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Post by woolybooger on Feb 22, 2015 19:24:43 GMT -5
Well I am just so disgusted with myself right now. I had a bunch of heirloom family pics dating around 1940-60 of my mom and grandparents. These are the only copies known in existence , and they've never been scanned or photocopied. I had them in the trunk of my car (ironically to protect them), then I got into a car accident in January. My car was totaled and towed to a junk yard, and I had to go later and get everything out. It was freezing outside and I put everything on the porch because I was extremely upset.I had a lot of stuff in my car. I had some things in trash bags (towels,clothes) and some things in plastic totes. I honestly thought that the pics were in a tote. They were in a halfway open trash bag that has been getting rained on for almost 2 months.
I was extremely distraught about the car accident, and this triggered another spiral into depression.Everything set on the porch until today when it was nice outside,I went out there to deal with it (2 months later).
98% of the pics were ruined.Indecipherable ink smears and weird mutant neon orange blobs for those in color. No amount of digital restoration could repair them. I threw them away so disgusted with my self. More destruction and loss on top of the car accident,losing the car, and income. The other 2% of pics I dried out.Then I promptly went to the Goodwill and got some frames and framed them. I just wonder what is wrong with me, why did I 'let' that happen. It was like I wasn't even thinking clearly,in some kind of fog.I felt traumatized and in the bottom of some deep dark hole. I am horrified about what I did to the pics. Thanks for listening, I thought maybe people here would understand.
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Deleted
Joined: January 1970
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2015 20:47:11 GMT -5
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Post by danny15 on Feb 22, 2015 21:22:39 GMT -5
I'm so very sorry.
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Post by woolybooger on Feb 23, 2015 9:05:17 GMT -5
Thank you for your replies. I know that I will just have to accept the loss and move on...because there's literally nothing I can do about it now.
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Post by wit on Feb 23, 2015 9:09:04 GMT -5
I'm really sorry. I admire how realistic you're being about this, and how you put the remaining ones in frames right away. I hope something nice happens to you today.
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Post by seekingpeace on Feb 23, 2015 9:18:24 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. Sounds like the car accident was pretty traumatic and had it been me, I'd have most likely left the stuff on the porch, too. Don't beat yourself up over the pictures, you didn't do it on purpose and you were sure they were safely in the tote. hugs.
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Post by misssue on Feb 23, 2015 11:13:37 GMT -5
I am sorry this happened to you, and often something like this, is the domino effect. That does not make it better, but it does make you aware. Maybe your post will help someone else that has photos, or some memorabilia, that need to put in a safe place or preserve. Or frame! Or keeping other things in their car! Good intentions and all that. I believe that what you wrote is good path to take, you have to forgive yourself, it is done and move on. I add to forgiving yourself, to try and take that negative and use to get something else taken care of that you may have not neglected, but had good intentions of doing. Easier said than done also. I think you were brave to post and I hope that helped. Good you framed the ones that you could keep, it motivated you to action, and you got it done. That is hard, and on top of all the others problems the car accident caused. Do not let this defeat you! I know it made me think about the photos I have, and I have never gone through them, and I need to. Divorced, I do not want 28 years of photos of the ex and I, trips or whatever. I also have old family photos of family, my brother put on dvds for me. Maybe you are helping others with your heartfelt post, you did me!
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Post by brenda on Feb 23, 2015 14:20:54 GMT -5
I am really sorry for the loss, I know it is so painful to know it was our neglect that led to the loss of beloved things. Like you I have lost beloved items due to neglect. I think you need to forgive yourself, mourn the loss and try to take it as a lesson why we must care for things we love.
Hugs to you and be kind to yourself.
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Post by needmorecoffee on Feb 23, 2015 17:12:32 GMT -5
I've lost things in similar circumstances too. Irreplaceable. So I feel for you.
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Post by catcat on Feb 23, 2015 23:51:54 GMT -5
I am so very sorry. Many of us have lost treasures because we did not care for them properly. In your case, I think the anguish about the car accident was the main culprit. I was in a bad car accident last August, & for a while, it was a bad influence on what I did & did not do. Kind of like a temporary PTSD.
Try & forgive yourself. It is a big disappointment, but it doesn't make you a bad person ! Please accept my condolences on the loss of your pictures & take gentle care of yourself.
Blessings, catcat
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Post by cyn on Feb 24, 2015 14:34:36 GMT -5
I'm so sorry those pictures got misplaced, and they didn't go into the tote like you'd intended. That sucks, it's something that you'll always want to beat yourself up about, but you really shouldn't! After the accident, you couldn't be thinking clearly - so it's totally not your fault that this crappy thing happened. Please don't be so hard on yourself. People lose photos from all kinds of tragedies, unfortunately - but you can't blame yourself for it. Although, I *know* that it's a reflex kind of thought - me being a hoarder, it's almost a default way to think: my stuff is ruined because I didn't take care of it properly. Well, sometimes I can't even take care of myself properly, so how am I supposed to take care of 'things' when even the most basic survival instinct is missing??? That's the sad reality.
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Post by dayeanu on Feb 24, 2015 14:46:13 GMT -5
Sending hugs and comfort to you.
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Post by reb on Feb 24, 2015 15:11:41 GMT -5
woolyboogerSometimes in grief, or shock or error or circumstance, we lose valuable things. I'm glad you had the wherewithal to save the last 2% of your photos. I am more concerned that YOU are alright after the accident than that some items, no matter how important, are alright. YOU are more important than the photos. Even if they are irreplaceable, they are not as irreplaceable as YOU. How are you doing since the accident?
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Post by woolybooger on Feb 24, 2015 16:53:17 GMT -5
I am sorry this happened to you, and often something like this, is the domino effect. That does not make it better, but it does make you aware. Maybe your post will help someone else that has photos, or some memorabilia, that need to put in a safe place or preserve. Or frame! Or keeping other things in their car! Good intentions and all that. I believe that what you wrote is good path to take, you have to forgive yourself, it is done and move on. I add to forgiving yourself, to try and take that negative and use to get something else taken care of that you may have not neglected, but had good intentions of doing. Easier said than done also. I think you were brave to post and I hope that helped. Good you framed the ones that you could keep, it motivated you to action, and you got it done. That is hard, and on top of all the others problems the car accident caused. Do not let this defeat you! I know it made me think about the photos I have, and I have never gone through them, and I need to. Divorced, I do not want 28 years of photos of the ex and I, trips or whatever. I also have old family photos of family, my brother put on dvds for me. Maybe you are helping others with your heartfelt post, you did me! Thank you so much for this post. I have to say if anyone here has things like pics that are irreplaceable, if you can afford it take them to a copy shop/office supply store and have them scanned to one or more thumb drives and keep them in separate places. (or DIY if you have a scanner) I think one of my problems is paralysis from perfectionism. I kept waiting for the perfect time to sort them, the perfect frames, pic matting etc. Then after the traumatic situation, I was just on auto pilot to get it done.
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Post by woolybooger on Feb 24, 2015 16:59:18 GMT -5
I'm so sorry those pictures got misplaced, and they didn't go into the tote like you'd intended. That sucks, it's something that you'll always want to beat yourself up about, but you really shouldn't! After the accident, you couldn't be thinking clearly - so it's totally not your fault that this crappy thing happened. Please don't be so hard on yourself. People lose photos from all kinds of tragedies, unfortunately - but you can't blame yourself for it. Although, I *know* that it's a reflex kind of thought - me being a hoarder, it's almost a default way to think: my stuff is ruined because I didn't take care of it properly. Well, sometimes I can't even take care of myself properly, so how am I supposed to take care of 'things' when even the most basic survival instinct is missing??? That's the sad reality. That is what I'm thinking,that some people lose it all to floods/fire. At least I have a few. reb, physically I am lucky and I walked away. Mentally,it was event that sunk me deeper into depression. Also it is a huge blow financially for many reasons. In hindsight, whos to say I'd ever had gone through any of them if it were not for the accident. They were just going to be perpetually protected in my trunk (in my mind)
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