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Post by hopefulnic on May 26, 2008 9:31:05 GMT -5
Hi, My name is Nichole. My husband , Jason and I have been married a little over 14 years. He recently left because he said he can no longer live in our cluttered home. We have 2 beautiful children, which are the reason I get up each day. I am definately overwhelmed with my house and life in general right now, and long to make my messy house a home. I started researching on the internet because my husband has told me for years I am crazy and mentally ill and if that is truly the case I want HELP! I feel blessed that I have found this board and look forward to getting to know each of you and begin my journey here.
Nichole
hopefulnic
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moineau
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 57 
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Post by moineau on May 26, 2008 9:36:53 GMT -5
Hi Nichole, Nice to meet you.  ) Moineau |
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Post by hopefulnic on May 26, 2008 9:42:17 GMT -5
Nice to meet you too, Moineau!
Nichole
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Post by pegasus48 on May 26, 2008 16:12:42 GMT -5
Welcome aboard, Nichole! You will find a lot of support here. Being "domestically challenged" doesn't mean you are crazy. It does mean you don't have a plan that works right now. At this site, you will get lots of ideas on how to do things and/or how to think about things to get them done. I think you will enjoy the group, and I look forward to getting to know you.  |
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Post by Script on May 26, 2008 16:31:42 GMT -5
my husband has told me for years I am crazy and mentally ill I am mentally ill too. I have long-standing moderate depression, with anxiety thrown in to keep things interesting. I have had severe suicidal ideation. I have had free-floating rage leading me to scream at my beloved sister & brother on the street. I don't call myself crazy. Maybe some people would. Actually, most people call me adventurous, brilliant, creative, dutiful, energetic, funny, gracious, high-spirited, imaginative and so on (through an alphabet soup of adjectives including jealous, klutzy, and zealous). Maybe you are mentally ill: please know that medications have helped me more than I could ever express (Celexa). I don't know anything OCD hoarding, but I know that there are lots of people here with varying degrees of depressions. YOU ARE NOT ALONE> |
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Post by Rennie Ellen on May 26, 2008 16:54:20 GMT -5
Hopefulnic,
Welcome!
First off, not everyone who has a problem with clutter is mentally ill. My ex-husband said the same thing for years before he left me -- that I was crazy and mentally ill (not because of the clutter --I actually kept a neat home then, but because he didn't want to be saddled with caring for a physically ill wife in the prime of his life).
There are many reasons we deal with clutter. Some of them are because of mental illness, some (like me) are because of physical illness. Some are just because we've never been taught how to organize and maintain a home. And some are because life throws a few curve balls our way and we get overwhelmed. So don't just assume you're mentally ill because your estranged husband says so.
You'll find a lot of good ideas and nice people here. Read the posts and introductions and you will find support, encouragement, and hope.
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Post by neveropentheclosets on May 28, 2008 17:14:33 GMT -5
Hi Nichole,
Glad you found us. I'm sorry about the recent struggles with your husband. My husband and I separated for a time too (unrelated to the messy house.) I hope that everything works out the way that you want it to.
The best thing this board has helped me realize is that baby steps work and squalor can be overcome. I tend to get overwhelmed too, when looking at the entirety of my mess. But by piecing things out, little by little I am making a lot of progress.
notc
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Post by creativechaos on May 30, 2008 11:17:16 GMT -5
hi Nichole and welcome! I could relate to your story; I've never been able to have a long term relationship due to my hoarding/squalor issues. I've had people all my life tell me I'm crazy and whether it's true or not I have been depressed most of my life. but here I feel accepted as I am, and the folks above said it all beautifully. i'm glad you have 2 beautiful children to get up for. This place is the sanest place I know. You'll love it with these great people, and we can all make our lives better, one step at a time.
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nina
New Member
Joined: June 2008
Posts: 8
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Post by nina on Jun 1, 2008 18:40:27 GMT -5
Hi Nichole,
I hope your current family situation has a happy ending. Change is so hard. But sometimes things are better after the change.
I got the same message from my first husband. Even though he had as many issues as I did.
Many years later I am happily married (to a different person). I was brutally honest with my husband about my hoarding while we were dating. To my surprise he stuck by me!
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DG
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 86
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Post by DG on Jun 3, 2008 4:44:19 GMT -5
Hi Nichole,
I'm so sorry things have gone so wrong for you, but well done for looking for a way forward and not just ignoring the hope of finding ways to change things around.
Others often sling the words 'mental illness' at people whose behaviour they can't control or understand, so your husband could be way off track labelling you that.
I've had treatment for post-natal depression, OCD, depression and agrophobia over the years and have never been diagnosed as mentally ill. I owned/ran a home for mentally ill clients at that time and my licence would have been revoked in a flash.
As you are feeling unable to cope do seek help from your doctor.
As a single parent I can understand your children being your motivation right now. My children were all I thought about when I wanted to give in and hide under my duvet. Dealing with one day at a time and not letting anything important that came up slide over to the next day was how I coped.
Looking forward to getting to know you,
DiamondGal.
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