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Post by wtfhappened on May 27, 2010 2:51:06 GMT -5
Hey folks! Was just curious what others find to be peculiar in their behavior or thought patterns? The more I watch shows like Hoarders and Hoarding the more I can catch myself thinking in similar ways; an example would be the idea of anyone else helping me sort through my stuff is intolerable to me still because "they don't know what's trash and what's not"... How many times have I heard someone on one of those programs say that?  I have even come to realize that I have an easier time throwing stuff away rather than donating or recycling it because that way no one will be touching *my* stuff!  Anyone else had realizations of peculiar thought patterns and what have you done to help get past them? /wtf |
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Post by lizzie on May 27, 2010 5:12:28 GMT -5
when I see unusual bits and pieces or seed pods or anything that intrigues me because of its shape/size and especially colour, I feel a STRONG desire to collect those things so I can make something creative with them 'one day'. Clear coloured plastic stuff especially draws me - eg on seeing some fabulously coloured clear plastic sets of knives and forks in the supermarket, I really wanted to buy them to make something - what, I don't know - a 'beaded' sort of curtain maybe - I am better at resisting these things now but still find it hard to not bring them home. To resist them, I will say that great Stephen Wright quote to myself: "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
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Post by canna on May 27, 2010 6:23:32 GMT -5
wtfhappened
you wrote I have even come to realize that I have an easier time throwing stuff away rather than donating or recycling it because that way no one will be touching *my* stuff!
Different for me. I want to donate or recycle everything that is not obvious trash or unuseable/broken. When I see friends/family "getting rid of stuff" nice things in good condition, and are going to just toss them...I take them... and I do donate/recycle them! I don't have a stash of these things "to be donated" sitting around. There are so many resale shops in the area it's no problem to stop by and donate quickly. I see it as being useful to someone else and sales help charities too. I tell others to donate, but will hear "nah, too much bother". What bother? I take it (to donate, not collect or hoard-ha). So my peculiar behavior is thought that yes that can be donated.
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Post by jkai3 on May 27, 2010 8:43:47 GMT -5
Dear One WTF, interesting topic!  Can hardly wait til all the responses pour in!  My main Thought with my stuff is, the "kewl" factor. Love things that are "one of a kind". Plus I was already drawn toward a love of antiques... so I collect all sorts of things with the thoughts of the history & people that might have used it before me. MY thoughts are centered around a belief that these items are built/made to last since they are still around.... I do the "donate" when I feel the urge to purge... but mainly it is clothing. When properly displayed, I love looking at my "old stuff. I get a "happy feeling" knowing very few people have anything else like it since it isn't a mass-produced item. I'm trying to change this "mind-set", so I can be free of my stuff... it's so hard to let go! I have serious thoughts of just getting a photo album & taking pictures & selling the stuff...I would still have the pictures, just not the clutter....I'm slowly working toward this with the thought of not being tied town to stuff that I have "good feelings" for as people are more important than things are...it's hard! Jkai3  |
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Post by Chris on May 27, 2010 10:51:51 GMT -5
One of my thought traps that I had/have is that an object or a collection might be valuable -- getting things like coin sets or commemorative this or that thinking someday I could make money from it. I have to say this is a thought that I now am almost cured of after facing hard times and having to sell a lot of things for way less than I paid I learned the hard way that *stuff* is not a good investment -- we see this on the hoarding shows all the time anything from scrap metal, beanie babies to collector plates and coins, and antique this and that. Thank goodness I'm getting rid of that belief/thought = that stuff is valuable and I should get and keep it so I can make money from it.  |
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Post by dtesposito on May 27, 2010 11:09:03 GMT -5
Great question! All of my thoughts that used to (and sometimes still do) make me keep things were/are more "distorted" than "strange"--because they were true, I just took them to extremes. Like, yeah, it's handy to keep a few recycled items around in case you need them (plastic grocery bags, used Cool Whip containers, old newspapers, scrap envelopes). My distortion was that I couldn't see that although I used maybe 7-8 plastic bags a week (for garbage and litter pan scooping) I would have a drawer full of about 500 of them, and would continue to take them from anyone who had extras and keep piling them up in my pantry. Not to mention the fact that back then I didn't use reusable bags so got my own supply of 7-8 every week! Why did years pass by before I looked at 3 cubic feet of space crammed tight with plastic bags and realize that even if I had an unusual plastic bag emergency, I couldn't use that many in my whole lifetime? Why did the whole undersink cabinet full of plastic food containers not strike me as absurd when I had a completely different set that I actually used for my own food, I just used the under sink ones if I needed a bowl to give a stray animal a meal, or a bowl to mix paint in or something. Maybe--6 a year? I had a couple hundred under there.
There seems to be some magnifying process that makes us estimate our needs in some areas beyond all reality.
Another thing I've just now become successful at is using the nice things I HAVE saved. I have some nice blank notebooks that I am actually using now, instead of putting them in a drawer because they were too good for every day use. I've had boxes of pretty stationery that I put away in drawers until they became yellowed and ugly, because no one was good enough to get a letter on the really nice paper. What mythical future event was I saving these things for? Meanwhile I was writing on scraps of paper that I saved. Distortion again.
Diane
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Post by messymimi on May 27, 2010 11:30:58 GMT -5
Yes, I tend to think in terms of others not knowing what I do need from what I can get rid of.
I also have to stop and talk myself through a sunk cost speech for many things.
One of my worst problems is the house itself. It is not salvageable, needing more structural work than the place is worth. It makes me sad to think of, putting so much effort into cleaning a place I don't really like and that will be torn down in a few years.
ETA -- I was on JustPlucky's blog, and I realized, I also hoard in part because of fear of lacking it later. Without this thread, I might not have seen that!
Thanks for starting this thread.
messymimi
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Post by moonglow on May 27, 2010 15:08:04 GMT -5
I also have to stop and talk myself through a sunk cost speech for many things.
Messymimi - what is a "sunk cost speech"?? |
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Post by Meme on May 27, 2010 15:17:16 GMT -5
I had most of these thoughts from time to time except the donate-- I was always able to let go to someone else as it felt like sharing--- my main reason for keeping things was thinking that I ;;could use it someday for something;;
I have a lot more will power to let go now as the cancer taught me that some day is today--
hugs from Meme
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Post by sleepymom on May 27, 2010 15:48:38 GMT -5
One of my things, especially with kids toys, is that all of the pieces have to be together before I can pass it on. I don`t mind the thought of getting rid of it so much, except for a few things, but I want to donate/freecycle it with all the parts intact & put together so someone else can use it. It`s really made me upset a few times when I`ve come across something to a playset that`s been long gone. I`m stuck right now on a box of Polly Pocket stuff. There are a lot of loose bits that have gone in, but there are a couple of playsets with fiddley bits that I need DD to put together/find the last piece to so I can offer it on freecycle. We are both sick of the whole thing, but haven`t managed to take the few minutes to finish the job.  The only thing that really helps is either to give up & put the whole thing in the trash, which I have done, but hate, or to get enough of it together that it is playable without whatever bits we can`t find. The PP stuff is playable, but the playsets are sitting RIGHT THERE, just needing us to pop them together. Guess I should put that as my goal for the evening  |
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Post by notsomessyshell on May 27, 2010 17:56:44 GMT -5
Interesting thread! Coming to the realization that other people just don't see things like I do. That has been a biggie. Realizing that other people just know when and how to clean. I have to schedule and write it down! The 2nd nature of cleaning is not something I possess. I am learning it. But it still surprises me when I hear someone speaking of cleaning something I have never even thought of! For example I had no idea until several years ago that the top of my electric stove lifted up. I just cleaned under the burners the best I could. Is this something everyone knows?!
As for things, I have the "it must be all together" before I can donate it or give it away mentality, too. I am big on "sets" of things.
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Post by messymimi on May 27, 2010 19:52:05 GMT -5
Moonglow,
From Wikipedia :
In economics and business decision-making, sunk costs are retrospective (past) costs that have already been incurred and cannot be recovered.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunk_costs
When I am tempted to keep something because it is worth so much or I spent so much on it, I give myself the speech about sunk costs and letting go.
I hope this helps.
messymimi
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Post by mrsmess on May 27, 2010 20:08:47 GMT -5
One of my thought traps that I had/have is that an object or a collection might be valuable -- getting things like coin sets or commemorative this or that thinking someday I could make money from it. I have to say this is a thought that I now am almost cured of after facing hard times and having to sell a lot of things for way less than I paid I learned the hard way that *stuff* is not a good investment -- we see this on the hoarding shows all the time anything from scrap metal, beanie babies to collector plates and coins, and antique this and that. Thank goodness I'm getting rid of that belief/thought = that stuff is valuable and I should get and keep it so I can make money from it. Oh this is so me! I still remember my father's words ringing in my ears...."this will be worth a mint one day"....he was always holding up some item and proclaiming it's potential for future riches and obviously it had a big impact on me, because I am fighting that urge almost daily to not throw something in case I can sell it, to not buy those amazing retro knick knacks I see in op shops, or to get too many designer clothes on sale because "I can always sell them".....which I don't end up bothering to do... |
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Post by mrsmess on May 27, 2010 20:11:40 GMT -5
Interesting thread! Coming to the realization that other people just don't see things like I do. That has been a biggie. Realizing that other people just know when and how to clean. I have to schedule and write it down! The 2nd nature of cleaning is not something I possess. I am learning it. But it still surprises me when I hear someone speaking of cleaning something I have never even thought of! For example I had no idea until several years ago that the top of my electric stove lifted up. I just cleaned under the burners the best I could. Is this something everyone knows?! No I didn't know...this also reminds me of myself. My mother was definitely not into cleaning so I do attribute it to that, I never saw any cleaning going on, to learn from example. I really have to keep pushing myself to clean things, because otherwise I will clean it and then think OK that's done, over with...and forget that it might actually need cleaning again the following week! |
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Post by justplucky on May 28, 2010 14:38:48 GMT -5
But it still surprises me when I hear someone speaking of cleaning something I have never even thought of! For example I had no idea until several years ago that the top of my electric stove lifted up. I just cleaned under the burners the best I could. Is this something everyone knows?! The top of an electric stove lifts up? Holy moly! *runs off to try and clean her stove* Okay, back. I also have to frequently give myself the sunk-cost speech. Just because I paid a certain a value for something doesn't mean it's valuable. I also have the estimating-way-beyond-my-needs issue. I'm tackling my tupperware-type containers now and trying to reduce the stash to ones I actually use. I am having moderate success by pulling from my main stash, using the container, and relocating it to another spot once I'm done. When looking for a container I look in the new spot first. I'm only actually using like 6 of my tupperware containers. |
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