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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 16, 2014 17:16:32 GMT -5
"The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become."--Unknown
“'Having a beef' with someone is unnecessary and avoidable. Whatever the issue, if not positive, it is an opportunity to cut the excess fat from an unhealthy dietary network. Simply excuse yourself from the table of negativity and lean forward in peace.”--T.F. Hodge, From Within I Rise: Spiritual Triumph Over Death and Conscious Encounters with "The Divine Presence"
"Forget grudges. The only people who deserve a permanent place in your head should be those who deserve a permanent place in your heart."--Unknown
"Always believe in yourself. No matter who's around you being negative or thrusting negative energy at you, totally block it off--because whatever you believe, you become."--Michael Jackson
maggie, I am so glad you've found this month's topic to be helpful. I hope for the best with your volunteer work. It's a shame when some of those who should be working with others for the good of a common cause put their egos before the people, animals, places, etc., they're supposed to be helping.
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Post by messymimi on Feb 17, 2014 7:04:47 GMT -5
“Nothing strong can be built on a foundation of lies and omissions.” ~ Isabel Allende, Maya's Notebook
messymimi
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 17, 2014 15:13:01 GMT -5
"It is very sad to me that some people are so intent on leaving their mark on the world that they don't care if that mark is a scar."--John Green
“Toxic people will pollute everything around them. Don’t hesitate. Fumigate.”--Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
"If I cut you off, chances are you handed me the scissors."--Unknown
“You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It wont happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ‘I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I'm not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.'”--Joel Osteen, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Feb 17, 2014 15:20:05 GMT -5
My most toxic relationship is with the voice of "Self-Doubt" within my head. We must cut ourselves off from that toxic voice. And find a new "friend" in the voice of "Self-Confidence". Our member Marjieroze wrote "a letter to my self-doubt" -- many years ago on the old Squalor Survivors site. it's copyright, so we cannot quote it here, or anywhere else. But we can read it. Go here www.squalorsurvivors.com/overcoming/yourself/goals.shtmland scroll down to "Dear Self Doubt"
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Post by messymimi on Feb 18, 2014 7:14:13 GMT -5
“The best relationships are between two people who care more about each other's good than their own momentary pleasure.” ~ Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye Study Guide
Isn't the truest definition of love, caring more for the needs of the other than for the needs of the self? Toxic people, by definition, cannot do that, at least not for you.
CL, your self-doubt doesn't have your good in mind.
messymimi
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 18, 2014 21:42:31 GMT -5
"You don't ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn't matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend or acquaintance--you don't have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It's one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go."--Danielle Koepke
"You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around."--Unknown
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Post by messymimi on Feb 19, 2014 7:15:28 GMT -5
“7 things negative people will do to you. They will... 1. Demean your value; 2. Destroy your image 3. Drive you crazily! 4. Dispose your dreams! 5. Discredit your imagination! 6. Deframe your abilities and 7. Disbelieve your opinions!
Stay away from negative people!” ? Israelmore Ayivor
messymimi
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Post by GuitarStrings on Feb 19, 2014 10:32:18 GMT -5
I have had to let go of a dream of being reunited with one of my brothers. He and his wife have dug themselves into their own deep hole, believing everyone else (especially my parents) is against them, when it was they who cut themselves off. Anything my parents tried to do to repair the relationship was never the right thing. It began with a misunderstanding and just snowballed from there.
Several years ago my mother died. Estranged brother and his wife did not come to the funeral, did not send any cards or flowers or call on the phone. It was incredibly sad. My mother was a kind, loving, extremely generous person. This rift with my brother hurt her deeply.
After the funeral, I wrote a long letter to my brother explaining about Mom's illness. He sent me a very short reply, and said to please accept condolences from them, which is odd since she was HIS mother too.
I feel so sad for him. It didn't have to be this way.
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 20, 2014 0:58:37 GMT -5
“Unfortunately, some family members are so psychotic that no matter how hard you try to forge a healthy relationship, nothing will help. Now that you're an adult, take refuge in the fact that some things are beyond your control. You owe it to yourself to steer clear of people who are harmful to your health.”--Andrea Lavinthal, Your So-Called Life: A Guide to Boys, Body Issues, and Other Big-Girl Drama You Thought You Would Have Figured Out by Now
"Bless the ones that walked away from you--they're just making room for the ones that won't."--Unknown
"There are things we don't want to happen, but have to accept. Things we don't want to know, but have to learn. And people we can't live without, but have to let go."--Jennifer Jareau
"Relationships are like glass--sometimes it's better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put them back together."--UnknownGuitarStrings, I'm sorry to hear your brother has let his anger lead him to make choices he will eventually come to regret. I once volunteered in a nursing home, and when the residents spoke about their biggest disappointments in life, it almost always involved either losing touch or not mending fences with people they once cared about. As you said, it's very sad, and I hope perhaps someday your brother will change his mind.
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Post by messymimi on Feb 20, 2014 6:51:59 GMT -5
"My father once said, 'If you're in the desert and you're dying of thirst, are you going to drink a glass of blood or are you going to drink a glass of water?' I think what he was trying to say, interesting coming from my blood father, is sometimes there are people in your family that can be toxic." ~ Nicolas Cage
GuitarStrings, i'm so sorry your brother made those choices. Every child sees the parents totally differently from the other children, and he may have seen them in a way you and the rest of your siblings did not. It doesn't excuse his behavior, though, just might help explain some of it.
messymimi
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Post by GuitarStrings on Feb 20, 2014 9:53:11 GMT -5
"My father once said, 'If you're in the desert and you're dying of thirst, are you going to drink a glass of blood or are you going to drink a glass of water?' I think what he was trying to say, interesting coming from my blood father, is sometimes there are people in your family that can be toxic." ~ Nicolas Cage
GuitarStrings, i'm so sorry your brother made those choices. Every child sees the parents totally differently from the other children, and he may have seen them in a way you and the rest of your siblings did not. It doesn't excuse his behavior, though, just might help explain some of it.
messymimi Messymimi, yes that is true. Every person has their own perspective and view of other family members. However, this particular brother is very easily influenced. He always has been. We think he let his wife convince him that our parents and especially our mother, were against them. That they were not nice people. Nothing could be further from the truth, but they have their own truth. When you have cut yourself off from family for years, you can build your own cocoon and tell yourself your own stories, over and over. You can come to believe all sorts of things. I feel so sad for them. We all would have loved to have had them in our family.
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Post by GuitarStrings on Feb 20, 2014 9:58:11 GMT -5
GuitarStrings, I'm sorry to hear your brother has let his anger lead him to make choices he will eventually come to regret. I once volunteered in a nursing home, and when the residents spoke about their biggest disappointments in life, it almost always involved either losing touch or not mending fences with people they once cared about. As you said, it's very sad, and I hope perhaps someday your brother will change his mind. Yes, I hope that he will change his mind, too, but it's been many years. I've been considering writing him another letter. In the last one I gave him all my contact info, cell #, email, everything. All I got back was one strange, very short response. So I just don't know. Many years ago he told me not to call or write...and I did as he requested until after our mother died. I felt I owed it to him to tell him about what happened to her. I'm not sure what to do now.
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 20, 2014 15:19:03 GMT -5
"People may rain on your parade because they're jealous of your sun and tired of their shade."--Unknown
"Don't worry about what other people say behind your back. They are the people finding faults in your life instead of fixing the faults in their own."--Unknown
"When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom, or criticize you, remember they're telling you their story, not yours."--Cynthia Occelli
"Should you find yourself the victim of other peoples' bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities, remember this: Things could be much worse--you could be one of them."--Unknown
"Ignore the people who talk about you behind your back. That's exactly where they belong--behind you."--Jerose
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Post by messymimi on Feb 21, 2014 7:14:18 GMT -5
“Don't feed your ego with my soul.” ~ Arzum Uzun
That's what toxic people do, feed their egos with your soul.
messymimi
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 21, 2014 23:14:17 GMT -5
"Always stay away from harsh and negative energies. We absorb the energies of the people who are around us and hence, if we are around people who think negative or bring us down, then we will always feel drained. So it's better to let go of those things and people from your life that doesn't serve you in a positive way. Always stay around people who encourage you, support you, and lift your spirit up. Stay happy and stay blessed."--Abira Mukherjee
"If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know it."--Christie Williams
"You can't litter negativity everywhere and then wonder why you've got a trashy life."--Unknown
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