparents, not his. When she was ordered to leave the house, she went to live with them. The girl child stayed there, and the boy moved out to live with his father. The little girl won't talk to the father anymore. |
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Post by Chris on Sept 22, 2009 10:14:50 GMT -5
I watched the show even though I wasn't sure about seeing another one after last weeks'.
I would just like to see more of the process of helping the people (and viewers) with hoarding problems. Really helping them, not just sensationalizing it for TV. That sure would take more time and followup than what we are seeing. This is the same way I feel if I happen to see some of my other shows that basically I quit watching in recent years because they seemed to turn from genuine helping to drama/reality for TV -- even though I respect the work that the particular people do in helping (providing counseling and material help) -- the overall motive of the shows seems to be ratings and seems to exploit people. Especially if they are not ready to change. Or at least in the preparation/action stage?
Probably I will still watch because if nothing else it really really makes me see where I/we are going with our hoarding if we don't continue to take the effort to change NOW and work on it before any type of crisis or move.
Maybe future shows will do better at working with the people and they might start doing just one family/person per 1 hour show - that would be good. Probably we are seeing just a tiny fraction of the total -- but then I wish it would be more concentrated on some of the specific sorting and help with the decision making and stuff. Not sure how to word it. And I do think it's a good show I just wish they had longer with each person and could show more helpful segments for those of us following along at home working on our own issues. Even if they did a taped mini segment of one of the organizers and/or therapists -- just one tip a week on "try this at home" -- they have to know that there are many of us struggling with varying degrees of this condition -- and we are watching. It's not just spectators who don't also have these issues.
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Sept 22, 2009 10:59:11 GMT -5
Makes me sad, too. I keep reminding myself that desqualoring is a process, not an endpoint.
I'm not at all surprised they didn't get their kids back, if they're unwilling to part with 1400 boxes. While I don't have kids, I would part with even the most sentimental items to get my pets back. Parents are supposed to put their family ahead of their own needs, and the 1400 boxes prove that she's not ready to do that. My storage locker was costing me $145/mo--twice what I paid for my 1st apartment.
She's not ready, and her kids needed their parents NOW, not 1400 boxes from now.
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Post by sleepymom on Sept 22, 2009 11:24:07 GMT -5
What really irritated me was the husband. Why was it all on Patty? His arms didn`t look broken  Obviously she has a problem getting rid of stuff, but if he would have helped her deal with it as it came into the house, taken out the trash, or done a little cleaning (the refrigerator) once in awhile, things would never have got to that level. It did make me so sad that she couldn`t let go of the majority of the stuff even with the threat of not getting the kids back. I hope she`s getting help. |
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Post by Chris on Sept 22, 2009 11:42:34 GMT -5
What really irritated me was the husband. Why was it all on Patty? His arms didn`t look broken I agree. I also felt that way with Bill & Lorelei. I understand that the hoarder won't let their things be thrown out but the stairs ----- %$#@*&^ that's something I would have just cleared that stuff myself when he wasn't looking - and if he was upset -- tough. She could have broken her neck or sustained a head injury. There has to be some major "enabling" going on. I think counseling is very important for the family members too not just the primary hoarder. It scared me when I saw Patty's stove because of the fire hazard part. I kept thinking of the co-dependency thing the whole way thru and about how that relates here in my own issues between me and my husband. |
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wendy
Member
And Peter and The Lost Boys built Wendy a house...
Posts: 342
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Post by wendy on Sept 22, 2009 13:14:28 GMT -5
MiSC, Thank you for the info about what happened after the show, because the statement at the end was TOTALLY inadequate, and really left me the viewer hanging, and wondering what in the world caused them not to get the kids back.
Both of these cases were SOOOOO sad to me. So much was at stake for both Patty and Bill, and they were in such extreme denial that I thought it bordered on being delusional. As for Lorelei, it seemed pretty clear that if she had cleaned up those stairs (even after she broke her arm!) there would have been hell to pay. I'll bet he would have just put it all back, given the conversation he had with Dr. Tolin about the items on the stairs! As for Patty's husband, yes clearly he could have done more to at least clean the kitchen. But I don't think there's anything he could have done to keep her from bringing more and more stuff home--- it seemed that her addiction to shopping was at least as bad as the hoarding. I wonder how she is coping now that she has to live in her parents' house.
Wendy
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Post by success19 on Sept 22, 2009 14:57:50 GMT -5
I wonder thought if the husband was working two jobs or was Patty also working? that was a huge house and yard - where did the money come from for all that stuff? Again we don't know all the facts. But obviously hoarding can contribute to marriages breaking up. Maybe the husband did clean - and she put stuff back. Maybe they will come on to this site and let us know more.
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Post by breakingfree on Sept 22, 2009 15:09:44 GMT -5
There was a member of Children of Hoarders named Acerim--he was to be on the show and this sounds like his story. From what he posted, he did NOT want to get divorced and wanted to help his wife and keep his family together. He was very torn up by the events and the last I heard, he was attempting to get his children back but had been unsuccessful.
BF
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Post by shopgirl on Sept 22, 2009 15:16:07 GMT -5
The hubs was a total enabler. He could have cut off access to the family's credit to help with Patty's shopping addiction. Even after the kids were removed, there she was at Target, charging up more purchases. The two of them needed to work out a household spending budget years ago.
If they bought their house when they married in 1987, it provided many home equity lines of credit over the boom years of residential real estate. Continual refinancing at "market" value, easy credit. This sent a lot of people into spending overdrive, they thought real estate would never go down, and their houses would continue to provide income in perpetuity. The house became an ATM machine! This is when you saw everyone buying brand new SUVs. Now real estate values have collapsed, Patty and hubs are underwater with what they owe on the house, they have 1400 boxes of stuff in storage, and the family is broken. I'd bet that the house is in foreclosure now.
I think this scene is being played out in many families in this country.
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Post by procrastinator on Sept 22, 2009 15:25:11 GMT -5
Makes me sad, too. I keep reminding myself that desqualoring is a process, not an endpoint. I'm not at all surprised they didn't get their kids back, if they're unwilling to part with 1400 boxes. While I don't have kids, I would part with even the most sentimental items to get my pets back. Parents are supposed to put their family ahead of their own needs, and the 1400 boxes prove that she's not ready to do that. My storage locker was costing me $145/mo--twice what I paid for my 1st apartment. I think the moment where she was trying to hold onto a plastic cup rather than seeing the big picture of getting her children back said it all. |
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