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Post by messyjedi on Apr 3, 2010 10:42:27 GMT -5
I have actually been getting some things done the last week or two, which is awesome. I spent several days concentrating on the laundry mess. Instead of throwing it all in the laundry room, I am sorting first and pulling out things that don't fit or are out of season or whatever. These are getting bagged into giant leaf bags. I know, I know, many of you are saying throw those bags away. I am not there yet. I am motivated though and if I can get caught up on the normal laundry back log, then I will start on those bags, weeding out what can be put away for the next child or next season, then donating the rest. I already have families lined up that can use the baby clothes either way. The good part about this, is that getting eveyrone dressed has been much easier, not having to get up extra early to do a load of laundry before we go somewhere. The downside is, while I found floor in one room, I found nothing but another layer of clothes in my bedroom That was very disheartening, to see and have to admit that the problem was much bigger than I had acknowledged. Dh and I spent some time talking about it last week, after watching an episode of hoarders. Neither of us hang on to things because we are attached to them, it is more an issue of putting off until tomorrow what could be done today. Decisions are hard for me, any decisions. I have to research and think and plan. So instead of attacking a pile, I stack it higher, with the intentions to do it later. Another revelation for the week, I was on the phone with my dd who has spent the last year in an apartment and is now heading off to school. She has the normal teenage girl stuff, books, corsages from dances, trophies, etc. She is asking how to deal with this or that and I am trying to help. She complained about the stacks of papers and books she has from various classes and activites and asked why they give you all of this stuff and what are you supposed to do with it. I laughed and said normal people throw it away. She then launches into a monologue about how then it would end up in a landfill and she would rather hold onto it than add to a landfill. Oh how I resemble those words! But I know from looking around my house that if you hold onto everything, pretty soon your house IS the landfill. Very frightening to hear my thoughts come out of my dd's mouth. Dh and I got busy yesterday and put a ton of extra furniture out on the curb with a curb alert post on craigslist. It hit me at some point during the day that we had enough furniture out there to furnish a small apartment. And that was overflow in our house! Wow. We are now 1 refrigerator, 1 couch, 1 chair, 1 double bed, 1 twin mattress, and 2 kitchen tables lighter. While we were at it, I cleaned about half of my office to fit in a cabinet that I didn't want to get rid of. Funny how the open floor space makes the mess look worse, huh? My main goal today is to find my kitchen again. As I have worked on the rest of the house, I have completely lost it again. Between kids leaving messes and dogs getting into stuff, it is completely unuseable again. I would like to be able to dye easter eggs tonight and cook some sort of decent meal tomorrow for Easter, so that is where I am headed. I will try and check in today so please feel free to hold me accountable.
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Post by StuffNoMore on Apr 3, 2010 10:54:06 GMT -5
You've made a great dent in achieving your goal mj. For every one thing you do, it's one thing closer to the end. I felt much like you when I started but refused to let myself get discouraged with the mountain of stuff facing me. I just kept looking to what it would be like to have it all done and once again feel and live like a real person. I reached that place now with the exception of a few closets and the basement which flooded with the rains we got here in Ma. I wish I had done it sooner but it wasn't possible until I found this site. You can do it too. You've already prove that by the accomplishments you've made the past couple of weeks. Hugs SNM
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Post by mellowyellow on Apr 3, 2010 11:03:25 GMT -5
"Funny how the open floor space makes the mess look worse, huh? "
Very true words. I am facing that in my bedroom. It gets cleaner.. I see the piles of clothes... I get discouraged.. It gets messy again... and so on...
It's definitely not easy to talk your way into continuing sometimes... so I guess we just have to do it and not think about it.. Just continue and keep plugging away.
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Apr 3, 2010 11:30:00 GMT -5
When the show people came (a year ago this month), we were overrun with clothes. Our goat trails were through clothes, for the most part. The attack on that problem consisted of a) bagging up every bit of it, dirty and clean. (We ended up with 13 construction black bags.) b) sorting. You're going to love this, but I bet most people here wouldn't do it: I unloaded every single bag onto a tarp in the front yard. People wondered what the heck was going on, but some figured I was sorting things for a church project or something. Me being me though, if anyone asked, I just said, "No, I'm a hoarder and I have a lot of clothes to deal with." But most people didn't ask. They'd drive or walk by and smile and say hi, and I did the same to them. I just kept sorting. Now, remember, I have 2 young kids, so I had a LOT of clothes that didn't fit anymore, or that wouldn't be the right size for the right season. All the clothes that fit into those categories went into a pile for donation. All the rest of the stuff was sorted by size already because of the last step. That's when I had to make some very difficult decisions. How many do I keep? How many jeans does each boy really need? What about t-shirts? What about sweaters? It was a huge deal. It was hard. I remember I decided that each boy needed no more than 10 t-shirts (and even that was on the liberal side). After after making those decisions, I started picking through my favorites. I let the boys pick their favorites. They actually enjoyed picking their favorites, including Alex, whom you probably remember is a hoarder himself. Every other item of clothing was bagged up and donated. It's a cutthroat process, but it works. Oh, and my reason for doing it in the front yard was to have the space to lay it all out, and to give me incentive to GET IT DONE. I didn't want my front yard filled with clothes for the neihbors to see forever. It all stayed out there overnight, but I had it all sorted in less than 2 days. It worked for me. I hope you can find a similar process, but the main thing is to work out how many blouses you really need in order to get by comfortably. Jeans. T-shirts. Even coats and purses. And shoes. Just figure out the number NEEDED, and work from there. Hope this helps.
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Post by messyjedi on Apr 3, 2010 11:36:07 GMT -5
MiSc, that absolutely does help. And it helps to know that other moms are in my same boat. Now take your two children, and multiply it I don't know if you caught it before, but I have 7, I have 6 kids 12 and under in my house right now. So even the clothes we currently wearing are a burden. Add to that 5 years worth of things that should have been purged and you get the picture. I wonder how many bags all of our clothes would fill? I am skeered
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Apr 3, 2010 12:00:04 GMT -5
My biggest problem is organizing, too. Having it all in one area makes it easier. Do you know any other moms in the same boat? You could invite them over with their own bags, and have a "hand-me-down party."
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Post by mellowyellow on Apr 3, 2010 12:01:29 GMT -5
Hmmm... I have always thought that the only way I would truly get a handle on my clothes issue is to do what you mentioned Misc. But living on a busy street (traffic, but mostly people walking and biking by), I couldn't leave my thing outside without someone coming for the "yard sale". Perhaps it's something to consider doing in the backyard... I'm not sure I would be able to do it all myself though, and I don't want anyone helping me with clothes issues.
Right now, all my clothing is contained to my bedroom, laundry room, and three other closets. If I could control the bedroom, that would be 90% of the issue resolved. But still... it always amounts to the same thing for me... Too much clothes. Too much clothes that doesn't fit. Too little clothes that is right for me right now.
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Post by success19 on Apr 3, 2010 12:08:44 GMT -5
Get a small clothing rack and put the clothes you wear on it for a month - all the other stuff can probably go - at least 90% - unless it is seasonal stuff. I have put the things I know I am taking overseas in a small section - some of that will get boxed to mail to me. If you want money find a consignment shop and sell the stuff. I have gotten rid of tons but still have a way to go. Getting rid of furniture is the next issue. That involves listing - talking to people on the phone - waiting for them to show up - having them in my home.
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Post by dtesposito on Apr 3, 2010 18:35:58 GMT -5
Clothing is not a problem for me, but several years ago I helped a friend tackle her clothing mountains this way--we bought a box of lawn size garbage bags, and stapled an index card to each one with a category--blouses, jeans, other pants, skirts, dresses, jackets. Then went through all the piles and closets and put all the like items together. It wasn't until all the clothing was in bags and she could take one bag and spread it all out in her basement that she could see what she had. Otherwise, she would pick up one blouse and say--"I can't get rid of this, I don't remember if I have another navy blouse that fits." When you can see every blouse you have, you can pick the best ones and let the others go. Most of her categories fit into one of those giant garbage bags, but if you have more than one giant bag of blouses, say, you could always break them down into long sleeve, short sleeve, tank top. The other advantage to this is that you completely empty out your closets, so you can start putting the good stuff in and when your closets are full you know the rest should go. It's a big project though, if only one person does the sorting it takes a long time--good to get a friend to help on this one.
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Post by CaringFriend on Apr 3, 2010 19:40:06 GMT -5
Another revelation for the week, I was on the phone with my dd who has spent the last year in an apartment and is now heading off to school. She has the normal teenage girl stuff, books, corsages from dances, trophies, etc. She is asking how to deal with this or that and I am trying to help. She complained about the stacks of papers and books she has from various classes and activites and asked why they give you all of this stuff and what are you supposed to do with it. I laughed and said normal people throw it away. She then launches into a monologue about how then it would end up in a landfill and she would rather hold onto it than add to a landfill. Oh how I resemble those words! But I know from looking around my house that if you hold onto everything, pretty soon your house IS the landfill. Remind her that her stuff will end up in a landfill some day anyhow. Better sooner than later. And, as you indicated it's either the official landfill or turning her living quarters into her personal landfill. Suggest she call the local library to ask if they are taking donations of old books. They won't be putting them on their shelves, but some libraries have annual sales. Ours is attended by thousands of people who buy the oddest titles. If she can't part with the typical teenage stuff (corsages, ticket stubs, posters, etc), suggest she put it all into an airtight plastic storage box. Then she should make a note to go through it every 6 months. She will be surprised when she begins to discard things. It's like peeling off the layers of an onion. What she clings to now will be discarded in another cycle. Note: I LOVE to use the calendar feature of my computer for reminders like this and set them for every 4 or 6 months. Also, airtight is important to keep out the bugs who will want to inhabit and/or eat her corsages and papers. Maybe that idea alone will make her give it all up very soon! !
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Post by success19 on Apr 3, 2010 21:21:00 GMT -5
Taking a picture of something works too - just store it digitally.
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Post by 60isolderthanithot on Apr 3, 2010 22:25:51 GMT -5
Get a small clothing rack and put the clothes you wear on it for a month - What a great idea! I've been decluttering clothing too, trying to decide how many this 'n' that I need has been stalling my dealing with the situation. But if I just let my actual use be the guide, it's more reasonable and takes the pressure off. THANKS!
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Post by downandout on Apr 4, 2010 7:03:31 GMT -5
this is brilliant!
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Post by eagle on Apr 4, 2010 14:31:12 GMT -5
I admire you for your motherliness. I often say, "I have no idea how my mom managed with so many kids!" Of course that was part of the reason I chose to only have two. I KNEW I wouldn't be able to manage myself with more, let alone them.
One of the things my son used to do was take all his & his brother's clothes out of the dresser drawers and throw them out the window on the ground outside. I was often squeezing between the small space created by the tree, the house and the fence to go retrieve the clothes, then I'd have to wash most of it all over again. This really convinced me to keep the excess kids clothes at a minimum.
It wasn't until I lived alone that my clothes excesses became a problem. Then I really went overboard, for some reason, which never became clear to me. Eventually I was able to pare down and fit within the space I have. I still have too many clothes, though. I believe too much space for clothes storage is an invitation to go overboard in the clothing department.
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Post by messyjedi on Apr 5, 2010 8:50:15 GMT -5
Such great ideas in this post!!
Some updated for Monday morning. Dd is here from her apartment and in quite a tizzy about her excess "stuff" I think she truly is ready to let some go now. She does plan on packing some momentos in a rubbermaid tub, and she is donating some books back to her current college, to the proper department. I continued to bag up clothes over the weekend, until I hit a spot of ummm.......grossness? And had to stop. Dh may need to help me with that bit. An area got wet so you can imagine the outcome. The downstairs is just a small area away from being clothing free.
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