I need some help, my fellow sisters of squalor

[Ms.Choc-o-lot]

My youngest (10) is gone all week for church camp - I have decided to tackle what is supposed to be 'his' room. It's along story - but a LOT of my stuff is in there - craft/clothes/furniture.

I've had three surgeries in the last 18 months - so cleaning it hasn't been a priority - he is like his momma - and so needless to say - it is a mess. Level 2 squalor - if you don't count the mouse-droppings I just come across

There is an old dresser and a computer table in the room that I would like to get out of there, as well as a semi-broken recliner. I can't do it myself - and my DH is resistant to change of any kind - even the kind that means a happier home

Older ds can help - but only if I get it clean enough to actually manipulate the furniture. I've been working for the last 1.5 hours - and I do believe I have made a BIGGER mess than before I started

Is that possible?
I'm purging, and sorting - so where i actually had a semi-clean floor space at least in the middle of the room - I now have piles of 'stuff' semi organized by category or at least what room they go in.

I have the pile of CLEAN clothes hung up - and all the dirty clothes in a HUGE rolling basket.

I'm embarrassed, humiliated and more than anything over-whelmed.

This is one of two bad rooms - the others are still level 2, but not nearly as close to level three as is this one.

sigh

[WestsideStory]

I understand only too well what it's like to be on a cleaning and decluttering spree and then finding yourself deep in clutter and chaos. It's really hard not to feel depressed ... The only advice I can give is that this, too, will pass. In the long run it's much better to take the time to sort things out like you're doing than just stuff them in a box and put them out of sight and out of mind. Good luck! Glad your son will be able to give you a hand with the furniture.

WestsideStory

[messymimi]

This is not unusual, and you are not alone in having this happen.

My first suggestion would be a deep breath, a 15 minute break, and a cup of tea (or something).

Second, set the timer for another 15 minutes, and deal with only what you have already sorted. Do not continue to sort until you deal with what is already sorted, and break it down into 15 to 30 minute work sessions, with breaks between.

It often seems like we are making a worse mess, but by taking breaks, sorting a pile or two, then deal with those items, then sort more, it gets better.

HTH

messymimi

[ramatama]

Jul 15, 2008 15:38:38 GMT -5 messymimi said:

It often seems like we are making a worse mess, but by taking breaks, sorting a pile or two, then deal with those items, then sort more, it gets better.

Indeed it is. What helps me is to put all the things that are one category in one pile. Once everything is sorted, i know how much space i need and according to that, where it will go.

[merrymaid]

Hi Ms. Choc-o-lot,

As others have said, taking lots of breaks and working in small chunks, works best. I've been putting off working in my final two rooms.... They're so bad, that it's hard to know where to start.
My nephew is coming to collect two desks and anything else I can part with on Friday, so I have to get busy. I'll work with you on listzilla tomorrow if you want a buddy.

Regarding dh, I've made the decision to just do it.... my dh also didn't want to get rid of things. Thought we would need them later, but as the house has slowly started to become less cluttered (I've been purging,) with too much stuff, he's been letting things go. I think he sees that it's okay to not save everything.

You can do it! Just don't give up and do a little each day. And don't feel guilty about getting rid of some of ds's stuff... I was brutal with dd's stuff (she's 9,) and hasn't missed a thing!

[Ms.Choc-o-lot]

So, do I just start putting away the piles NOW, before I totally sort through the entire room?
And then next time I start - just begin with new piles?

That makes sense - although I was just attacking it in terms of sorting it ALL before putting away anything - that is overwhelming to me.

I KNOW I am making progress - I have almost three trash bags to show for it!! The dust is unbelievable and totally icking me out. I haven't attacked my dust bunnies in forever, sad to say.

Thanks for your help - I've been doing the breaks - only because I absolutely COULD NOT handle being in there for more than about 15 minues at a time - before I started freaking out in my mind. The breaks help me because when I do go back, I tend to attack the first thing that stands out at me as something I can handle at that moment - if I stay too long, it all screams to be handled at that.very.moment, ya know.

Thanks again! I have until Friday afternoon to do this - I can and WILL succeed!

[stressedbythemess]

Ms Choc-o-lot - you certainly CAN make things LOOK worse than they did before you started even with progress! I've done this, and it seems to just be a necessity of going through things.

I would work on the piles you have already (just me), and then focus on the items in the way of the furniture, ignoring for the moment what ISN"T in the way of getting it out.

[Carrie]

The same thing has happened to me with my bedroom! I threw away a lot of stuff, but pulling things out to see what's what has made a huge mess!

I think tackling it in small bites is the best advice. When you feel overwhelmed and confused, it's sometimes the only way you can deal with it. Just remind yourself that even though it SEEMS worse, you are simply going through the process, which often means making a bigger mess before you can make it better!

I tend to agree that you should get the furniture you're going to get rid of out of there as soon as you can. Once that's out, you may be able to "see" more clearly what can be done to sort things out.

Good luck! I'm sure you can succeed by Friday afternoon if you don't give up!

Carrie

[hopehope]

Hi, Choc-y.

We used to say "it gets worse before it gets better." meaning:

It looks worse on the way to getting better.

When you start to feel the overwhelm -- take the trash OUT. It doesn't have to be full -- just -- whatever you have now, out. Gives you an excuse to move, get out of there for a minute -- and feel great accomplishment -- at least THAT is out. Also, I suggest writing the titles of your piles -- a scribble on a spare piece of cardboard or envelope or the back of some unneeded mail is fine -- just puts the order out there -- and it's less you have to maintain in your mind. It's a kind of spur.

Gotta go! HH

[kitrin]

how i would tackle this room.. gather everything that you can gather up that is loose stuff.. pile it on the bed.

move out the furniture you dont want

sweep what is left on the floor into pile in center

line laundry baskets and sorting boxes a long the wall..

sort the floor pile and the bed pile 15 minutes at a time.

remove all laundry baskets etc as they fill..


everyone has what works for them though

[scribbles]

It's tough that things have to look worse before they look better. But the important thing is that you are working to make things better. Hang in there; you are at the worst part now.

One little tip that helped me when I was tackling the piles of stuff in my Room of Doom. There were many things that either didn't belong in that room or that could go in there, but I didn't know how much I had. For example, I had craft stuff in boxes, in bags, on the floor, on the bookshelves. I had snapshots and pictures all over the place. I knew going in that I would have to make or buy something to store the craft stuff in. I would need some way of storing the pictures safely and maybe even displaying some of them.

I started making piles. Craft things here, pictures there, clothes to keep over here, clothes to give away over there. But the piles got bigger and bigger. So I started using boxes to sort the stuff. All craft stuff in a box and make sure I labeled the boxes! Once a box was full, I took it out of the Room of Doom and put in against the wall in the living room.

When I finished the Room of Doom, I had the Wall o' Boxes in the living room. Five boxes of craft stuff, two boxes of pictures, etc. The Wall o' Boxes slowly shrunk as I went through each category of stuff and decided to keep or toss or donate each thing. I could never have made those decisions while I was sorting everything in the room. I needed to see all my craft stuff all together in one place before I could make decisions about it. Once I knew everything that I had, it was much easier to determine if something should be kept or tossed.

I have realized that I can only make so many decisions at a time. Then my "decider muscle" gets tired and wants to put everything in the "maybe" pile. So for me, tossing the obvious trash and sorting and moving the rest of the stuff to be decided about later works best.

[Carrie]

Scribbles, I know just what you mean abt the "decider muscle"!! That's just the trouble I'm having in the bedroom. Most of what's left is stuff that's being kept .......... but I do not know WHERE the stuff is going to go yet. Like you, I'm not sure how much of each "catagory" of stuff I have. I think I need to see it all together, as you said. I'll see if I can drum up enough boxes to try your method!

Carrie