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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jul 25, 2010 23:30:54 GMT -5
Dear friends, I realize that many of us want to donate, recycle, or sell "perfectly good" items ... Some even want to do swaps/exchanges to trade in our old stuff for other people's old stuff. But ... most of us don't have the SPACE, time, and energy ... to keep and sort and organize items to donate or sell or recycle. If you are clearing out ... you are hereby given PERMISSION to THROW AWAY everything into the TRASH. Throw away even the good stuff. If it's crowding your life, it's not "good". You have amnesty from any obligation to donate or recycle or sell. You can just Throw. It. Away. In. The. Trash. Really! You can. And ... most of us MUST do that eventually. We find that donating is not just not feasible. Someday, AFTER our homes are unhoarded and desqualored, when we've got a CLEAN and CLEAR home, and have HABITS of daily cleaning .... maybe THEN ... we can set up one box in a closet to put donation items into, and then bring it immeditately to a donations center when it's full. Unpollute your home first. Once you gotten your home unpolluted and can keep it clean over a period of time ... then you can think about unpolluting the Earth. You cannot effectively unpollute a planet ... when living in a home polluted by too much stuff. Confused by what I'm saying? Read the following threads. They are very powerful. Amnesty from obligation to "properly" dispose of stufftakeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/4090Releasing guilt from not having time/energy to sell stuff (includes info about "Sunk Costs")takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/18634Description of one person's thought-process as she decided to give herself amnesty about an item:takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/18563Amnesty from obligation to donate clothingtakeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/8365Learning to ignore unreasonable expectations regarding how donations should be done (includes "Don't J.A.D.E.")takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/17528Releasing guilt about wastefulnesstakeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/9296Breaking the so-called "rules" for getting rid of stufftakeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/5847Pantry/Fridge amnesty ... Letting go of foods you dislike, whether they're old or new:takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/4958Freedom from any obligation to keep unwanted giftstakeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/4143"Request Amnesty Here" with the SOS Fairy Godmother waving her Magic Wand of Amnesty and giving official permission to all those in need:takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/9237/?scrollTo=122165&page=1(Entire thread is three pages long. The certification from Fairy Godmother was written by "Evelyn", and it is on page one of the thread, at approximately the 12th reply.)
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Post by moggyfan on Jul 25, 2010 23:42:01 GMT -5
I want to attest to the wisdom of the above. During the Great Desqualoring, I could never have recycled/donated/Freecycled or craigslisted my acres of stuff. If I had tried, I would never have gotten it done.
Now, however, and for the past four-and-a-half years, I have been able to recycle, donate, etc. in exactly the way Lioness describes. My recycling goes out as soon as it is full, and if I decide to donate stuff, it goes to the donation site that very day. It does not take up permanent residence in my hallway or closet.
I figure I've more than made up for the stuff I just trashed during the worst of The Main Event. I now properly dispose of batteries & leftover paint, even those weird spirally light bulbs. But that's only because I gave myself amnesty when I really had to.
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Post by usedtobeneat on Jul 25, 2010 23:52:27 GMT -5
I agree with this so very much. I know people whose houses are full of things that they are planning on taking to the recycle place in Birmingham, or bags of clothes they want to take to that church place when they start accepting donations, or furniture that they want to find someone to take off their hands, but they don't get around to it and in the mean time their houses are piled up with the stuff. They seem to feel that they are doing good for someone or the environment by doing this, and yes it is a good idea, but the small amount that they have clogging up their home isn't going to be enough to really make that much difference in the whole big scheme of things.
We don't have any kind of recycling program down here, it all goes in the garbage can. I know people who keep big garbage bags of different types of garbage in their house to drive to Birmingham once a month or once every two months to take it to the place. That's a lot of garbage bags and a lot of room they could use for something else. One guy doesn't have a truck and has so much stuff that it won't fit in his car, so he has to wait until he can borrow a truck or get a ride from somebody. That's a whole lot of garbage just sitting around waiting. He won't drive up there weekly, when the bags will fit in his car because he doesn't want to use that much gas. Not because he doesn't want to spend that much on gas, but because he doesn't want to use that much gas and pollute the air with it. Now, I understand where he's coming from, but having all that stuff piled inside his house has got to be taking its toll on him some way or other. It's in the house, not on the back porch or in the yard. I think if he put the energy he uses into saving and sorting etc, all his recyclables (and his friends and neighbors stuff too) into starting an actual recycling program through the school or the city or something, he could make much more of an impact.
Mary
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Post by yearning4order on Jul 26, 2010 0:00:20 GMT -5
Thank you Lioness. I remember you all telling me that my house didn't have to be the garbage dump for the world while I was trying to find of the way to properly dispose of everything.
When I first desqualored there was absolutely no recycling. At all. For months. And then first just a few things. And then finally we got into the swing of things.
The move has been just as disorienting, and we are in the early phases where we don't have space to recycle anything but cardboard (from boxes).
Additionally, I've spent far too much time with the delusion that I'm either going to sell something or hold onto it until friend B says they are coming to get it because they want it.
Right now there is someone who wanted the boxes from our move. He came and got one load. Then nothing--I called and said, "Hey the biggest stack has been put out right now, including our neighbor's professional move boxes are here." No call back. So they were recycled pretty mercilessly.
That friend called yesterday asking for boxes. I told him what was left and where they were. He didn't show up. I gave some of the highest quality boxes to a good friend. The rest went into recycling.
Sometimes people aren't actually meant for "my stuff". Someplace I posted a story about this, about how sticking to the rule of thumb that people who really want/need my things show up asap to get them showed me that there was more than enough to go around. But also that I really didn't have the right idea about who should have "my stuff", and when I let circumstance take over amazingly the best possible items ended up in the right household. Everything else went to Goodwill--and that's probably as it should be.
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Post by success19 on Jul 26, 2010 0:10:58 GMT -5
I concur - it isn't worth the time and gas money for me to take stuff to charity - like the ton of books I tossed out or some clothes I threw away. I have some things I want to try to take to a pawn shop - tools and such and feel embarassed I even have them. But they might bring in a few dollars to buy a tank of gas. I have been consolidating photos as much as possible - took them off walls - toss old faded scratched frames - put them in album. I can not keep or store all this stuff.
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Post by ClutterBlind on Jul 26, 2010 0:35:52 GMT -5
I think we need an official Amnesty Certificate or Amnesty Badge people can print out and hang somewhere to remind them that they have "official" amnesty. I've been reading the forum off & on for months. Reading about and being given Amnesty made such a difference. I used to think my problem might be worse. But, it was actually guilt about not being able to take the time to bring all my stuff to Goodwill or where ever, that was keeping it all in place. Once I gave myself Amnesty, it has been so much easier to toss out stuff. But, those first few bags were really tough. I had to keep reminding myself, "I have Amnesty." 
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Post by clutterfree on Jul 26, 2010 1:34:15 GMT -5
Charity most definitely starts at home!
Having thrown away TONS of stuff when I cleared out, I found it's much easier now to gather something up and take it to the Salvation Army or wherever now that the house is in order. So even though I tossed a lot of stuff that other people might have donated, I'm more able to give now than ever before.
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Post by Rory on Jul 26, 2010 3:57:44 GMT -5
'to THROW AWAY everything into the TRASH'
In many places in the UK we are not allowed to do this. Many local authorities insist that rubbish is sorted and put into different containers before they will take it away. Some local authorities have gone through people's rubbish and fined people who put things in the wrong bag.
That said it is not difficult where I live in London to get rid of stuff. The local authority takes away most stuff as rubbish or recycling and there are local bins for clothing, books, and glass. The local bins are, I think, a good idea as the process is impersonal and when the Spirit moves me to get rid of things then the bins are always open whereas charity shops are not. Where I live we also put things, which might be useful, out on the pavement for people to help themselves. This is illegal but effective and if they are not taken the local authority takes them away.
There was a useful post, which I can't find, where the SOS Fairy Godmother gives Amnesty. This I have printed out and keep to hand when I feel a bit weak.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jul 26, 2010 7:30:11 GMT -5
There was a useful post, which I can't find, where the SOS Fairy Godmother gives Amnesty. This I have printed out and keep to hand when I feel a bit weak. Found it! I've now added it to the list of amnesty threads inside the first post on the thread you're reading right now. The certificate from the fairy godmother was written by Evelyn, and it's on approximately the 12th reply, on the first page of the "Request Amnesty Here" thread. Direct link: takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=general&thread=9237&page=1#122165--
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Post by kiddledo on Jul 26, 2010 8:13:28 GMT -5
Dear Friends I am invoking my amnesty rights to throw away today...this is my day to make my kitchen my kitchen, full of things I use not what I might use. My pantry will hold food I like to cook, not what I might cook..my kitchen's someday is today... thanks for the amnesty..I will use it proudly
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Post by Rory on Jul 26, 2010 8:18:00 GMT -5
Thank you CLSS
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Deleted
Joined: January 1970
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2010 9:26:39 GMT -5
Yea for amnesty!!
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Post by messymimi on Jul 26, 2010 9:57:16 GMT -5
Amen and Amen!
Where I live, we are given a wheeled bin for recycling, and the donation places routinely send out postcards telling us when they will come through our neighborhood to collect whatever we leave out for them, but I understand that I am one of the blessed few who have these two things made so easy for me.
That is why I agree that you cannot save the planet from more stuff going in the landfill by turning your own home into an extension of the dump.
Get it gone, however you need to, then worry about donating and recycling.
messymimi
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Post by Chris on Jul 26, 2010 10:09:10 GMT -5
Amnesty was what finally got me and my husband out of squalor to the point where now we can manage our things the way we want to. We threw out a lot of stuff and it took us over a year before we then moved into the phase we're at now where we can sell, donate, recycle the way we want. [and we still toss stuff when it is the easiest logical way to clear it out] And if we didn't have the time or health to do that now we would know we will claim amnesty again. It does take time to get rid of things any other way and we only sell, donate, recycle now because of the fact that we have plenty of time and now space to do it and our home is functioning (every room) and organized so much better.
Yep, amnesty is important use it anytime you need to. And it leads you to more choices in how to deal with stuff once you are "dug out". It helped us ever so much!
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Jul 26, 2010 10:24:24 GMT -5
I did it on my last move! I got rid of almost everything that I own, and I felt guilty while doing it, but it is such a huge relief to be nearly possession free! Now I rent a furnished room, and all I own is a bookshelf my father made, guitars and keyboards, one or two hundred books, about one hundred pieces of clothing each for myself and my son and about twenty of his toys. And cellphone, and laptop. That is a long way from owning enough things and furniture to fill a two bedroom house to the brim. The change happened slowly, over the course of three moves in two years.
You dont have to go to my extreme though (but you might decide you want to!) Every bit of useless, life depleting junk you get rid of makes breathing easier, one piece at a time.
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