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Post by puppybox on Nov 5, 2009 19:45:00 GMT -5
jennmommi- I think everything you wrote in your last post is really right.
If you can make changes in terms of more structure, limiting toys and making grandparents toys live at grandparents house, make them, but if you can't, know that is ok to not have things be perfect. some kids are a lot more destructive than others. its not the worst thing in the world, at least they are not becoming hoarders at a young age, thats for sure! seriosuly, you may jsut have to endure a crazy destructive stage. Sometimes you are making progess inside their little brains, but it doesn't show til late, too. In any case I'm sure they will learn at school to value silly things like baseball cards or whatever soon enough. I''d snd you some strength to endure, if I could.
from,
Person who learned realyl quickly that she did not make a good kindergarten teacher.
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Post by Arid on Nov 5, 2009 20:36:09 GMT -5
jennmommi: Perhaps, you could suggest to the grandparents, et. al., that they give the sorts of gifts that don't make clutter. They could take each child, one at a time, for a special meal out somewhere, whether it be at a MacDonald's, a pizza place, or an upscale restaurant. They could take the child to a special play place such as a nice park with lots of play equipment, a Discovery Zone, or a miniature golf course--just to name a few examples.
Also, some grandparents like to invest in things like savings bonds for their grandchildren, while others may start and/or contribute to a college fund, while giving the child just one small gift to open.
They also could contribute to a fund for saving up for a big vacation trip somewhere. Some families like to save up for a trip to Disney World, to the Grand Canyon, Mt. Rushmore, or Niagara Falls. It's a big country; there is no limit to what you might choose, and where you might go!
Oh--just thought of another one!! Some kids would LOVE to go to Space Camp! It's pretty pricy, though; so, it would be a great thing for grandparents, aunts, uncles, godparents, etc. to help to fund. Any child old enough to go to Space Camp is old enough to understand and to appreciate that it is a very expensive trip, and it is through the thoughtfulness of these other people that he or she is able to go.
Arid
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Nov 6, 2009 11:41:28 GMT -5
Something else I've learned from my own experience--I'm not so hard on my things now that I'm mostly decluttered. I have places to put fragile items, I don't make piles as often, and I have enough elbow room to perform my routine tasks without knocking stuff over or breaking it.
Perhaps some sort of rotation system for toys--one box a week? Might give your family some more elbow room, and add to the toys' perceived value. PLUS, at least once a week, all the toys would retun to their box, to make room for next week's.
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Post by starsonthars on Nov 8, 2009 14:50:53 GMT -5
Hi Jenmommi-  It does sound like you are at your wits end....sometimes this is the best place to start because that allows and enhances your ability to be ruthless. I don't choose that word lightly in this context. When I realize areas of my home have become unmanageable I am able to "see" the clutter as "stuff that impedes my progress to..< fill in the blank>" That is sometimes my progress in being able to relax in my own home, find what I need when I need it or sometimes...my progression to a point where I am not looking at this area and what to cry and run away. I really think you are on to something when you mention the children may have so much stuff that none of their stuff is very valuable to them. Really, why would it be, when something is broken they have so much more that isn't they can play with that...break it and then reach for another toy. The idea that follows has worked for a dear friend of mine that had 4 destructive boys...now they are in the process of learning to take care of what they have and it has been working very, very well for over a year now. Beth sacked up every broken toy and cheapie toy and threw sacks and sacks of them away. She went through the "nice toys", whittled that stack down and donated most of the best to Goodwill. Then she let each boy choose 4 toys (one of the boys tired to keep as much as possible by grouping stuff together and calling it one toy...Beth was Ruthless!!...A toy soldier was 1 toy a battalion of soldiers was not.  ) Then she allowed them to play with only one toy at a time; all the others were put up in an area that only she and her husband were allowed to access. (otherwise known as The Adult Cabinet). The children were allowed only 1 toy to play with each day. If they destroyed or lost it then BooHoo, you now have only 3 toys to choose from. (books and art supplies were not part of the toy limitation). She, her husband and I (I sit with the boys often) stayed strong and did this for a month (we didn't tell the children how long we planned to do this because we really had no idea how long it would take for them to get it). During that time it was one of the boys birthday...Beth and husband sat down with both sets of grandparents separately and explained their plan, explained they weren't asking for permission to implement the plan, they were asking for support and acknowledged how difficult it might be for the grandparents. Beth printed out a list of "Doing" things and gave all 4 of them a copy of suggestions and asked that they add their own also so they were all on the same page..literally. It is so great that the boys favorite things are the "Doing" activities now, especially stories about their grandparents childhoods (oh...and helping bake cookies). This may sound really cheesy to some, but I think the boys are going to have much better memories of their grandparents "Doing" list than any of the toys they have gotten as gifts. This was really a mercenary tactic for my friend and there was great wailing and gnashing of little teeth, but Beth really focused on wanting her sons to grow up to be men that could take care of their own homes, not break something and run out to buy a replacement and have a mental frame work around maintaining and preserving instead of destruction and replacing. YMMV and my best to you.  |
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Post by sporadic on Nov 8, 2009 15:47:50 GMT -5
Here is a PO's blog that gives FANTASTIC organizing tips: www.littlevirgo.com/blog/Do a Google search for Professional Organizers. Many of them have tips, helpful hints and blogs that you will find useful. |
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Post by Bizzy on Nov 8, 2009 16:27:32 GMT -5
Hi- I live in a mible that is a TEENY double wide- you would think i would have lots of storage compared to a single wide- but my singlewide had lots more storage built into it and was built better. I don't have linen closets- a coat closet- and the rooms are dinky- and the walls thin- I know what you are talking about.
The kids? Ritalin?
Cant help you there but if you are tossing and they dont seem to care- then toss- and don't buy anything else. My daughter was DD and ADHD and I seemed to alwasy be in her room trying to organize her room- I did it like a montessori school and it would be so nice and she could turn it into tossed salad in an hour flat. She is now 28- living in her own place and a hoarder-.
One suggestion I have for you is to go to MObilehomerepair.com. It is a great resource- people working on their mobiles doing all sorts of things and moderated by a few mobile home repair gusy- - a wonderful man named MArk started it years ago and I have found it helpful in so many ways- and there are certain things you have to do way different in mobiles than in stick built homes. Just go there and do a search on storage or shelveing etc. I bought some wall anchors specially made for panel walls that are fantastic and hold a lot of weight.
Mark will even find old parts for your window for you if you can't find them.
People are very creative there and deal with everything from soup to nuts.
As for the plastic dresser like things- I have never found them helpful- the drawers seem to alwasy stick.
But GOOD rubbermade containers seem to work good- if kids aren't jumping on them and I get them cheap at BIG lots.. I also made shelves inside the closets with 1" and 1" nails to the sides and then a boardl set across it. - and then hung the clothing rod below that. And then another shelf near the bottom of the closet . When you are only dealing with 8 foot ceilings and sometimes less int the closets- it is a challenge. If it was just us adults- it would be one thing- but with kids- sheesh.
I also used the big net thing for the stuffed animals - it fell out everytime til I used the panels wall anchors - every two feet and screws into a couple of stud- - . I agreed- go vertical - where ever you can- get rid of their stuff- Utiliz you carport if you can- I have several metal office like cupboards I picked up free from craiglist. We dont' have a lot of room and that is all there is to it. I really feel for you.
Now that my daughter has moved out- you would think I would have plenty of room but her room is now the storage room- and I haven't even touched it. Sigh. Also I sort of gave up.
I know from my past - that even if I had a garage - instead of an 8x8 shed- that I would just fill it up!
I hope you have more counter space and kitchen cupboards than I have. Grrr. I thought this doublewide would be so much better- but it brought problems of its own. Including a diagnogal wall between the kitchen and living room that makes it almost impossible to have a seating arrangement that works. My little singewide gave me more options.
I wish I would have stayed in my little singlewide and just built on an addition. I didn't have no stinkin rats on the other side of the park- no canal- a better built place- and I had a bigger yard with a cyclone fence. But that is a whole other can of worms. Grass is alwasys greener...... Or is it?
No ideas here for you- except that you do go to mobilehomerepair.com- lots of warm nifty folks there dealing with the same things you are- and can stop you from doing something that doesn't work-- or causes damage-- plus they can tell you how to fix your jalousey windows or winterize or replace your skirting on a budget.
Ok-
Hey = about living in tiny spaces- I love Sue Grafton Novels and she alwasy talks about how she loves living in small spaces- grew up in a teeny trailer with her aunt and now lives in a garage conversion - She makes it seem so cosy and nice. But she don't have a lot of crap. She wears jeans, turtlenecks and boots, eats softboiled eggs sandwiches and only uses 3x5 cards to keep track of her cases. I bet she knows where her sharpie pen is at all times. She has one black dress that is wrinkle proof that she carries around in plastic bag in her car -= she can shake out and wear if she has to dress up and carries a big purse- which I bet doesn't have a lot of crap in it.
But I really like reading about her minimalist way of living. She also cuts her own hair with cuticle scissors and alwasys seems to look ok. The only thing she does that is disclipined is run.
Anyhow. Anyone want a good bunch of reading- Try her out. SHe is clever and funny and cheap at used book stores.
Boy did I go off into the raspberry bushes on this one.
You have your hands full.
I know we are supposed to stay away from neighborhood cleanup=- but you may find some things there you could use- I am broke too and need some shelving- metal and wooden- but just make sure you can really use it - or don't bring it home- and if you get it home and it don't work-- get RID of it..
Best- Bizzy
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jennmommi
New Member
Joined: September 2009
Posts: 91
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Post by jennmommi on Nov 9, 2009 17:01:01 GMT -5
I found what I need, unfortunately I can't afford it. Figures. Anyway I was wondering if I might be able to build it as DH and I are pretty handy. The kids might still be able to break it (specifically the plastic tubs since they have destroyed those things before) but I think DH and I can make it sturdier than buying a prefab one. What do you think? clutterfreekids.com/pro1358446.htmlIt won't solve the stuffed animal problem, but I am letting them each pick a few 3-4) of the medium/large ones, and the rest are going away. The small ones will fit in the toy box or bins. |
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Nov 10, 2009 11:28:46 GMT -5
Nice storage unit!
If I were going to have one made, I would make it taller, add doors that lock, and weight the bottom to make it less likely to tip over. Make sure that the binsyou use are large enough, but not too large for your kids to use.
Bonus points for dutch doors, so you could open the top or bottom separately.
We wouldn't be able to build it, but you probably know several people who could. My "handy guy" is even using scrap wood from another project to build something for us, to reduce the cost.
Your kids could help you paint/stain it. Then, a couple of coats of polyurethane, to make it easy to clean.
I have also found great storage at places that sell used office furniture.
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Post by midlife on Nov 13, 2009 20:51:19 GMT -5
Hi Jenn -- Has your child development curriculum covered sensory integration dysfunction? I know it's a big part of my three year-old's destructiveness. He really craves intense physical sensations, especially when he's tired. He's not *trying* to break stuff, he's just trying to pull on something as hard as he can to feel the strain in his arms, or jump on something as hard as he can to feel the shock in his legs, etc. Unfortunately, a lot of breakage results!
Letting him play outside as much as possible really helps -- he runs around with a big stick just whacking the hell out of stuff! I'm looking for some indoor toys that will help out with that when the weather's bad. Also wrestling with Dad works pretty well to give him those deep muscle sensations he's looking for.
What's funny is I first learned about kids with sensory issues because of my daughter, who was completely the opposite: she was so hypersensitive to various sensations that she had a screaming panic attack every time water touched her head, and she didn't walk until she was 20 months old because she was so terrified of feeling off-balance. I was not expecting a second kid who does any crazy thing he can think of to feel more, more, MORE!
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