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Post by messymimi on Feb 22, 2014 7:40:43 GMT -5
“We're all guilty of dedicating time to people who didn't value it.” ~ Turcois Ominek
messymimi
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Post by GuitarStrings on Feb 22, 2014 14:55:04 GMT -5
"Sometimes you don't realize how toxic some people are until you breathe fresher air." --unknown
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 22, 2014 17:22:51 GMT -5
"Take control of your destiny. Believe in yourself. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Avoid negative sources, people, places, things, and habits. Don't give up and don't give in."--Wanda Carter
"Avoid negative people, for they are the greatest destroyers of self-confidence and self-esteem. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you."--Unknown
"If people around you aren't going anywhere, if their dreams are no bigger than hanging out on the corner, or if they're dragging you down, get rid of them. Negative people can sap your energy so fast, and they can take your dreams from you, too."--Magic Johnson
"Once you let go of negative people, positive ones appear."--Unknown GuitarStrings, thank you for great quote contribution. It's very true--we often don't see just how detrimental a relationship has been until we're no longer in it.
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 24, 2014 0:07:36 GMT -5
"Hurt people hurt people. We're not being judgmental by separating ourselves from such people. But we should do so with compassion. Avoid the reactive response of believing they are bad; they already think so and are acting that way. They aren't bad; they are damaged. Be compassionate without trying to change or fix that person."--Will Bowen
"There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn't with you, it is with themselves."--Unknown
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Post by messymimi on Feb 24, 2014 6:50:05 GMT -5
“No one should ever be punished for feeling love.” ~ Julieanne O'Connor, Spelling It Out for Your Man
messymimi
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 24, 2014 12:56:36 GMT -5
“Stay away from people who gossip and spread rumors. They are choosing the path of emotional bullying and negativity.”--Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
"I have walked away from friendships when I've realized that someone smiles to someone else's face, then talks about them the minute they walk out of a room. I have no room in my life for that kind of negative energy anymore."--Sophia Bush
“Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you.”--Israelmore Ayivor
"I'm making some changes in my life. If you don't hear anything from me, then you are one of them."--Unknown
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Post by irisbloom on Feb 24, 2014 13:02:51 GMT -5
“Protect your good image from the eyes of negative viewers, who may look at your good appearance with an ugly fiendish eye, and ruin your positive qualities with their chemical infested tongues.” ? Michael Bassey Johnson
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Post by messymimi on Feb 25, 2014 6:58:24 GMT -5
"You know it's a bad sign when the theme song from Titanic describes your relationship." ~ Julia Spencer-Fleming, All Mortal Flesh
messymimi
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 25, 2014 15:34:22 GMT -5
“Look around you at the people you spend the most time with and realize that your life can’t rise any higher than your friendships.”--Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”--Nicholas Sparks
“Girls, you've gotta know when it's time to turn the page.”--Tori Amos, Tori Amos: From the Choirgirl Hotel irisbloom, thank you for the quote contribution! (A "chemical infested tongue" sounds either really painful or like something you'd see on the SyFy Channel. )
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Post by messymimi on Feb 26, 2014 6:22:27 GMT -5
“His attention means nothing if you don't have his respect.” ~ Stephan Labossiere
That can be applied to any relationship, though.
messymimi
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 26, 2014 20:33:16 GMT -5
"Negative people need drama like it's oxygen. Stay positive and take their breath away."--Unknown
"You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce."--T. Gaskins
"Don't you love it when you treat someone the way they treat you, and they get mad about it?"--Unknown
"We would do ourselves a tremendous favor by letting go of the people who poison our spirit."--Steve Maraboli
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Post by creativechaos on Feb 26, 2014 22:41:32 GMT -5
Yes, I hope that he will change his mind, too, but it's been many years. I've been considering writing him another letter. In the last one I gave him all my contact info, cell #, email, everything. All I got back was one strange, very short response. So I just don't know. Many years ago he told me not to call or write...and I did as he requested until after our mother died. I felt I owed it to him to tell him about what happened to her. I'm not sure what to do now. Guitarstrings, it pained me to read of your brother's keeping his distance. it seems best to keep your brother in your heart as you have done, pray for him in whatever fashion your pray for someone's wellbeing, and put the loving energy that you would give him into another more positive relationship with someone else - perhaps a brother-like person to you, one that "feels" like good family - or another family member. if you do write to your brother - examine your own motives and speak from your heart. if you were once close, perhaps just saying you're thinking of him and miss him will suffice. whatever you do, it's best to have no expectations of the outcome. it is sad to lose a family member in this way through no fault of your own, or your mom's. all you can do is wish him well in your heart and move on to more fulfilling relationships. you don't say if your dad is alive, but maybe he could use some extra love and care right now. i've had to learn this the hard way myself; i also had to take a long hard look at my own judgments and how i helped cause problems in my family of origin. eventually, fences were mended in my family; we all had to grow into it and own our part in things, and luckily that happened in our family. it doesn't always go that well. if your brother's wife is influencing his thoughts, there's probably nothing you can do or say that will change his mind.
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Post by messymimi on Feb 27, 2014 6:40:53 GMT -5
“Being in a bad relationship is like trying to dance when your sad” ~ Ron Baratono
messymimi
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Feb 27, 2014 14:53:53 GMT -5
I love the tori amos quote DD, she's my favorite person in the whole world!
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Feb 27, 2014 14:54:32 GMT -5
Just a few reminders that we should not allow the toxic behavior of others to make us toxic to ourselves...
"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the President. You realize that you control your own destiny."--Albert Ellis
"There are times in my life when I have been medicine for some while poison for others. I used to think I was a victim of my story until I realized the truth that I am the creator of my story. I choose what type of person I will be and what type of impact I will leave on others. I will never choose the destructive path of self and outward victimization again."--Steve Maraboli
"You will never become who you want to be if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are."--Habeeb Akande
"Your life is your own, to develop or to destroy. You can blame others little and yourself almost totally if that life is not a productive, worthy, full, and abundant one."--Spencer W. Kimball
"Do not blame your parents for who you are. They gave you the genes, but you choose how to wear them."--Travis J. Hedrick
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