|
Post by artsygal on May 24, 2008 10:01:35 GMT -5
I should be at the airport right now, obviously I'm not. Yesterday I was running errands and taking care of last minute details. I called my electric company to set up a automatic bill pay so I wouldn't miss a payment while I was out of state. They informed me that the had made a complaint of unsanitary and dangerous conditions in my basement. my basement only has my washer and dryer, which I haven't used for years, but the drain in the floor is backed up and the water doesn't work down there. It has old cat boxes and cat feces that are over 2 yrs(I haven't let my cats down there either), and moldy. Of course I freaked out felt huge shame, anxiety and fear. I told my mom what was going on(She's 70 and a psychiatric nurse still working), so she suggested I delay my flight until the end of next week. My heart sank and my guilt was off the charts because her surgery is this Tues.. She reassured me that it was okay that I was coming later since her best friend, my uncle and coworkers are there for here while she'd in the hospital and she needs me more when she's out. She suggested that I find a professional service to clean the basement. It really is to unsanitary health wise for anyone to tackle it unless you know what you're doing. I started looking in the yellow pages but all I could find was either flood damage or junk haulers. By this time I'm bawling . Did an internet search and found on this website of a company that cleans anything and low and behold the first pictures I see are pictures of before and after of major squalor, I knew this was the place to contact!!! By now it's late afternoon and knowing it's a holiday weekend, the best I was hoping for was mid week at best. I called and talked to the owner was 100% honest about the situation and my shame. He replied that's why we're here. We've seen it all and are not here to judge. Basically he was extremely compassionate and said he could make it so clean I could eat off of the floor after it is done ( i think I'll pass ). Plus on top of that they could be here early this morning.So I'm here waiting for there arrival and feel surprisingly relieved. I have looked for someone to tackle my level three basement on and off for years. **** they just arrived and they've seen it**** They're are repeatedly telling me to stop apologizing and telling me "its no big deal" I suppose this is there job. Even though my mom has stressed that it's okay and that when she's in the hospital she's being taking care of, but once at home she needs me. I still have the fear that I won't be there and something bad will happen to her, because of my consequences do to squalor. I know this has been a blessing in disguise and that I can really learn and grow from this experience. I can learn that by maintaining things I won't have to have these consequences anymore I will be working on my kitchen while they are doing this. I really like the idea of the Memorial day dedication. This is for my father, sister, and brother who have passed on, I believe they are angels who are are guiding me in the right path God bless you all and this place. I will keep you posted. -best artsy
|
|
|
Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on May 24, 2008 10:30:54 GMT -5
Artsy gal,
Sending you BIG HUGS !
-- Lioness
|
|
|
Post by skitter on May 24, 2008 10:34:38 GMT -5
I'm so glad things worked out for you, Artsygirl. By taking care of your basement, you will be opening up your whole home, with no dark scary corners anymore! Best wishes to you and to your most wise and caring mother!
Cheers, skitter
|
|
|
Post by hypatia on May 24, 2008 10:37:53 GMT -5
*hugs* Sometimes it seems that one of the worst parts of squalor is having someone else find out about it. Kudos to you for finding a professional to deal with the basement, though! Soon they'll be done, and your basement will be free of moldy cat poop. Deep breaths, it will all be over soon. While you're working in your kitchen, make sure you take the time to relax with a cup of coffee or tea or whatever your beverage of choice is. Soon you'll be on your way to help your mom, and this won't be hanging over your head any more.
|
|
|
Post by metamorpha on May 24, 2008 10:54:12 GMT -5
(((artsy))) Having other people call you on your junk is always tough (regardless of whether it's in the literal sense or not!) I'm so glad you found a company to help. Good luck getting to see your mom. I hope her surgery goes well.
|
|
|
Post by artsygal on May 24, 2008 10:58:26 GMT -5
Thank you lioness, skitter hypatia and meta. That all means soooo much. I actually began to cry because I feel so emotional in every way. Positive and negative. I'm making a cup of coffee right now! I feel ashamed because the neighbors are gawking a little bit, but that has nothing to do for me. Hopefully I'll have my washing machine's water supply back. I bought a front loader and used it for only 6 months. The only chore that I do love doing is laundry and I haven't been able to do that!!! Thanks for the ongoing support, I need it! artsy
|
|
|
Post by heylady1 on May 24, 2008 11:21:48 GMT -5
I think you are incredibly brave!! How scary that must have been but oh how wonderful to have it all done with....you won't have to even think about it anymore!! Hmmm....I think the relief outweighs the scary part... Thanks for posting this because you are teaching me about getting past the scary bits!!! Edited to add: I hope your Mom's surgery goes well and that you will be in great spirits when you go to help her!! She's right about needing the at home help too!
|
|
|
Post by Script on May 24, 2008 11:50:10 GMT -5
She reassured me that it was okay that I was coming later since her best friend, my uncle and coworkers are there for here while she'd in the hospital and she needs me more when she's out. Dear Artsy: I know what MY MOM would say in this situation: "Dear, I will be ok. I am more worried for you. I will feel SO MUCH BETTER knowing that you are ok. I will never stop being your mother. Stop crying now. When I come out of the surgery, the last thing I need is lots of company, and your uncle needs me to need him. So it is great for him to be there. BUT I will really love your help when you get here. I want you to call me me right away and tell me what a good job this service is doing. And don't forget, I will never stop being your mother." I am crying as I type this: my mom is 82, a cancer survivor, walks with 2 canes: and she will be THERE FOR ME at my music performance this afternoon. She has been coming to my recitals for OVER 55 years! I am not kidding. "That's what mothers are for." Luv from Script ps: to ALL who read this: there are services EVERYWHERE that will do this awful cleaning work. Please, if you have ANY hidden desire to do as Artsy did, don't be shy. PEOPLE NEED YOUR BUSINESS!
|
|
|
Post by pegasus48 on May 24, 2008 12:50:27 GMT -5
Artsy, things are going to turn out all for the better. You will be with your mom when she needs you the most, and you will have eliminated a huge squalor burden in the meantime. Without that burden you will have more energy to share with your mom. WTG on getting someone in to take care of the problem. You took the hardest step and came out a winner!!
|
|
|
Post by artsygal on May 24, 2008 13:59:59 GMT -5
Thank you heylady, mzaucontraire, script, and peguasus.
For your hugs and encouragement and the well wishes for my mom. Script thank you for sharing the wisdom you've gained from your mother, I hope you have a wonderful recital! My mom as taught me that if you can find help use it, I just haven't been, until finding this group and knowing I'm not alone. Thank you all.
They are still here, it's been 5 hours, with 4 people! I never could have finished it without seriously hurting myself, like script said get help if you need it. They have finished hauling out the nastiness and are now sanitizing. A gift that they are giving me on top of all of this is that they're laughing and playing music. It makes me feel not guilty and less ashamed.
keep you all posted! artsy
|
|
|
Post by BDG on May 24, 2008 14:07:30 GMT -5
It takes courage to do what you are doing, you took the bull by the horns, so to speak and you are taking care of the situation during trying times. WTG
Wow it is going to make a huge difference, to have a basement you can use. Make sure to take the time to figure out what got you to this point, are going to be able to get the plumbing fixed? Since you enjoy doing the laundry, create a wonderful laundry room down there, put shelves down there so that you don't have to put things on the floor, in case there ever is a problem again.
Look into an easy system for emptying the cat litter box if you still have cats. There is one that is a series of pans and screens my daughter was just talking about the other day that makes her husband's life easier, since she refuses to empty the litter box. No scooping just lift and sift and it is reasonably priced according to her, I hope someone here will know what it is and can list it, please, TIA.
This whole clean up is going to make your life so much easier, a place to store your things, I am envious, I finally designated the smallest bedroom for storage, but it is not big enough so the thought of having a whole basement for storage and a laundry room is wonderful to me.
It is so great that you are going to be able to be there to care for your Mom after she gets out of the hospital, she will need you the most then. Hope you have a safe and wonderful trip. I hope everything goes well with your Mom's surgery and recovery. Good Luck!
|
|
|
Post by artsygal on May 24, 2008 18:56:53 GMT -5
Thanks for the maintaing advice BDG! I have come to realize that maintenance is key. It's almost 7 pm here and they just left! They have been here for 10hrs! I have access to my washer and dryer, everything is sanitized and everything is hauled out, I never did use the basement for storage, except for paint /tools garage stuff , as it has always been a damp basement. I'm so exhausted because I only got 3 hrs of sleep (was worrying). So I'm off to nap and then I'll do a load of laundry and relax.
Thank you all for your support and help, I couldn't have done this without you!!!!! Much gratitude to everyone!!! Artsy
|
|
|
Post by drivermom on May 24, 2008 20:54:02 GMT -5
Artsy, I know how you feel, a couple of years ago some people from my church came over and helped me clean at my worst squalor. It is very humbling and heartbreaking in a way to let people see how you lived. After they left, I felt so relieved. I'm sure you do too. You did do a brave thing! You have a new beginning. Take a deep breath, relax a bit, enjoy your coffee. You deserve it. Hope all goes well with your mom. I love what Script wrote, isn't that a mother. No matter how old we are, we are still their kids. I know my kids will always be my kids.
|
|
|
Post by artsygal on May 25, 2008 14:18:30 GMT -5
Thanks krazykatlady and drivermom! Drivermom I too had a good friend and her friend 2 weeks ago help me with all my garbage in my house too. But after the initial humility went away I felt so much better and found this site through them. Krazykatlady, I found the place I used by many failed searches then- garbage removal + the city I'm in- worked. The owner was here yesterday and asked him how I found them and I then asked him where exactly he is listed in the yellow pages, it's under janitorial services. I noticed on his broucher and website some key phrases that might help as well with your city/county added and key is residential (some places just deal with commercial) they are: - There is nothing we will not clean - cleaning and sanitizing residential - no job is too large or small - clean floors, walls stairwells, attics, basements, garages - let us do you dirty work - rubbish removal Just make sure they are insured, good luck! I feel so much better know that my basement is clean and sanitized, and metaphorical as well. If I don't have a solid foundation how could I ever build anything good on top of that? I have had the rest of the house presentable before but always that unsanitary basement was on my mind as if I could just feel it, or when the furnace is on the circulation of the air, it just made my whole house feel dirty. I literally was always on top of crap and now I'm not! I keep going down to the basement after they left and smiled, it's a 100+ year old house, so the basement is "old" but I was even having fun looking at the history of it, old porcelain fixtures, where a utility shower was, etc. I then did my first load of laundry in my home again and enjoyed my front loading washing machine which I saved up to buy 2+ yrs ago. I then took a long bath (this house has the old claw foot tub too!) with sea salts and bubbles. Then dried my self with a clean towel and put on clean pj's. I felt clean on the outside, in my house and most important clean on the inside. Before I felt dirty inside and out, it feels great to begin this journey...... thanks again for the well wishes and support. I'm physically exhausted from my adrenaline all over the place and lack of sleep, but I can just take care of myself today and be at peace. artsy
|
|
moineau
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 57
|
Post by moineau on May 26, 2008 12:03:02 GMT -5
WELL DONE for taking such a brave step. I can only imagine the relief you must be feeling. I am sure your situation and the brave way you handled it will be a great help, motivator and comfort to others. thanks for posting about this.
May you enjoy your basement and your laundry chores!
Best wishes to your Mother for a quick recovery after her surgery.
Moineau
|
|