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Post by razy on Mar 20, 2015 22:18:50 GMT -5
Di im not sure how many i use. I havent been doung any art because of depression. I need to start doubg it again. When im actively doing art, i can use a book a month. Blank books maybe one every two or three months. I take a look at it from that perspective. I dont have space for a lifetime supply. Good start Unswamping Maybe decide on how much space you want to allocate for them and fill that. (a shelf, a box, a drawer)
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Post by Irisheyes on Mar 20, 2015 22:47:56 GMT -5
Here's my dilemma ~ a lot of stuff here in the computer room is my DD's. Remember I mentioned a few weeks ago I was tossing stuff in here and she saw one of her high school notebooks in the trash and wanted to take it out and I said ok? Is it wrong of me to toss her stuff without telling her? If it was really worthwhile I would let her make the choice. But of course what is worthwhile or not to me will be different to her. And I can pretty much guarantee that she would keep most of what I would show her. At least for awhile before she might agree to toss or donate. Example ~ a box of super nice drawing pens with neon colors, fluorescent colors, stuff that writes on black paper, etc. Most are probably dried up (15 years) but it was sent to her from a friend who we have since lost touch with. Decades ago as a kid when my mother would toss something of mine I felt extremely violated and angry. I know a lot of issues started there. If my ex ever tossed any of my things without asking I went nuts. Looking back I can see how unreasonable it was but......... It's *my stuff* and I want control of how, when, if it's disposed. Unless I specifically say you can do want you want with this bunch. Shouldn't I respect my DD's stuff and her feelings about it as well? How can I do to her what would send me into feelings of 2 year old raging tantrums and feelings of powerlessness? We could take the time to sit and sort together but the decisions would take a frustratingly long time. Again, it's why I don't want to impose my dejunking sessions on anyone else. What a colossal waste of their time waiting on me to turn the item over in my hand, reminisce about it, hem and haw..... you know what I mean. So, opinions please. Opinions are like - umm, you know what - and everybody has one...or a few thousand! So, here are some of mine. First, we don't know the scope of your dd's disability, nor how it manifests in her need to have familiar items, nor whether specific losses will have negative effects on her emotional security. I think you should take that into consideration when deciding whether to toss anything without her knowledge or consent. You want to help her learn good habits and decision-making skills, and I think this dejunking venture is an ideal opportunity to teach her. Perhaps you could sort out those things you believe should be trashed, donated, sold, etc., and put them into groups according to type, and explain to her how she can use certain criteria to help her decide whether to keep or get rid of something. For instance, group all the old, dried markers. Show her none of them work, explain they cannot be used to color by her or anybody else, tell her you cannot think of another use for them, and conclude that you think all of those things qualifies bad markers as trash. The two of you can collect up her old clothing that is too small, torn, stained, ugly beyond belief, etc. I'm talking about just grabbing it all and putting it in a bin or bag. After you've collected a bin of these things, explain to her why those clothes are not anything she wears, or could/should wear. Then task her with sorting them in those subgroups (stained, small, etc), and leave her to it. When she finishes, have her explain to you which must go in the trash, and which can be donated, and why. I am suggesting groups of things be gathered together to be addressed as a group in order to save you time going over each individual item. It also gives you an opportunity to discuss a group of things as a concept according to type, and gives her the chance to practice assessing many similar items. When she is finished sorting a group and telling you her choices and reasons, you can approve or help her fine-tune. (Irishey tells herself to heed her own very good advice. !) Danny, you said, "Again, it's why I don't want to impose my dejunking sessions on anyone else. What a colossal waste of their time waiting on me to turn the item over in my hand, reminisce about it, hem and haw..... you know what I mean." I think it would be worth my time to sit with a friend while she deliberated over her treasures, and shared her stories about it with me. I would like it if a friend did that with me. Friends could take turns sharing, commiserate, share similar stories, offer insight, cry a little, laugh a little, toss a little, preserve and honor a little...together. Having a good friend, and sharing good and bad times together, are more important than ANY old stuff. Dang. Forgotten knowledge that just felt like an epiphany - and would have been an epiphany if I didn't already know that. I needed reminding, obviously. Want to hear about my bell collection? How about my old clothes that I wore when I was half my current size? Old greeting cards and letters? Knick-knacks numbering in the hundreds? Kitchen gadgets from my ancestors? Books? You can pick a random whatever that you want to hear me reminisce over - I'm sure I have one of them, or 23 or 157 or some other embarrassing number, to agonize over. !
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Post by razy on Mar 20, 2015 23:06:30 GMT -5
Irisheyes - this thread could be used to have those conversations, if there is no one available in real life. I know it is not the same but it might be better than nothing, enough to be able to let things go.
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Post by Irisheyes on Mar 20, 2015 23:23:46 GMT -5
Thanks, razy. I totally agree! I definitely am planning to do that on this thread, but I have to wait until I've gotten a handle on my paper mountain, defunct recordkeeping and financial squalor. There's agonizing hoard that causes major interference in quality of life, then there's urgent squalor. One of the good thing about spending time on various threads here is that the good ideas, support and friendly socializing is slowly helping me get back to myself so I can focus enough to process my emotional blockages. I'm still stuck over a lot of things that keep me from being able to face the paper monster (similar issues over the rest of the hoard), but I remain optimistic I can break through. Hugs!
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Post by danny15 on Mar 21, 2015 9:28:28 GMT -5
Irisheyes, Irishey, once again you have given me excellent advice and much food for thought. Thank you so much dear sister!
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Post by phoenixcat on Mar 21, 2015 11:34:20 GMT -5
Want to hear about my bell collection? How about my old clothes that I wore when I was half my current size? Old greeting cards and letters? Knick-knacks numbering in the hundreds? Kitchen gadgets from my ancestors? Books? You can pick a random whatever that you want to hear me reminisce over - I'm sure I have one of them, or 23 or 157 or some other embarrassing number, to agonize over. ! OK IrishEyes - WHEN DID YOU MOVE INTO MY HOUSE AND WHERE ARE YOU HIDING? I'd love to chat about our bells - clothes half my size - 15 boxes of cards/letters - zillion collection of knicky knacks - inherited cookbooks and dishes and the books - oh the many books - you didn't mention your 100s of stuffed animals PC
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Post by Irisheyes on Mar 21, 2015 21:11:19 GMT -5
I only have a few stuffed animals of my own, phoenixcat. I don't count the bags of them that belong to my children. Ha! Luckily, I sent many of those with the older kids after they left home and started having children of their own. Still have too many here, though, along with the big bin of beanie babies and buddies my mom gave to my dd. I have a few of my own beanies, and I love them. I think many of us live in various squalor/hoarding aspects of each other's homes. I'm so sorry about that! ! You don't deserve to live with my mess. Heck, I don't even want you to have to visit my mess!
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slobovian
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 77
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Post by slobovian on Mar 22, 2015 1:19:56 GMT -5
I would get rid of them. You certainly could ask your friends if they could use them, but if they are too big for their boys right now, then they have to store them.I would donate themto a charity resale shop or freecycle them. Should I keep Kids clothes, the ones still in good condition? I enjoy being able to say "yeah I have those sizes!" I'm pretty sure I'll never have another boy, as I'm 99.9% certain I'm done with babies. I have some special things put away and I do have friends with little boys, but it's a long time between them being able to use. Am I answering my own question here?
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Post by needmorecoffee on Apr 26, 2015 22:14:46 GMT -5
A friend just announced they are having their first boy! woohoo! Pass on time and nothing coming back again.
I have some jade, like big pieces of jade from a holiday I took with exH right before we moved back and split up. They're valuable. They remind me of the clean air and snow melt stream I was standing in. But they're from that trip. And I have no where to put them, they are simply dust gathering on a shelf I want them gone from. What do I do? I can't just throw them away.
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Post by razy on Apr 26, 2015 22:37:58 GMT -5
Sell them? Donate to a charity so they can sell them? Give them to someone who like them? - Here in NZ jade/greenstone/pounamu should always be given as a gift rather than bought for one's self.
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Post by papermoon on Apr 26, 2015 22:40:59 GMT -5
I have some jade, like big pieces of jade from a holiday I took with exH right before we moved back and split up. They're valuable. They remind me of the clean air and snow melt stream I was standing in. But they're from that trip. And I have no where to put them, they are simply dust gathering on a shelf I want them gone from. What do I do? I can't just throw them away. Sounds like the perfect thing for CraigsList. Let the buyer carry away the jade pieces, with no emotions attached. You won't have to do any heavy lifting, as it were.
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Post by Unswamping on Jun 19, 2015 10:20:22 GMT -5
I used to make soap. Not from scratch but from bars bought at michaels and ac moore. I would melt them down and mold them into bars. When i moved two years ago, i gave away the melter and alot of the molds. Recently cleaning revealed that i still have about 10 lbs of soap. Should i get rid of it? Cut it up into chunks and use it up? I dont want to get back into making soap. Some of it is very nice, coconut oil, glycerine soap, stuff i would use if it wasnt a two pound bar. that would be a little awkward in the shower.
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Post by casper on Jun 19, 2015 10:29:10 GMT -5
I would cut it up into useable sizes and use it up.
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Post by misssue on Jun 19, 2015 11:45:55 GMT -5
I would try and use it! Not that I want to encourage anyone here to hang on to, or get in the mindset of what I call egg carton crap crafts.. going to use those 200 egg cartons to make fill in the blank.. some crappy craft! That thinking of what can I use those toilet paper empty rolls for.. I would cut it into bars and at least try it out.. see if it works for you! I am thrifty, though not crazy thrifty I say. So that being said as a disclaimer! Have you ever made your own laundry soap? I have been for a short time, this year, and it is wonderful! I have saved a lot of money this year making my own. Someone I trust posted her "recipe" in her blog, and despite a lifetime of doing thrifty things, never done that. Her recipe and my admiration of her, finally had me try it. I am using a dry recipe where you grate the soap added to Mule Team Borax, washing soda which here is available at Walmart, and a small amount of Oxy Clean, Dollar Tree brand fine. The soap is grated, so not sure if yours is hard enough to do that. You can use any soap you want, and for many, they want no scent. I am partial to Yardley Almond. You use very little also, a couple tablespoons. Pm me if you would like the recipe, working great for me. Now that said.. I have a small bucket of unscented glycerin soap in my garage! You reminded me of that! Found on one of my furniture buying trips for my business, to thrift.. since I have not really been thrift shopping in 3 plus years, I obviously have done nothing with it since then! I either use it or lose it. I had plans too, to reheat and use my silicone molds or candy molds to make bars. The appeal of it not being scented or clear appealed to me. BUT I think now I can do some Google work and find a way to turn into soft shower soap.. and give it to my BF, who I swear must use a quart a month! Or pump hand soap. I will put that on deadline, if I do not do something by a date.. I have to donate it. Trust me dear Swampy.. right now I would rather spend time being distracted figuring out what to do with that soap, cause I have a large yard to work on. One more cup of coffee and out I go there. It is in the decisions. I have the opposite of most, I have a lot of space and storage in my house. I need to get rid of things now, as I get older it will be harder. Or I may never have this much free time ever again! Sorry to hijack.. I do not want to cut that darn lawn. The front hill walk behind and my rider the rest.. UGGH. Good luck! Edit: I went in the garage, and got the soap. A 10 lb bucket. I looked it up on Amazon. IT is selling for 46.31 and 5.05 shipping! Life of the Party pure glycerin soap. I paid 3.99 for it at Goodwill. I chipped a small piece off, and it lathers fine. So..... I guess I better use it! Swampy.. sorry I am not much help, but just maybe see what it cost and if you can use it, DO! Neither of us have to go perfectionist and put it molds..
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Post by Unswamping on Jun 19, 2015 14:00:07 GMT -5
casper and misssue i think i will cut it into chunks and use it. Misssue, ill hold off on making my own laundry detergent for now. I saw that recipe too and thought it was interesting. Im trying to use down my stash first. Great bargain on the soap you found. Glycerine soap is very soft and dissolves easily so you should be able to make liquid soap out of it. i love that is gentle and makes your skin soft. As for procrastinating, im doing alot of that too today. My yard is too wet to work in today but it really needs to be done. I really do need to go to the grocery store and having been surfing the web as avoidance. I hope you are able to get the yard work done. I dont miss having the big yard and the ride on mower. I tend to avoid mowing too. I know exactly how long it takes and i try to tell myself that it only takes a half hour to cut my grass. Weed whacking is another story. Ive never done it here at the new house and i fear it will take forever. But as my former therapist told me "life hardly ever lives up to our anxieties". Maybe if i just went out and did it, i would find it is not as bad as i imagined. First though its friday and i need to get to the grocery store before people start getting off from work and the store gets crowded.
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