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Post by clutterfree on May 4, 2010 20:21:13 GMT -5
I read a few of the Pam and Peggy books and found I could relate to them like THIS (I'm holding my index and middle finger up together, no air between them--it was that close).
While the card system they taught in their SHE (Sidetracked Home Executives) book didn't really work out for me because I tried using it long before I was organized enough to do so and it's a bit tedious, I think their general principles are wonderful. And they do have a very motivational "let's go!" attitude which is nice.
It just feels good to read about how they'd keep promising themselves that they were going to get it together for their husbands' and kids' sakes, but never quite did. And how, for instance, Peggy (I think it was her) trying to dry wet socks in a microwave (which doesn't work) for her husband to go to work made her feel like a failure, yet again. I know those feelings (if not from their specific examples).
They're motivational (but skip the recipe book--good gravy) and friendly to read, if you know what I mean. I am not a Christian and they are, but their books are some of the few where I didn't feel preached to throughout (though I confess I have no interest in The Happiness File and have not read it, so I don't know about that one).
I've read all the Messies books, and found lots of helpful things in those, too. Sandra is much more preachy IMO, and quotes the Bible too much for my taste, and is less "chatty" but I still flip through them from time to time. We've just all been in the same place, so I find them all motivational. From the trenches stuff--I find it's good for me.
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on May 5, 2010 3:20:19 GMT -5
Thanks for setting me straight! Boy, I got that messed up!
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on May 5, 2010 8:14:06 GMT -5
The 'slob sisters' are real biological sisters who started EARLIER in the home-care book-on-line helping business. FlyLady taught a version of their routines, and was endorsed by them. From the FlyLady web-site:
What is a SHE? Who are Pam and Peggy and how can I find their website?
The book "Sidetracked Home Executives from Pigpen to Paradise" was written in 1977 by two sisters, Pam Young and Peggy Jones. This book describes a system Pam and Peggy came up with using 3 X 5 colored index cards to gain control over their housework. Over the years, Pam and Peggy's system has evolved to include routines and a planner. FlyLady uses their system to guide you through your path of peace. Script is correct! And to add on ... The Sidetracked Home Executives (S.H.E.) website is www.shesintouch.comAnd their book is reviewed here by Script and Arid: www.squalorsurvivors.com/resources/pigpen-to-paradise-review.shtml
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Post by mouseanne on May 7, 2010 12:39:53 GMT -5
Peggy retired. Pam Young is still active in the motivation business. www.innerkiddies.comwww.thegetoutofdebtbook.orgwww.happinessfile.comI get daily emails from innerkiddies. "The Inner Kiddies - 365 Surprise" Today's message: The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. George Burns Yesterday's message: I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' Eleanor Roosevelt Available at innerkiddies is the House Fairy program to motivate children to do their chores. no, mouseanne is not affiliated.  |
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Post by mellowyellow on May 7, 2010 20:53:50 GMT -5
I actually did that file card system for about a year or so. And it worked really well, and the cards were super organized. But it was a tonne of work to keep doing every day. It became a bit of an obsession. And then one day, someone..... me?.... cats?.... knocked down the card holder and it all got jumbled up, and I didn't know what I had done, or what I needed to do, and I didn't have the time, patience, interest to sort the dozens of files... and I just stopped doing the whole "system". But for what it was worth, it worked for me. And was kind of fun to do. As for FL and sinks... that is seriously what started me on the road to recovery. It was a small thing, but it really helped to know that at least my sink was clean and empty before I went to bed. Also, I love the 15 minutes. You can do anything for fifteen minutes. You don't have to do it all at once. I loved the 27 (? not sure of the number) pick up. Find that many things that need to be thrown out. In the beginning it was way too easy to do. Then it changed to 27 things that could be donated... and so on. Dividing the house into sections was also a good one for me. Working only in one zone at a time. I think that is perhaps one of the best ideas I got. I didn't have to stress out about all the other rooms, just one particular one in one particular week. The daily swish and flush of the toilet was a genius stroke. So simple, and virtually eliminated the need to do a serious scrub once or twice a month. --- Now... purple puddles? Gross-a-rama. Dressing up? Umm. No. Shoes? Umm. Also no. (Though now, in later years, I realize it's more that she wants people to be comfortable if they are going to do serious heavy duty cleaning. None of this fallen arches business. So now I finally understand her reasoning for it. And quite frankly, it reminds me of Mr Roger's Neighbourhood where he would take off his outside shoes and coat, and put on his indoor shoes and sweater. There is something to be said for that.) Blessing a house with a featherduster? Yuck. And the unending emails? Drove me mental. But still, I will never forget all the good things that DID come from the website, and I am grateful, because by starting there, I eventually ended up here, where my knowledge and inspiration overfloweth.  |
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Post by sidestep on Mar 14, 2011 12:07:11 GMT -5
Bumping since the topic of Flylady.net has come up. While flylady did not work for me, that site did point me to a link to Squalor Survivors which led me to this site, where I finally felt right at home & made my 1st real progress in Stepping Out of Squalor! So for that, I'm grateful. |
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 14, 2011 12:32:17 GMT -5
... I feel that she is NOT a GOOD resource for those seeking answers to complex issues. She is great for people who are:
*at most level 1-2--messy and cluttered, but not over-the-top in any squalorous direction
*have no serious 'contributing factors' to their squalor [serious mental/physical/environmental concerns]
*not true hoarders
*solidly in the middle class financially
You can't shine the sink until you FIND the sink.
Some of our members have so much stuff in our kitchens that we cannot get to the sink.
I pretty much agree with this, but have to say that frequenting her site, reading SOME of her e-mails, etc. has definitely helped me. And I am a hard core hoarder with multiple issues. For me, there is some good stuff there. I DO find a lot of things she says useful, meaningful and helpful to me. To me, she doesn't seem harsh or critical. I do think she is geared toward less "impaired" people. I agree with Def6, too. I take what I need, and I leave the rest. I am desperate and looking for every shred of help, motivation, inspiration I can get. I get some from her. Not enough to be my only source - but some help, nonetheless. And I'm grateful for any and all help, from all sources. I'm thankful we have a variety of resources, and that there are more cropping up every day. I'm thankful the world is becoming aware of people like us, and trying to address our issues. |
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 14, 2011 12:46:07 GMT -5
I haven't read the whole thread, and don't know if it has been mentioned, so forgive my redundancy if it has, but the site is actually Flylady.net instead of .com
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Post by fireweed on Mar 14, 2011 12:56:38 GMT -5
... I feel that she is NOT a GOOD resource for those seeking answers to complex issues. She is great for people who are:
*at most level 1-2--messy and cluttered, but not over-the-top in any squalorous direction
*have no serious 'contributing factors' to their squalor [serious mental/physical/environmental concerns]
*not true hoarders
*solidly in the middle class financially
You can't shine the sink until you FIND the sink.
Some of our members have so much stuff in our kitchens that we cannot get to the sink.
I agree with this. I think if you live in a house in a cul de sac without a lot of other issues Flylady is fine. But for those of us who have prolems with depression/anxiety, have substandard housing, and chronic money probems this site is ever so much better. Her insistence on tie shoes was a real stumbling block for me. I have to go outside to take out garbage, to put things in storage in our basesment or elsewhere, and where I live "outside does not mean a nice paved garage and/or driveway. Snow, ice, dust, mud is the usual condition. The more I get rid of the more I have to go outside. So I wear crocs indoors that I can slip off and slip into boots or outside crocs to take things outside so I don't track dirt back in. Tie shoes take too much time to deal with and it just makes another hurdle for me. Also like it's been said her webpage goes on and on and is intimidating. I had a terrible bout with anxiety and all the emails were too stressful so I quit. |
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Post by mouseanne on Mar 14, 2011 13:18:37 GMT -5
I get a bit of good out of flylady. But, more here!!!
As an impaired person who has to lay down & put up feet periodically, I use slides. Supportive ones. No doing tasks in bare feet or mule slides.
I think she started farther behind than some realize. she had to empty her sink to clean it. I also like that she only wants someone that far behind to do one new habit for a month, otherwise they crash & burn.
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Post by einsteinsdesk on Mar 14, 2011 13:57:20 GMT -5
I heard about flylady a while back before I even knew of Stepping out of Squalor. I went to her site and had an almost visceral reaction to the poor design. Even if the content is good, her web presence doesn't give the impression that she lives clutter free. It's so overwhelming, chaotic, and shall I say it? CLUTTERED. Plus, it's a bit too cutesy folksy for my taste.
I know some people have had good experience with her methods. I just couldn't get on board. I feel like this format with people chiming in on what works for them and what doesn't is perfect. Not everyone's solution will fit your life, but probably some one has found some solutions that work for them that will work for you too. One size does not fit all…
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 14, 2011 14:45:22 GMT -5
I get a bit of good out of flylady. But, more here!!! As an impaired person who has to lay down & put up feet periodically, I use slides. Supportive ones. No doing tasks in bare feet or mule slides. I think she started farther behind than some realize. she had to empty her sink to clean it. I also like that she only wants someone that far behind to do one new habit for a month, otherwise they crash & burn. If I recall correctly, which I may not - Flylady started in a hospital psychiatric ward and escaped a physically violent, abusive husband. I really think she started abused, suicidal and in squalor, very similar to many of us. That said, her current site, I really think would work well if you were level 1 or 2. I can't do the tie-shoe thing either, because of where I live (farm) and what gets tracked in - sand, mud, manure, etc. Some days I can't wear my clothes into the house! But every time I need to "start over," I know where to start - the sink. I know I can do anything for two minutes. Some days I remember to take a minute to swipe something while I'm passing by. Her statements about cleaning things before they were dirty, was my first intro to the strange idea of maintenance. I know that "progress, not perfection" is what counts, that housework done incorrectly still blesses me, and I am reminded to love myself. Who can fault that? A home blessing hour in my house is laughable. But when I get down to that level of squalor, I think her plan will be a great one. |
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susan
New Member
Joined: March 2011
Posts: 39
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Post by susan on Mar 14, 2011 16:00:51 GMT -5
Oh and one more thing - I like the idea of getting dressed all the way to your shoes - I didn't today and really haven't gotten much done. I'm the exact opposite. I hate wearing shoes ~ well, any footwear to be honest ~ and can't cope with wearing them to clean. While I get dressed, I'd rather not be seen in stuff I wear for cleaning should an 'emergency' arise (which I recall was one of her reasons for getting dressed). |
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 14, 2011 17:33:44 GMT -5
I like getting dressed first thing in the morning - although I often don't. But when I do, and someone drops by, and I have to go stand outside and talk to them, I'm always glad I'm dressed!  ! |
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msdare
New Member
Joined: September 2010
Posts: 51
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Post by msdare on Mar 14, 2011 17:42:44 GMT -5
I'm so glad to see this thread and dj I commend your courage! I once was going to say in chat why i didn't care for fly lady, but I didn't post it because I was afraid it may offend some people. My aunt gave me her book when she was done with it and my impression was it was written for messy housewives - which I am not. I have a career that keeps me very busy and I am a hoarder - not simply a messy person. I also would like to comment that I have the "All Too Much" book by Peter Walsh, mostly because I saw him on Oprah and I do pretty much anything Oprah says But when reading the book I found his tone quite judgmental - I recognize it from dealing with the non-hoarders in my life. Why would a person who doesn't truly understand the psychological factors behind hoarding write a book in the guise of an "expert" ? I'll take Randy Frost any day! He's a person who "gets" it and I can't recommend his books enough, especially "Stuff" Just my 2 cents ... |
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