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Post by Unswamping on Jan 15, 2015 10:53:10 GMT -5
I actually have a book, somewhere in that living room titled "thank you for firing me!". I dont even think i read it, i wound up quitting that job and going to work for a company that deserved me. It took a little while, a couple of months but i wound up with a great job at a great company. Looking back, i dont have any regret about quitting, the right job needed me. Angela, im hoping the right job is needing you too.
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Post by Irisheyes on Jan 15, 2015 11:41:17 GMT -5
Oh. My. I don't even know where to start. I kept up with yesterday's posts here, but simply couldn't find words to relate everything I was thinking and feeling for all of you, and about all of my own emotions and trauma stuff. I simply cried every time I came back to read more. Of course, I had to laugh about a lot, too. Y'all are silly goofy crazy nutty funny! Griselda...bwahahahaha!!! cyn - can I come hang out while you clean? I just want to listen to your hilarious monologue as you work, especially if you scold Griselda! Oh, I'll help clean, of course. Just tell me what you want done! View my home as a swamp to explore... yikes! ! Did you really try that, dayeanu ? How did it work out? Landfill party...ummmm...okaaaayy. Sounds... icky, but whatever! When you think about it, who knows what's in the sandbox at the playground? My cats (in my childhood) used to use ours as her outdoor litter box. We just scooped it out and played in it - the sandbox. Eeewwwww.... ;-) Warrior Kimmy, I like your swap and organize idea, except I think it should be teams of us that travel from place to place, and whoever lives there should be there for their own big organizational overhaul. I think there ARE things all of us want to get rid of - we simply need help to do it in such a way that helps us, and no pressure if we can't. Big hugs all around for the sadness, sorrow, anger, nausea, stress, worry...
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Post by cyn on Jan 15, 2015 13:18:58 GMT -5
Irisheyes, I'd *love* to have your company, but I think it's too filled with mouse poop to risk your health, atm. Seriously?! You chose the drawer I keep my important framed photos in, to poop and pee?! You can't chose one of the empty ones?! I hate you! I'm coming back as a cat, and I'm going to spend every waking hour hunting you down! Or a hawk, that's even *more* fun - swooop, you're gone! Maybe I should get a pet snake, huh, and let it slither around in there?! How'd you like that?! Grrrr!
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Post by Irisheyes on Jan 15, 2015 13:41:28 GMT -5
Irisheyes, I'd *love* to have your company, but I think it's too filled with mouse poop to risk your health, atm. Seriously?! You chose the drawer I keep my important framed photos in, to poop and pee?! You can't chose one of the empty ones?! I hate you! I'm coming back as a cat, and I'm going to spend every waking hour hunting you down! Or a hawk, that's even *more* fun - swooop, you're gone! Maybe I should get a pet snake, huh, and let it slither around in there?! How'd you like that?! Grrrr! I'm a country girl, so I know how to safely deal with droppings. No need to fear for my health! ! Having said that, I admit I really despise mice in my house. They've come back here, again. I heard one scritching around several days ago. Traps didn't catch it. Heard two the past couple nights. I saturated the room with cotton balls soaked in peppermint oil, hoping to drive them out. Scritch. Scritch. Okay, time to get serious. I cut approx 2"x4" cards (8 or 10 of them) from the corrugated cardboard base of a flat of bottled water, then folded each in half to make little tents. I soaked the fold of each card in full strength pine cleaner, and positioned those throughout the room and doorway into the adjacent kitchen. I stayed in the room for hours with the lights off. Luckily, this is a fairly large room with a high, semi-peaked ceiling - the pine fumes were intense, even with the peppermint undertones. Not a single scritch. I hope they exited the house through whatever hole they used to enter. Little $#&/#!#*. My anger management skills are highly challenged when mice come inside to mess with me. However, you don't need to worry about your mice risking my mental health, either. ;-) My washer flooded my entire kitchen floor late this morning. Just finished mopping the pool. Waiting on teens to get home to help me move the washer out of its little laundry closet, so I can see what came loose or broke. Sigh....
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Post by cyn on Jan 15, 2015 16:12:57 GMT -5
Aww irisheyes, I'm sorry your washer flooded the kitchen. You have your own "GAAH" on your hands, huh? That sucks. Thanks for the peppermint reminder - I'm using that to cover up the gross smell in there. Yuck.
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Post by Warrior Kimmy on Jan 15, 2015 20:03:27 GMT -5
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Post by dayeanu on Jan 16, 2015 18:56:04 GMT -5
Irisheyes Yes, I really did pretend that my house was a swamp, for a long while. I had noticed that every time I opened the door and stepped inside, I felt weak, became nauseous, and an overwhelming sense of dread swept over me. To counter this, the therapist suggested I try to think of it in other, more pleasant terms. I picked a swamp because they are a rather dense, enclosed type area, overgrown with LOTS OF unusual, usually overgrown vegetation everywhere. There are vines and fallen trees and tree stumps and holes where trees have died and rotted away. You really have to watch your step in a swamp. I'm sure you can draw parallels to my home's condition. Also in a swamp there are all kinds of critters - birds and fish and bunny rabbits and weasels and even mice and reptiles. Again, not terribly unlike my home. However, unlike my home, I love the swamp. It's peaceful and serene, beautiful in an exotic kind of way. It's a place where one can easily hide and be safe, but also there's the element of danger. A place to sit and contemplate, but also a place of adventure, a place to explore and make unique discoveries. Again, not too different from my home. Unlike my home, I love to go in the swamps. So, I thought of my home as a swamp, and it helped to keep the debilitating feelings away. Then I read the book, "Overcoming Compulsive Hoarding", which is the best book I've ever read on the subject. It had a section dedicated to overcoming those "automatic reactions," and it worked. But I still think of my home as a swamp. It's kinda fun.
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Post by Irisheyes on Jan 16, 2015 20:01:57 GMT -5
Thank you for sharing that, dayeanu . I love the way you described it as peaceful, serene, wild, beautiful, full of vegetation and animals, safe yet fraught with some danger. You made me smile. And then, of course, my mind went to both fun and scary images of Jumanji and Jurassic Park in the house. I know exactly what you mean. ;-)
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Post by lostchild on Jan 16, 2015 21:16:41 GMT -5
Today I faced a significant doom room. I cleared my desk and got a solid bag of outdated paper out. I also found the top of my desk. The drawers are still full but you can see the top.The papers need to be shredded next. I found that as bad as I thought my situation was its actually not as bad ad I supposed. If I focus on paying off everyone on schedule I will be back in the black within three months. It will take my state tax refund to pay three creditors and federal my mortgage but I'll be okay. With the extra funds I am going to be getting also I will finally be ahead if everything goes okay in about 6 months.
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Post by Unswamping on Jan 17, 2015 14:14:13 GMT -5
dayeanu i love your swamp story. Yes, i think i picked the right name, this place was on its way to being a swamp when i signed up here. Definitely my old house was. I had birds that flew in down the chimney and wound up in the basement. mice that came in from the garage. All the lovely critters that my cats brought and hide because they learned that i was not happy about their treasures and that i would throw them away. And all the stuff i owned. I got rid of so much stuff. I moved a ton of stuff with me. Then there was stuff i left because i ran out of time, the bank wanted the house. The basement was such a nightmare that i suited up, waded in and took only what i truly wanted. I left the rest, water damaged, moldy, mouse and bird and cat pooped. The bank rented a 30 ft dumpster. I drove by and saw it in tne driveway. I can imagine it was full, i dont know. Im too ashamed to go back there. As disgusting as it was, i always felt like it was home. It was dark and mysterious but also strangely comforting. Like i had made a cocoon out of all my stuff. So i can relate alot to your story. I am so glad too that i am out of that old house. Ive put it in the past where it belongs. Im glad that this new house is getting unswamped. I would like it to be cozy without being cramped. A place where i can feel safe without all the clutter. Clutter cant make it safe, its actually a hazard to me living a healthy happy life.
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Post by Warrior Kimmy on Jan 20, 2015 7:19:21 GMT -5
Today was a breakthrough in my TRAUMA CORNER. The desk top was covered in messy piles of whatever papers so I started sorting, then I just shoved each pile in shopping bags as neat as I could and cleared the whole desk top. This means I can make an attempt doing it in pieces. It was not traumatic at all. A little overwhelming to look at each paper, and decide, which is why I made the call to just bag it up in manageable packages. I have not seen the top of that desk for 7 months. I then wiped it and wiped the dusty chair. Now I just have all the papers and stuff piled up in manageable bagloads in the very back corner. I actually can't wait to get stuck into it now! Yesterday there was no way I could have done it. I threw out a plastic bad and a piece of paper and that was it. My secret has been watching videos on neat freaks and looking at photos of organised homes. Also reading about them. Looking at photos of hoarding kinda did/didn't inspire me...I was so depressed by the hoarders videos actually I slept all day. But now I have a tidy desk and two bags of rubbish and that is a major breakthrough!
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Post by Warrior Kimmy on Jan 20, 2015 7:32:40 GMT -5
lostchild congrats on your desk top being seen.... I did the same and it is nowhere near as bad as we imagine is it? It is just being ready to face it. I think we are at the same stage...making that first move is crucial! I, too, am going to face the music, so to speak...all those unopened bills and forgotten papers. It is actually quite interesting to look at them. Anything too traumatic I just bagged up, but I found my car rego papers, etc. I can't wait to make it workable and start thinking about what to do about my debts. I have some help on that issue, though, so it is all good. I love Dayeanu's swamp story, too. I actually got sore eyes from the dust from all my papers today. I had to leave my swamp and flush my eyes. Swampy your story was sad. But thank the Lord you got out before you were sitting there with the bank putting the key in the door. Very sad to lose a place, but hey it saved you cleaning all that basement out. I was sensationally lucky enough when I moved last to have an owner who told me to leave anything unwanted!!!! They were demolishing. So, a lot of squalor was left in boxes. I also did not have to clean perfectly. Win win situation.
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Post by wit on Jan 20, 2015 8:42:07 GMT -5
Congratulations Kimmy!!! That's wonderful that you go the desktop cleared! I'm sure you will tackle the bags of paper and emerge victorious over them too. One thing to remember about old bills is that all the information is on the most recent one, so once you find that you can trash the rest. This has helped me be less overwhelmed in the past. Gooooo Kimmy!!!
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Post by dayeanu on Jan 20, 2015 9:12:50 GMT -5
Today was a breakthrough in my TRAUMA CORNER. The desk top was covered in messy piles of whatever papers so I started sorting, then I just shoved each pile in shopping bags as neat as I could and cleared the whole desk top. This means I can make an attempt doing it in pieces. It was not traumatic at all. A little overwhelming to look at each paper, and decide, which is why I made the call to just bag it up in manageable packages. I have not seen the top of that desk for 7 months. I then wiped it and wiped the dusty chair. Now I just have all the papers and stuff piled up in manageable bagloads in the very back corner. I actually can't wait to get stuck into it now! Yesterday there was no way I could have done it. I threw out a plastic bad and a piece of paper and that was it. My secret has been watching videos on neat freaks and looking at photos of organised homes. Also reading about them. Looking at photos of hoarding kinda did/didn't inspire me...I was so depressed by the hoarders videos actually I slept all day. But now I have a tidy desk and two bags of rubbish and that is a major breakthrough! Whoo-Hooo! Doing a happy dance for you!!!!!! What a brilliant idea to tackle it by bagging up into manageable sacks. AND it looks neat and orderly while awaiting it's turn to be sorted! BRILLIANT! (......rummages for bags)
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Post by dayeanu on Jan 20, 2015 9:17:43 GMT -5
I have a mess of bills and paperwork piled in my bedroom along with everything else.
I was going to start cleaning out the room yesterday, so I could find the bills, so I could pay them. (I'm running out of time.)
I think, instead, I will clean off the desk a la the Warrior Kimmey method. Then start on the bedroom. That way, as I run across bills, I will have a proper place for them!
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