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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jan 30, 2014 12:10:16 GMT -5
Is that what we are really resisting when we resist cleaning our messes? Are we really resisting the person we are growing to be?
messymimiYes. Exactly.
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Jan 31, 2014 0:36:54 GMT -5
“To yield to Resistance deforms our spirit. It stunts us and makes us less than we are and were born to be.”--Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battles
"There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things."--Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince
"People are very open-minded about new things--as long as they’re exactly like the old ones."--Charles Kettering
"When people are least sure, they are often most dogmatic."--John Kenneth Galbraith
"Change before you have to."--Jack Welch Mimi, the two Louisiana philosophers I know always impart their wisdom over tables full of delicious Cajun food--and how could anyone reject philosophy given over étouffée, dirty rice, and jambalaya?
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Post by messymimi on Jan 31, 2014 7:44:35 GMT -5
"Don't be a bottleneck. If a matter is not a decision for the President or you, delegate it. Force responsibility down and out. Find problem areas, add structure and delegate. The pressure is to do the reverse. Resist it." ~ Donald Rumsfeld
Don't be the bottleneck in your home, if you have family. Don't make them come to you for everything. If it's not a decision for you and the SO to make, force the responsibility down and out. Find the problem areas, add some structure so the family can make their own decisions or know what to do. The desire is to be the keeper of information and the one who knows and runs everything, because you are the mom or the female in the house. Resist that.
messymimi
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Jan 31, 2014 16:53:09 GMT -5
“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.”--Steven Pressfield
"Resistance at all cost is the most senseless act there is."--Friedrich Durrenmatt
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself--and you are the easiest person to fool."--Richard Feynman
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."--Victor Frankl
"Some people want it to happen...Some people wish it to happen...Others tear down the walls of resistance and make it happen."--Unknown
"Like a magnetized needle floating on a surface of oil, Resistance will unfailingly point to true north--meaning that calling or action it most wants to stop us from doing. We can use this. We can use it as a compass. We can navigate by Resistance, letting it guide us to that calling or action that we must follow before all others.”--Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battles
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 2, 2014 5:51:49 GMT -5
"Clutter is not just physical stuff. It's old ideas, toxic relationships, and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self."--Eleanor Brownn
Here at SOoS, we've all been fortunate enough to find the support we need as we work on making our homes clean and clutter-free--the kind of support most of us rarely find in our lives offline. Not only do many of us not find the support we need to get started and keep going, the barrage of negative comments and behaviors we get from those who are supposed to be closest to us can actually do tremendous harm, making us want to give up before we've even begun.
In many cases, some of these relationships have become toxic, poisoning our self-esteem and sense of well-being, making us question each step we take forward and causing us to wonder if every bad thing they've ever said to or about us is true. For those of us currently involved in a toxic relationship, be it with a family member or friend, we know it's not healthy for these relationships to continue to tear us down, so we have only two choices: Find a way to change the relationship or walk away.
This month's quotes will look at improving relationships and if necessary, leaving them. There will also be several quotes about what positive relationships are all about, because just as we all are deserving of clean and clutter-free homes, we are all deserving of love and support as we work toward our goals.
“It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it.”--Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
"You are allowed to terminate toxic relationships. You are allowed to walk away from people who hurt you. You are allowed to be angry and selfish and unforgiving. You don't owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself."--Unknown
"The only way to get better is to surround yourself with better people."--Shaquille O'Neal
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Post by messymimi on Feb 2, 2014 9:01:58 GMT -5
“It's hard to close the door on optimistic expectations when you love someone.” ~ Dennis Lehane, A Drink Before the War
Which is why it can be so hard to walk when it's a toxic relationship.
messymimi
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Post by serenitynow on Feb 2, 2014 14:20:13 GMT -5
“It's hard to close the door on optimistic expectations when you love someone.” ~ Dennis Lehane, A Drink Before the War
Which is why it can be so hard to walk when it's a toxic relationship.
messymimi So very true, MM! I'm still reeling from the viciousness perpetrated on me by my younger sister. I would add that it's not only harboring unrealistic optimistic expectations that makes it so difficult to close the door, but also the need to understand WHY. I've spent my life trying to make sense of the insane actions of others to my detriment. It's simply impossible to be the peacemaker when dealing with vipers.
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Post by charis on Feb 2, 2014 15:47:59 GMT -5
"No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” ? Alice Walker
“It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.” ? Mark Twain
"Because introverts are typically good listeners and, at least, have the appearance of calmness, we are attractive to emotionally needy people. Introverts, gratified that other people are initiating with them, can easily get caught in these exhausting and unsatisfying relationships.” ? Adam S. McHugh
"True friends will always push you towards the great possibilities of your future, false friends will always chain you to the mistakes in your past.” ? Seth Brown
"A doubtful friend is worse than a certain enemy. Let a man be one thing or the other, and we then know how to meet him.” ? Aesop, Aesop's Fables
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Post by def6 on Feb 2, 2014 20:04:02 GMT -5
Love thine Enemies…Turn the other cheek (So if they are striking you …they can have a go at the other side) Paraphrased words Jesus, Holy Bible.
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 2, 2014 21:59:27 GMT -5
"Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize our own."--Unknown
"Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice."--Steve Jobs
"The most memorable people in your life will be the people who loved you when you were not loving yourself."--Unknown charis and def6, thank you so much for helping to start off the month with some great quote contributions! (And as always, a big thank you to Mimi, who's here to pick up my slack when I'm a slacker. )
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Post by tiggy on Feb 3, 2014 3:54:55 GMT -5
At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart - but not in your life. Unknown
Live your life with the freedom you deserve, not with the shackles of the past - Paula Jones
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Post by messymimi on Feb 3, 2014 7:20:55 GMT -5
“Nobody is so busy that they can't make time for the people they really care about.” ~ Leila Sales, Past Perfect
Def, yes, Jesus said a lot of things about relationships, and about forgiving, and about reconciling. Yes, we often do need to turn the other cheek. There also comes a time where we are just casting pearls before swine, and we need to stop.
For example, i have a cousin who is very toxic. If she came to me for food, i would feed her. If she came to me for another drink, i wouldn't give it to her. Love means doing what is best for the person you love, not what feels good to you at the moment, and sometimes that's turning the other cheek, and sometimes it's putting distance between you so that the person sees his/her need to deal with the poison within.
to all, may we all come to know how to do these things.
messymimi
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Joined: January 1970
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2014 12:01:50 GMT -5
Thank you so much for this Charis. I had begun to think that this tendency of mine in relationships was to do with me and although there is some truth in that it is not the whole truth. I do need to examine my need for such relationships but maybe I can develop healthier ones. I had not considered the more positive aspects of it in relation to myself.
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Post by immaculata on Feb 3, 2014 15:49:18 GMT -5
"If you don't change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?" - Douglas Adams
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Post by toomuchstuph on Feb 3, 2014 16:01:30 GMT -5
“You can love them, forgive them, want good things for them…but still move on without them.” - Mandy Hale (author)
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