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Post by Script on Jun 7, 2010 11:53:30 GMT -5
the story so far: over the last 5++ years, after I retired, and since I came into some 'family money', we have done some major repairs, replacements, renovations in our [formerly] shabby old dump of a mid-town home. Our general contractor, Richard {aka Mr Hunk} has been mostly in charge, but also we use other tradespeople from the italian social club to which my DearHubby belongs.
The flat roof over our dining-sitting room absolutely MUST be repaired or replaced. This is NO LONGER a negotiable. My DH is 72+ years old. He goes up on the roof every time it snows to shovel off any accumulation. One of the ceiling beams cracked and was replaced some years ago. This beam has already been compromised [weight from roof? rotten joists?]. I cannot and will not live here for another winter of terror [heart in mouth dept] when DH is clattering up on the roof in storms etc.
Part of the roof job: a terrifyingly-expensive-time-consuming-dust-creating marathon undertaking: will include at least one disposal bin. One of our neighbours has asked if she can off-load a lot of trash and give-aways and packaging into our bin. We are on friendly terms with the family. BUT I DON"T WANT TO DO THIS.
During our garden work last summer, we had TWO bins, rented STRICTLY FOR ORGANICS: grass, plants. She wanted to off-load again: Mr. Hunk and gang said NO.
Because the roofing job will NOT just be 'strictly organics' we can't use that as an excuse.
I don't care about the money. But there is something in me that doesn't want to accomodate her. I have dropped hints about charity pick-ups, GoodWill locations. My DH has told her: "just put all the stuff out at the curb with a sign that says FREE and it will go".
I am also afraid that if people see HER carrying stuff across the street, we will then become FAIR GAME to other off-loaders--I understand this is a problem. Also, if people see her bringing stuff that is not OBVIOUSLY TRASH, we may end up with dumpster divers.
I am afraid that I will somehow get 'talked into' helping her. This happened once before with another neighbour, who talked me into taking all her late father's clothes, for a downtown refugee church. It was overwhelming, and I ended up paying MY BROTHER to do it for me.
thank you for letting me vent here. any advice appreciated.
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Post by zen on Jun 7, 2010 12:11:08 GMT -5
I would just be deadly clear with said moochy neighbor that the container is reserved for filling with contractor/renovation debris period - those aren't cheap.
No waffling. No being nice. Just a clear and firm no should send the message that her request is inappropriate. You shouldn't have to explain this.
People are amazing - she sounds like she needs to be a bit more proactive with the management of her own junk and not piggyback onto others - especially when those containers cost money.
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Post by mouseanne on Jun 7, 2010 12:23:36 GMT -5
(Script... thinking) hmmmm.. mmmk... it's $300, so I will allow you 1/4 of it and your share is $75.00 and watch her run like a scared rabbit....  |
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lotus*blossom
New Member
...emerging from the muck
Joined: April 2010
Posts: 78
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Post by lotus*blossom on Jun 7, 2010 14:55:31 GMT -5
I like Zen's idea, only I would have Mr. Hunk be the one to tell her NO.
Or, if you want to avoid a flat-out No, but still be able to avoid the potential can of worms, tell her she'll need to wait until the job is completely finished to be sure it won't overflow, then just let Mr. Hunk take the bin away after the job is done, while forgetting about Mrs. Mooch.
I think your concerns are quite valid about others using it nilly-willy, and the dumpster-diver attraction of it if it's not just construction refuse.
Meanwhile... off the topic, you had responded to my first post here on the boards, and I want to say thank you for the nice welcome.
I have appreciated your posts here, and at SS, while I was lurking and absorbing everything!
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Jun 7, 2010 16:09:51 GMT -5
I agree with Zen. A flat-out 'no,' whether it comes from you or Mr. Hunk, is the only appropriate response. It's been my unfortunate experience that when people "volunteer" their usage of something that's not theirs, that usage is usually taken to an extreme. What if your neighbor off-loads so much trash and so many other items into your bin that there's not enough room left for the construction debris from your roofing job? Unfortunately, telling this moochy maven that she needs to wait until the job is finished (she won't wait) or that she needs to pony up part of the money (she could fill up the entire bin on the premise that she "paid" for it) won't work. What it really comes down to is the question of what's more important--your neighbor's feelings or your husband's health and safety? If you think it will diffuse any hard feelings, ask Mr. Hunk to tell her she won't be able to use the bin. (People like her get on my very last nerve. With friends like that, who needs enemies? :  |
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Post by StuffNoMore on Jun 7, 2010 16:51:19 GMT -5
I don't blame you for not wanting to share your bin. I would give her the name and number so she could rent her own. I had a neighbor who once asked if they could have the mulch that was in my driveway. My landscaper had to quit early and left it there for when he came back. The neighbor said it in a way as though she was doing me a favor by removing it from my driveway! People like them really get on my nerves!  SNM |
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Post by AnnieOkie on Jun 7, 2010 16:58:46 GMT -5
(Script... thinking) hmmmm.. mmmk... it's $300, so I will allow you 1/4 of it and your share is $75.00 and watch her run like a scared rabbit.... Yep!  Seriously though.....the NERVE of some people! Don't stress over it and use the above tactic (seriously) or JUST SAY NO!! |
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Post by dtesposito on Jun 7, 2010 17:09:29 GMT -5
I would tell her that your construction person said your debris would fill the entire container, but that you would give her the information so she could order her own. Then when she says she doesn't have enough to fill a whole container, you can suggest she offer the extra space for free to all of her other neighbors to throw their stuff away.
Diane
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Post by JoyInAction on Jun 7, 2010 17:13:24 GMT -5
I agree with dd. If she thinks she's paying you for 1/4, she'll use 3/4. Tell her your contractor estimates 100% of the dumpster will be needed for construction debris. In fact, it probably will be. And that you cannot afford to pay for another one when she and your other neighbors start filling it up with their stuff.
When the job is completed, and if there is still room in the dumpster, you MAY choose to let her toss a few things in there, provided nothing sticks up over the top edge. But don't tell her that until and unless you are in a position to allow it.
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Jun 7, 2010 19:59:27 GMT -5
First of all, I completely endorse your not wanting to share your bin. You're paying for it, and you don't have to share it if you don't want to. Some polite but effective refusals include "We decided to not share the bin with anyone, because we want to make sure that we have enough space for ALL our debris," "I'm sorry, but we can't," and "We have our own stuff to discard if there's any extra space--would you want to split the cost on another bin with us?"
Has this neighbor ever offered to share something with you? If so, that would imply that she's not a mooch, just someone with a different comfort level than yours. I've lent my electric pole saw to a neighbor who returned it in better shape than when he received it. I have also checked with neighbors before renting a stump grinder, to see if they want to "go halvsies," and sprayed the weeds in the cracks in the pavement, or with permission, my neighbors' yards.
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Post by blossoming on Jun 7, 2010 20:00:47 GMT -5
i think she would run at the mention of money. you could even be HAPPY sh'es asking you. OH GREAT. it'll make it easier for us to afford it now.  . she would probably say oh i guess we don't need it that much. but maybe not. who knows. it makes me laugh though at acting like you'd LIKE to share it with her. |
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Post by blossoming on Jun 7, 2010 20:01:46 GMT -5
ps i just wanna say script is a super generous, very kind person. so if she doesn't wanna share with this gal.. ...that says a lot to me right there.  |
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611 
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Post by MiSC on Jun 7, 2010 20:04:10 GMT -5
(Script... thinking) hmmmm.. mmmk... it's $300, so I will allow you 1/4 of it and your share is $75.00 and watch her run like a scared rabbit.... Yep! Seriously though.....the NERVE of some people! Don't stress over it and use the above tactic (seriously) or JUST SAY NO!! In total agreement. But make it more expensive for your trouble. $100. |
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Post by messymimi on Jun 7, 2010 20:10:47 GMT -5
"I'm so sorry, our contractor believes he will be using the entire bin for the construction debris. He is concerned that if I allow one neighbor to start using the bin, others will ask to do so also, and there just will not be enough room. I told him I would let you know, and that I knew you would understand."
Or let him deliver a similar message.
messymimi
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Post by Fivecat on Jun 7, 2010 20:14:51 GMT -5
I'm thinking along misc's lines, but a little higher priced. I'd tell her if she wants to split the cost, then you'll be glad to go in halves with her. If she takes you up on it, that's to your benefit. If she doesn't, which, like misc, I suspect she won't (sounds like a freeloader to me), she won't ever bother you again about it. It's a good/diplomatic way to keep peace between you without having to be outright rude. In other words, it puts it on her rather than you. Fivecat
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