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Post by yearning4order on May 27, 2008 10:23:40 GMT -5
Hi All,
I'm still a new baby bird--so far the biggest problem I have encountered is the weekend.
For most of the week I can do ok, ranging from inspired to at least willing to do the items I lay out on my WIT3 list. Friday nights of most weekends my ex comes to pick up my daughter for the weekend, and it seems at that time I lose all my motivation.
I'll spend the rest of the weekend holed up killing time, often not going out to do much of anything, hanging out on the computer, playing games, or watching movies. <sigh> This is very hard to actually "confess" but yes, I honestly do nothing of import on the days when I'm child free and could certainly accomplish the most or at least could even get out for some adult time. I stay up late, and wake up late.
If anyone else struggles with weekend motivation, or has found a way to work with this, please let me know. The level of apathy? sloth? I find myself exercising seems to defy logic and yet I find myself largely powerless to get out of it.
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Post by Admin on May 27, 2008 11:00:43 GMT -5
I struggle hugely with weekends also. Weekends for me, dh is home, and oldest two kiddos are home from school, so routine is thrown off slightly. More people in the house full time equals bigger messes to clean up. i'm not really sure the true reason of it, although i do notice i follow what dh does. if he cleans, i get motivated and clean too. but most weekends, after a busy week at work, he wants to rest. so i rest too. it's horrible to admit, but if he is resting and i am working, i feel like he isin't helping as much and i feel a bit angry. so often times, come monday morning (or tuesday if it is a holiday, like today). i have to take such small babysteps to get the house back into workable condition. i don't get much done beyond basic picking the house back up, catching up on dishes and laundry. long post about nothing. but i feel for you. and you are not alone. i greatly look forward to hearing what other people have to say also!!  |
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Post by DJ on May 27, 2008 19:30:17 GMT -5
weekends can get all weird for me and i tend to either get ALOT done or just about nothing, not even maintenance.. the things that have helped me don't all apply to you since it's alone time for you but-
I wake up a few hours before my boyfriend every morning.. I use it as me time.. and Me time doesn't have to be unproductive. it can just mean puttering around at my own rate slowly and cheerfully doing maintenance. taking the time to light candles as i clean a room and sip a cup of coffee. put out flowers. open windows. not just rushing to get by but drinking my coffee and enjoying the less nasty aspects of home keeping.
Sometimes through out the weekend I'll call a time out and ask that we tidy up if things are getting thrashed from us doing stuff and not picking up after ourselves.
Trying to find a balance between doing nothing. working all weekend on stuff at home. or frantically playing all weekend.
think about what i want out of the weekend and WHY i want it out of the weekend. a todo list with no reason sucks.I clean my home because I want a clean home. I have the stuff in it because I enjoy it. If I don't enjoy it/use it/care enough to maintain it maybe it should go away.. keeping stuff like that in mind...
Stuff like that helps me a lil bit.. dunno how well it'd work for you but my two cents
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janie
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 12
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Post by janie on May 27, 2008 20:45:58 GMT -5
Weekends are the hardest for me, too. With all the kids and hubby at home, I get really distracted and lose focus. Nobody (but me) seems to be bothered by the mess, and it's hard to motivate them to help clean, let alone pick up their own belongings. They just want to rest, relax, play, and have fun on their weekend vacation time... meanwhile, I'm perpetually wanting to "get something done". It is like a torturous "Twilight Zone" episode! So, I usually just give up and give in. And wait for monday to get back in my "routine" (as a sahm)...
janie
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Post by sleepymom on May 28, 2008 0:01:20 GMT -5
Janie, this is me exactly.
On weekends I get to sleep in (usually), so I wake up rested & ready to get some work done, while everyone else just wants to relax and do whatever they want. During the week, I have to get up early to get everyone launched, and since I have fatigue issues, that wears me out for the day- after my nap, its time to pick kids up, nag them about homework, feed everyone, taxi them to activities- I just don`t get much done during the week. I have some semblance of a routine, but its very minimal. I really look forward to weekends but its so hard to stay motivated & on task when everyone else just wants to play games all day. The kids at least I can MAKE them do a bit, but not the spouse.
I am SO glad school is out for us, well, DS has 2 more days of finals. The spouse can get up and take the bus to work most days, so I can get my rest and get some things done. We have some major painting projects planned this summer and some deep cleaning needs to be done, as well as the ongoing decluttering and basic stuff.
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Post by crazycatlady on May 28, 2008 22:40:11 GMT -5
I wonder if part of the reason it is hard to get started on the weekend is because the kids are gone. My two older kids used to go visit their Dad two weekends a month, and most of the summer. A part of me was very relieved to have a break from the kids, and from the additional work involved. But one time I really got to thinking about it, how sometimes it got to where I really didn't miss the kids when they were gone for a short time. I and realized how unnatural that felt to me. Sure, every parent needs a break from their kids sometimes, but having them gone regularly just really stinks somehow!
I fully supported the kids having a relationship with their father, but I also really really would have preferred to see my kids every day, and every holiday! It took some thinking to begin to deal with it.
Anyhow, I just wondered if that might be a part of it....just not feeling quite "right", or quite settled inside with your kids gone. And maybe by taking a few hours the first morning just for you would help. Just go for a walk, or call a friend, or have a nice bubble bath. Just take out that small bit of time for you, to replenish yourself. Then maybe you will feel more ready to join the WITS thread, or do something else?
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