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Post by messymimi on Feb 11, 2014 7:19:58 GMT -5
“I'm not crying because of you; you're not worth it. I'm crying because my delusion of who you were was shattered by the truth of who you are.” ` Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
messymimi
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 11, 2014 14:47:15 GMT -5
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a**holes."--William Gibson
"You can't choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls."--Unknown
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Post by puppybox on Feb 12, 2014 9:48:10 GMT -5
“The fact is, many people do not know how treat themselves and are experts at putting themselves down. In fact, if most of us were in a relationship with ourselves, we would break up with us, given how badly we treat ourselves.” ~ Ramani Durvasula, You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life
This may not fit exactly, because the book it's from is about the relationship to food, yet it's true, we often treat ourselves badly, and our first relationship is with ourselves.
messymimi thanks for this, mimi. as someone with self esteem difficulties and wanting to break up with myself a lot, and as someone with lifelong food issues, this post really speaks to me. and isn't a toxic person most toxic to themselves? i think so. but they can do so much damage to others while feeding self hatred. powerful "food" for thought. great quotes on a fascinating subject and one that we all have experienced. You're not a toxic person, sillypants.
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Post by creativechaos on Feb 12, 2014 11:55:23 GMT -5
oh puppy; i wasn't referring to myself as a toxic person (although sometimes i get so negative about the state of the world and environment that i'm a downer to be around.) i think a lot of people have both food and self esteem issues - including toxic people. it's how they deal with low self esteem - attacking and tearing down others - that makes them toxic. (i do have food and hoarding issues though - fact.) i kind of like being called sillypants though.
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Post by messymimi on Feb 12, 2014 13:43:04 GMT -5
“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you're allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.” ~ Shannon L. Alder
messymimi
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 12, 2014 23:42:00 GMT -5
"In life there are some people you will have to lose in order to find yourself."--Unknown
“Lots of things can be fixed. Things can be fixed. But many times, relationships between people cannot be fixed, because they should not be fixed. You're aboard a ship setting sail, and the other person has joined the inland circus, or is boarding a different ship, and you just can't be with each other anymore. Because you shouldn't be.”--C. JoyBell C.
"Healing requires conscious choices...Very few alcoholics want to give up liquor. Obese people don’t want to give up food. Diabetics don’t want to give up sugar. People in toxic relationships don’t want to leave because that’s what they know. It’s change. People are afraid of change."--Caroline Myss
"Sometimes you just have to erase the messages, delete the numbers, and move on. You don't have to forget who that person was to you; you just have to accept that they aren't that person anymore."--Unknown
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 13, 2014 14:00:30 GMT -5
"Some people come into your life as blessings. Others come in as lessons."--Unknown
“If there is a particular person in your life that is repeatedly choosing not to honor you and is causing you more sadness or pain than they are joy--it might be time to release that friendship back to God and trust that it is not where you belong.”--Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
"When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you wind up polished and they end up useless."--Unknown
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."--Eleanor Roosevelt
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Post by messymimi on Feb 13, 2014 14:28:50 GMT -5
“Some people view love and romance as a sacred bond between two individuals. Other people see love as a game, where the goal is to manipulate another individual and gain emotional power over a partner. People who view love as a game are much more likely to have multiple love interest; cheating is just another way to gain control over one's partner.” ~ David Reeves, In My Opinion
Don't play with the gamers, they always win -- at least in their view.
messymimi
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Post by messymimi on Feb 14, 2014 6:51:22 GMT -5
“Ignoring your intuition telling you this person is not for you will likely lead to more time wasted and more disappointments along the way.” ~ Stephan Labossiere
messymimi
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 14, 2014 16:10:01 GMT -5
"People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don't think that's true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world."--Kim Culbertson
"Let go of the people who dull your shine, poison your spirit, and bring you drama. Cancel your subscription to their issues."--Unknown
"Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone than in bad company."--Booker T. Washington
"If your presence doesn't add value to my life, your absence will make no difference."--Unknown
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Post by irisbloom on Feb 14, 2014 17:01:36 GMT -5
“The attitude you pose is greatly influenced by the links of friendships you bookmark. Good friends, good attitudes; best friends, best attitudes. Guess what for toxic friends...!” ? Israelmore Ayivor
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Post by messymimi on Feb 15, 2014 7:48:49 GMT -5
“Don't let feeling lonely push you into the arms of a person who will make you miserable.” ~ Stephan Labossiere
messymimi
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 15, 2014 13:39:48 GMT -5
"Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren't inherently bad people, but they aren't the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can't destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful, you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself."--Danielle Koepke
“Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”--Deborah Reber, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul: 101 Stories of Life, Love and Learning
"Be with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you."--Unknown irisbloom, thank you for the great quote contribution from Israelmore Ayivor! He has some very good ones on toxic people and relationships, doesn't he?
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Post by maggie on Feb 15, 2014 17:06:35 GMT -5
This topic is making me realize that I am in a semi-toxic volunteer situation. A few of the people causing difficulty for me are definitely toxic, but for some of them, it's not so much that they are toxic, but that they have different priorties than I do or we disagree about some things in the organization, or my responsibilities in this position put me in conflict with them (e.g. if they are not following the rules and it's my place to enforce the rules). I should have given up this position last year, but to be honest, one of the big reasons that I stayed on is to oppose someone who I think makes bad decisions for the group. I don't want to let down the group and there are some people who have told me that they are glad to have me standing up against him, but this position has taken a lot of time and energy and has involved a lot of negativity. There are upsides as well, but there is definitely a toxic element to it. I never thought of it that way before, and recognizing that it is toxic will, I think, help me be firm in resolve to step down at the next elections. However, the person who gives me the most trouble intends to stay on, and it is going to be hard not to see it as letting him win.
Just wanted to let you all know that I appreciate this thread.
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Post by messymimi on Feb 16, 2014 12:26:19 GMT -5
“Stop looking for your better half! You need to be whole to attract your better whole, if you expect to have a flourishing relationship.” ~ Valerie J. Lewis Coleman, The Forbidden Secrets of the Goody Box
messymimi
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