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Post by Looking_Forward on Jan 14, 2010 11:57:16 GMT -5
I've poked around a bit to try to figure out why it's blocked and haven't.
I understand it wouldn't be cool to call someone else l.a.z.y (is it filtered that way too?) and at times calling yourself l.a.z.y would be demeaning and self-destructive but there are other words that fit both categories.
If I know something is likely to offend someone I don't do/say whatever it is, this extends to all sorts of things that fit under "name calling" I want to me thought of as thoughtful and kind and try to bring that into my online relationships as well so it's not like I'm frustrated that I can't use the word.
Sometimes though, it's just honest.
I haven't cleaned much this week because I'm wimpy and had some dental work that I'm going back today to be adjusted. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed to the point of inaction, sometimes I've had a seizure and feel "off" for the rest of the day. Sometimes I'm busy or I mis-prioritize and am doing other things.
Sometimes, I'm l.a.z.y. It's not even most of why I struggle with housework, but it is a part of it. I also have no problem after a long busy stretch of having a l.a.z.y day. They can be great for one's mental health.
So, why is it so taboo here? Is there a back story I'm unaware of? That said, I'm off to play the dice game -- or at least get my list started for the dice game.
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Post by Script on Jan 14, 2010 13:30:52 GMT -5
Many of us here at SooS (and our predecessor, Squalor Survivors) have problems with the executive functioning of our brains. This is the part that directs decision-making, choosing, starting, finishing. As in 'deciding to clean the toilet' and 'choosing to do the laundry' and 'just starting something/anything'.
Some people are paralyzed with the enormity of home-care because they problems SEQUENCING: how to do A which then permits B and ultimately C. [example: 'should I dust before I vacuum or vice versa?]
Also those with any kind of concentration issues can have HUGE problems knowing how/where to start and how to keep going. Attention-deficit disorders and OCD issues can really paralyze people in their struggles to keep house.
Some people here have not yet learned how to MANAGE a disability; or how to MANAGE a change in family circumstances.
Some people here may very well be l@zy slobbish pigs; who can tell? It seemed to the mods that it was better to give the benefit of the doubt to everyone. Banning a word like l@ay also helps to TEACH each of us that calling ourselves pejorative names is not helpful in the long run.
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Post by Looking_Forward on Jan 14, 2010 13:45:59 GMT -5
Are there any other banned words?
I get all of what you are saying both from a clinical standpoint and a "been there, done that, want to see my t-shirt" standpoint.
It seems to boil down to "don't judge others you haven't been in there shoes" Which I agree completely with, I just don't understand the banning of one word when it's the behavior that could be problematic.
I do come from an online background where there were either a long list of banned things to say with a lot of heavy handed moderation or a few simple guidelines and we self moderated things very well. Using offensive terms or ridiculing someone for something gets one called to the mat very quickly.
Thanks for taking the time to explain, it is very appreciated.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jan 14, 2010 14:29:06 GMT -5
- You'll note that the word L-A-Z-Y was starred out. The word layzee is bleeped here because ... If a person is inactive ... there may be many underlying reasons why the person is inactive. - fear
- worry
- fatigue
- poor self-esteem
- physical illness
- depression
- "Demand Resistance" which is explained at this link:
takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/16221
- lack of skills for doing the task
- overwhelmedness
- lack of confidence
- etc.
All of those are possible underlying reasons why a person is inactive. The inactivity might be labeled as L@ziness -- but it really helps to know what underlies that.
By accepting the label of "layzee", we enchain ourselves to unfixable hopelessness.
But by looking more deeply at the underlying causes of our inactivity, we can empower ourselves to work on changing those causes, and thus empower ourselves to grow.The word L-a-z-y is sometimes used as an "insult" to imply that a person is worthless or uncaring. But we don't want to insult ourselves or others in that manner. In theory, you CAN use the word if you take the time to use an alternative spelling. This allows freedom of speech but ... you have to STOP and THINK if the word is really appropriate. That way you give yourself time to look at underlying conditions.
In the SOS "Community Information" section takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=communityif you click on "Community Purpose and Policies", you will see this statement by the moderators/administrators: Quote from Admin:- |
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Post by Looking_Forward on Jan 14, 2010 15:21:21 GMT -5
I'll be quiet after this post because I was just in a long discussion about parenting that got a little heated and has me a bit defensive and it's going to closely mirror this topic, I can tell already.
The problem is the behavior, being judgmental, insulting, dismissive, etc. I agree with the problem (not that I've seen the problem, but if it were to happen I'd agree with it)
What I don't agree with that it's all linked to the word. I could be judgmental and insulting with a wide variety of words.
I'm aware of all the negative connotations of ***, but to me it immediately brings to mind images of my grandparents and I sitting around a card table playing canasta and eating popcorn when there were other things that could have been done (except dishes, dishes were always done before anyone left the kitchen after a meal) or when my Dad and brothers would be gone for 2 weeks every summer and Mom and I did pretty much nothing but just sit and hang out.
A word to me is just a word, it only has the power I give it.
The behavior and attitudes that sometimes accompany the word I am against.
That's just my take on it, I'm grateful for the site and am in general a rule follower (I just like to know the why -- hence the thread). I don't want to do any pot stirring or sound like I'm questioning the rules and I can see how this thread could be taken that way. I'm questioning why so I can understand not because I think it should be changed.
I'm back from the dentist, have lunch in me and am ready to go and be motivated for a little while, off to the dice game.
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Post by Looking_Forward on Jan 14, 2010 15:23:01 GMT -5
oh, and it didn't filter it? I've never tested it, just saw multiple references to it. Maybe the filter is broken after the issue the other day?
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jan 14, 2010 16:22:41 GMT -5
-
The moderators/admins set it up to bleep
both Layzee and Lazyness.
I am guessing that the moderators would have needed to manually censor EVERY form of the word as combined with any possible punctuation marks.
Currently it seems to be bleeped
when followed by a period or exclamation mark,
but not when followed by a comma or inside quotation marks or parentheses.
testing L-A-Z-Y
***.
***!
***,
"***"
(***)
testing L-A-Z-I-N-E-S-S
***.
***!
***,
"***"
(***)
I don't know if I would use the word "taboo".
The moderators have not bothered to perfectionistically ban every possible instance.
I think it's more that the usage is discouraged.
-
Update year 2013 -- well in the past you could use it with a comma, but apparently the upgraded software now censors all versions.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jan 14, 2010 16:37:31 GMT -5
-
I do understand what you mean about the OTHER meaning of the word ...
the verb ...
meaning to intentionally "laze around" in HEALTHY relaxation.
(Apparently LAZE is not bleeped).
Yes, I would agree that that sense of the word ... to take a healthy relaxation time ... is a GOOD thing.
Laze around meaning ....
To kick back. To de-stress. To relax. To get rest/relaxation. To enjoy the sunshine. To smell the flowers. To breathe. To have some "down time".
All that is good and healthy.
So if you are having a "*** day" with the intent of consciously "HEALTHFUL lazing around" ... that is not meant to be bleeped ...
... but there isn't any way of separating out
the positive connotation of
a lazing ... "healthy healing relaxing day"
from the negative disparaging connotation
of layzee ... being "negligently slothful".
I think all of this is meant to be a GUIDELINE and not a RULE. Something to make us THINK.
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Post by rickie on Jan 14, 2010 17:04:20 GMT -5
IMO it's too much importance being placed on a word, and despite the explanations I still don't grasp what is being accomplished by banning this particular word. However, I read a lot of discussion forums and they all have some rule or another that doesn't make sense to me.
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Post by Looking_Forward on Jan 14, 2010 17:17:18 GMT -5
Ahhh, I had a comma after it.
I'm fine with the thinking about others feelings but again that's not connected to any one word, just how I like to go about my day in general.
Rickie, I posted somewhere with a bunch of gals who were against txt speak and mass amounts of abbreviations and dropped letters and ah where there should be an er.
lots of text language was filtered for a day to say "I don't care to type in complete words and sentences" Of course that day there was a large influx of new posters to our relatively small group that didn't understand the history behind it and got offended. I felt bad that it had hurt others but before that spent a lot of time laughing at it.
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Post by Celeste on Jan 14, 2010 19:54:54 GMT -5
IMO it's too much importance being placed on a word, and despite the explanations I still don't grasp what is being accomplished by banning this particular word.
The banning of the word "lazy" is to make you think about the connotations of the word and not to use a description that is perceived as derogatory and dismissive. ("lazy" is viewed as a character flaw.) The word you choose to replace "lazy" is revealing in many cases, and may help you find a way to take action against it. Action against squalor is what this website is about.
You'll notice the ban is simple to get around and no one is rushing around deleting all misspellings and software glitches that allow the word to come through. No one has touched Lion's post exploring how to cheat the system. (In fact, here it is in a nutshell: Misspellings will post. Some forms will post. If you insert spaces, punctuation, or a formatting tag into the word, it will post.)
The mods leave them alone. Why? It is because if you really WANT to use the word, you can. The mods just want you to think about it.
One caveat: Don't use the word to describe others here. The strong negative connotation is considered provocative and many of us here see red when the word appears to describe someone. That particular usage is likely to get your thread locked.
There. Go forth and be "lazy" if you like!  |
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Post by yearning4order on Jan 14, 2010 20:53:51 GMT -5
Actually, I'm glad the word was banned. I appreciated that not only would you not call me *** , but I wasn't allowed to do it either. I'd spent way too much time already berating myself for why the house was in a state of chaos to the point where I wouldn't allow people to come in, my daughter couldn't have friends over, I would rather live with a broken toilet or dishwasher than have a repair person come in the house, and I lived in fear of my landlord wanting to pop in to talk to me. Everyone was barred at the porch essentially, including my own mother. I love it that *** is a taboo word. Love it love it love it! I think the other thing to consider when we are new here is to also be cautious about the "Why do you do it this way and not that way?" I know when I arrived here, there were two specific people I sort of "went after" regarding this and I've had to since rethink my actions since over time it became more apparent that my original conception of things was not fully formed or was down right wrong. This isn't to suggest anyone is being combative--*I* was combative.  I'm not terribly good at this stuff sometimes. So just sharing my ungraceful experience. The other thing I am still learning is that the folks here (more so than any other online forum I've participated in) cover a very wide range of struggles and experiences. I'm not a pure hoarder, so I'm still having to be really careful how I talk about getting rid of things because to me perhaps it's not as painful to get rid of something and for the more pure hoarders I simply haven't had to work through what they have worked through. I still mess up in regards to this "varying degrees" and "different kinds" nature of our community here on a regular basis. |
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Post by Looking_Forward on Jan 14, 2010 20:59:50 GMT -5
I've been combative before too, after all wasn't my first online home the only one doing it right? You know, because there is always only one right way?
I'm better when I know the why, especially if there is a significant story behind it.
So, I just want to say again I'm ok with the follow the rules, just was looking for the why and giving my little 2 cents that people probably don't care about along the way.
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Post by yearning4order on Jan 14, 2010 22:07:57 GMT -5
I've been combative before too, after all wasn't my first online home the only one doing it right? You know, because there is always only one right way? I'm better when I know the why, especially if there is a significant story behind it. So, I just want to say again I'm ok with the follow the rules, just was looking for the why and giving my little 2 cents that people probably don't care about along the way. Hi Looking, I mean no offense just so you know. I experienced you as questioning, was talking about how I presented as combative. Wanted to add that lots of us like to know why too, and we do care about your 2 cents.  |
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Post by creativechaos on Jan 15, 2010 3:08:45 GMT -5
i personally like the word 'layzee' and use it at times about myself, affectionately. lazing is healthy relaxation and i do it a lot, but it becomes procrastination when i use it to avoid something that needs doing. i read the l*zy man's guide to enlightenment, all about the positive aspects of this word and how we 'try' too hard rather than allow things. i loved that. i don't always need to know why, but understand how important this may be to some people who are more literal and would like things explained. i am glad the thread was started to clear up any misperceptions. this is the most flexible board i know, but there are guidelines for running a board and the mods get to decide the guidelines in the best interests of us all, and ours do a tremendous job, considering there are a whole lot of us. as lioness said, there is information about the use of this word on the purposes and policies for using this site, explaining why the word is blocked. see you one the boards, forward!  glad you are here. cc (never knew that 'layzee' was beeped! guess i don't ever have my speakers on except in chat.) |
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