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Post by Ally on Jul 16, 2011 12:27:44 GMT -5
BetsyMarie,
I love your list. I want to print it up and post it somewhere that I will see it and read it often, BUT, I realize I have a problem with that...
Last week I "found" something I was supposed to mail a month and a half ago. I had posted it on a clip I have attached to the door I go out every day on my way to work. I looked right at that door every day for 5 weeks without seeing that envelope!
Thanks for posting this!
WNM
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jul 16, 2011 15:34:07 GMT -5
I love this thread and have bookmarked it.
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Post by Peach on Jul 17, 2011 15:51:22 GMT -5
Definitely a thread to be bookmarked and reread over and over.
A few more variations of oldies but goodies:
~ If you haven't worn an article of clothing in a year, it's time it was sent to a consignment shop, to Goodwill or freecycled. Let someone in need enjoy it while it's still in style and in good condition.
~ If you have clothes piled all over and/or on the floor, you have way too much. Ditto with linens and blankets.
~ Unless you're a frequent dinner party hostess, there's no need to keep 50 mugs, 5 full sets of dishes, utensils, pots & pans, etc. Keep only what you use.
~ Always remember the rule: If not used in 12 months, out it goes. This includes Aunt Martha's heirloom china that hasn't seen the light of day for the past 30 years. (Yes, I did freecycle her lovely china.)
~ Continuously revisit old papers every few years. What was important to keep 10 years ago, might not matter anymore. A good time to review and toss (in the USA) is right after annual income taxes are due (April), when you're in that frame of mind (hopefully).
~ Sometimes it's easier to toss and replace than to go through the physical effort of scrubbing an item down. Item in mind: Kitty litter pans.
~ Ditto with items you usually recycle. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with "doing everything right" that it's just too much. Give yourself a timeout for a few months -- also known as Amnesty.
~ Mental illness is not a crime and it's not your fault. Don't be afraid to ask for help from a medical professional. Many times that is the first step out of hoarding and/or squalor.
~ If keeping up with dirty dishes/utensils is a problem, paper plates, bowls, cups and plastic forks/knives/spoons can fill in the gap. They're inexpensive (I'm not talking about the fancy colored party stuff) and utensils can be rinsed and reused a couple times before tossing.
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Post by xievajohnson on Jul 18, 2011 9:57:58 GMT -5
I just have to say - that is truly, truly awesome. I don't think there is a single one that isn't what I NEED. I'll print it out. Thank you.  |
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Post by def6 on Jul 19, 2011 14:40:07 GMT -5
Love this, thanks Betsymarie!!
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Post by gggal on Jul 19, 2011 21:50:12 GMT -5
Gggal, I've said exactly that many times on this forum and I couldn't agree more! ponygirl, I so got that from you! I have read it on this board many of times and it really put it in a way that helped me! My mom, a science teacher, always used to say, "a body at rest stays at rest, a body in motion stays in motion..." and also that something doesn't happen "by osmosis."  , I am the least science-y person I know, but those two concepts have always stayed with me. (even if I don't always remember to think that way!) |
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Post by ponygirl on Jul 20, 2011 12:10:18 GMT -5
Gggal, I've said exactly that many times on this forum and I couldn't agree more! ponygirl, I so got that from you! I have read it on this board many of times and it really put it in a way that helped me! My mom, a science teacher, always used to say, "a body at rest stays at rest, a body in motion stays in motion..." and also that something doesn't happen "by osmosis." , I am the least science-y person I know, but those two concepts have always stayed with me. (even if I don't always remember to think that way!)  My sweetie says that, too..."...it won't happen by osmosis". Your Mom was right on both counts! About being the world's librarian... My CEO is like that...he's always bringing in clippings, newsletters, brochures, et al and giving them to me to forward to so-and-so. Sheesh. For many years, I've been steering him away from this, but it's something he's always done (well, not actually him...he pawns it off on "underlings" to "do"  ) It's part of his persona and although he's tapered off a bit in recent years, he continues to do it. I do believe that most folks aren't really all that interested in receiving this stuff, either.  -------------------- I just re-read BetseyMarie's list again. What a great list. And what a great thread. I learn something from everyone here, everyday. And if I've heard it before, it definitely bears "re-hearing".  Hugs, Pony |
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Post by BetsyMarie on Jul 20, 2011 15:22:33 GMT -5
Thanks for the kind words everyone. I've re-read it many times over the months, and as mentioned, keep editing and adding to it. It is a work in progress.
This morning I realized that part of what brought me back to decluttering a few weeks ago was that I was beginning to just feel anxious in my own home again. And as soon as I started re-de-cluttering areas that had been clear a few months ago, I started to feel calmer again. The more I do, the less anxious I feel.
I know when I go into a very large store like Walmart with many choices, my senses get over-whelmed and I want to get out of there. Same with parties with lots of people - too much sensory stimulation.
On one of the Hoarding shows, a man had adopted a young boy with some sort of emotional disability, and in his very cluttered home it was much, much worse including violent tantrums. As soon as the home was cleared out, the boy was visibly much more calm.
I don't like any of my basic senses exposed to the extremes. I don't like noise. I don't like strong smells or bad tastes or painful touch. I know I don't like seeing violence, and I guess I also don't respond well when there is too much to look at. And yet for most of my life I have lived in the midst of way too much stuff.... time for that to permanently change. I want my 'nest' to not only be safe, but to be visually peaceful and calm.
Freedom from dissonance.
Hence #25. Open, clean spaces in the home reduce anxiety.
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Post by ClutterBlind on Oct 8, 2011 4:05:36 GMT -5
Great thread.  Don't wait till the 'official dish washing time'.
I suppose this is a variation of the swipe here and there, or the minute here and there, but for me, it's removing distinguishing alotments of time. For me, there was a time to do dishes. A time to declutter. A time to do laundry. Discreet, separate times, not 'play as you go'.
I always gave myself a pass to do anything if it wasn't an 'official cleaning time'. I'll have to train my eyes to see things that need doing, and can be done quickly. This is definitely me. Thanks for pointing out this way of thinking, as it definitely doesn't work for me. That "official cleaning time rarely arrives. I don't like any of my basic senses exposed to the extremes. I don't like noise. I don't like strong smells or bad tastes or painful touch. I know I don't like seeing violence, and I guess I also don't respond well when there is too much to look at. And yet for most of my life I have lived in the midst of way too much stuff.... time for that to permanently change. I want my 'nest' to not only be safe, but to be visually peaceful and calm.
Freedom from dissonance.
Hence #25. Open, clean spaces in the home reduce anxiety. Yes, this is me, too. I get so overstimulated going out. I can't wait to get home. But, my home is so cluttered now, I don't really get to relax. As much as I think I have become blind to all the clutter, it really does affect me. Thanks BetsyMarie. You've given me much to think about. |
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Post by nekomom on Oct 8, 2011 10:18:51 GMT -5
This is an excellent thread. Very eye opening and full of tidbits of wisdom. I've bookmarked it to read again and again. Thank you, Betsymarie!
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Post by Celeste on Oct 9, 2011 10:34:03 GMT -5
Excellent observations! Thanks!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2011 12:32:48 GMT -5
Someone talked about "making it easy":
--I donated all of my clothes that need special treatment. I have a no dry cleaning, no ironing, no hand washing rule here....cuz darlin', it will NOT get done. Making the time to hang things up right out of the dryer means I haven't had to iron in years. Same with mending....my hands are too messed up to do it, so if it's ripped, it's in the garbage.
--dishes that can't be thrown on the dishwasher aren't allowed in my house. Even if it is a fragile dish that should be hand washed, it goes in the dishwasher until it's ruined, and then I throw it out. Fancy china? Give it away. Cut crystal wine glasses? Donated, or put in the dishwasher until they chip or fall apart. Wooden knives, Tupperware, plastic...it ALL goes into the dishwasher. Cuz I don't have the energy to hand wash anything, and my kitchen will turn squalorous waiting for it to happen.
--even if I love something (like an ornate plant stand), if it's difficult to dust or clean or otherwise maintain, out it goes. I'm too tired to clean fussy things. I find a lot of silk flower arrangements and wreaths (which I love) fall under this category, as they're too hard to keep clean.
--keep bed making as simple as possible. I use a heated mattress pad with a fitted sheet over it, then a pretty quilt over that (no top sheet or blanket). In the morning I just smooth out the quilt and I have a beautiful bed. No to extra decorative pillows either....just the two pillows I normally sleep on in a pillow case that coordinates with the quilt. Easy!
--I gave up on outdoor lawn and deck furniture. Not only was it too hard to keep clean, but I was forever hauling cushions in and out, and if I didn't they'd get yucky. No more.
I love this thread....I always learn so much from this place and you are all such an inspiration!
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Post by angelpuss on Oct 9, 2011 18:11:42 GMT -5
I think this is a wonderful thread! Now I am in maintenance, a few things that got me to this place and help keep me here- I followed Peter Walsh's plan - purpose a room and only put things in that serve that purpose. Allocate the space then do not overfill. I got rid of all excess dinner ware, cookware, ornaments. I do not iron - ever. I wash, line dry and hang up straight away - nothing sits around crumpled. I do not handwash -my machine has a handwash setting so that fixes that. I used plastic and paper dinnerware while I decluttered and organized - it allowed me to concentrate on the task instead of contributing to the mess with dirty plates and cutlery. Amnesty!!!I got that from here, and it saved my sanity while clearing out - no guilt! I simplified the bed linen - fitted sheet, no top sheet, just a doona and cover. I wash them weekly and hang the doona out to air. Once a month I wash the doona, it is a polyester fill so goes in the machine ok. Open, cleared areas make it easy to clean. And fast. I enjoy being able to walk around the house without shoes, so the floor needs to be clean - its a good motivator for me to sweep and vacuum. I try to remember - its a marathon, not a sprint. And I deserve a clean, peaceful home.  |
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Post by sidestep on Jan 27, 2012 16:57:14 GMT -5
Bumping this sticky-worthy thread for its collective wisdom & for the
benefit of newbies!
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Post by def6 on Jan 27, 2012 17:22:02 GMT -5
Thank you Dear Betsy Marie for this list of wise words! |
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