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Post by skitter on Nov 15, 2008 20:46:29 GMT -5
Hi Angie,
You're nearly there! You have a lot of children and a lot of hormones raging in your house right now. When your children feel the normal little annoyances toward each other, there's no where for them to get away from each other. That makes things really difficult.
It will only be a few years before they will be more mature and probably out on their own. This is the hardest part, and you're surviving, after all you've been through - awesome!
As a teacher, you must have chats in the staffroom. Is there another teacher who knows how to repair things or who has a relative who is a handyman? Not necessarily to do the work right now, but to come over and go through the house with you and help you itemize what needs doing.
This might give you a better idea of what things cost. If you live in a mobile home, is it in a trailer park? Would the manager or some other person there, maybe a retiree, be able to help with the work? Perhaps you or your kids could do some chores for him or her for work.
With home repairs, the major cost is usually labour. Many cosmetic home repairs can be done by the average person with patience and the ability to read a label. It helps if you talk to some people about what you're doing and they can give advice too. For example, you mention holes in the carpet. Is the floor underneath smooth enough to lay down self-sticking tiles?
You would want an electrician or a plumber to do any involved work, but are you sure that some of the things you need done are not usually done by homeowners? For example, homeowners typically replace their own wall switches, outlets, and ceiling lights when they break. You would not need an electrician for that, just someone who knew how to do it (and you could watch for next time.)
I know you said you don't have the skills, and while you're teaching you probably don't have the time, but home repair is really worth learning. An afternoon wandering around a Home Depot store and reading labels will give you ideas for some of the things you can do.
You might find that if you get the ball rolling, at least one of your children might become really interested and even have a flair for fixing things. They don't know that now, because they haven't been around people doing home repairs. That kind of knowledge is something you can kind of catch.
I live up north, and I think that getting an air conditioner seems like perhaps the biggest priority for you, repair-wise. If you and your children are all overly warm, it is easy to become irritable, and to just lack the energy to want to do anything.
Perhaps during your school breaks you can get interested in home repairs. It's fun actually - like doing a puzzle.
Love and cheers, skitter
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Post by skitter on Nov 15, 2008 20:52:53 GMT -5
Oh, one caveat, I don't know what the regulations are in your community regarding home repairs and who can do what - you might need to check that first. Also be really careful with electricity. Only someone who knows what they're doing should be at that.
Oh, I almost forgot! You can google how to fix just about anything!!! Or even if you don't plan to fix it yourself, you can see how it is done, so you'll know exactly what you're dealing with.
I don't have the websites on the tip of my tongue, but I usually try something like; air conditioner how to fix.
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Post by messyLlundain on Nov 21, 2008 18:37:02 GMT -5
Hello Angie I just want to tell you how your story moved me (and I'm a stiff upper-lipped Brit!) There IS hope, there really is and you have to hang on to that fact. Just you being here, doesn't that make you feel like you recognise that you deserve better and are starting out on your journey to achieve that? I identify with so much of what you said, I'm sure many of us do! Don't give up, don't look down, keep your eyes on the prize and keep coming here for support and encouragementI've only been here since yesterday, but this place seems like a great place to be as you start to make the changes. cyber hug from across the pond
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Post by fluffychild on Nov 21, 2008 22:28:37 GMT -5
Hi Angie. I always say that cobwebs add character to a room.
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Post by eagle on Nov 27, 2008 10:37:02 GMT -5
Yes, I agree with Script on all counts. Cockroaches in Florida? They are not an uncommon guest anywhere in Florida. But here are some pointers about cockroach management. You mentioned calling an exterminator. You can do what's necessary yourself without calling an exterminator. You mentioned calling a plumber. Some things you can also do yourself, or have one of your teenagers learn. Which one of them is a likely candidate? I have two sons and one of them is so skillful at everything he tries to do. Even I have surprised myself with what I have been able to learn to do quite effectively. Simple plumbing problems can be dealt with fairly easily by someone who is good with their hands and willing to learn and having a little bit of patience. You can get books OR you can find instruction on the internet for free. Here are a few sites for plumbing repair information: DIY - Do It Yourself Plumbing repair This one has videos to show how to do some plumbing repairs. Hometime has many instructional diagrams and some very descriptive videos for a variety of plumbing repairs. HowStuffWorks is a good resource. Here is a simple patch repair for a copper pipe with a hole in it. You can find other useful information at this site, also. As was mentioned earlier, you can Google specific verbage to get more specific results. Then you can look at each result and may find among them better instructions and more useful photographs and videos to help you make the repairs you need. There are even sites that are pertinent to Mobile Home Repair. Here is DIY's mobile home repairs section. Angie, I am glad that you were able to get some bags of garbage out. Now I hope that you and your family are enjoying your Thanksgiving. Please come back and let us know how you are doing now, and perhaps join us on ListZilla to tackle those de-squaloring projects.
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Post by 60isolderthanithot on Dec 1, 2008 14:48:13 GMT -5
A clean , repaired home might make me feel better,...is there hope for me? It's GOOD that you are in a trailer, it's limited space and therefore easier to set right! Unlike some huge barn of a space, you can probably fog it with just two cans of insect fogger and be okay. Remove all living things, cover all food stuffs and wash the animals outside in a kiddie pool. bug Bomb the closed trailer for several hours. Don't go back in until the maximum time on the label and even then, just to open all doors and windows for some hours. The big secret is to do it again about 14 days later. Most of the bugs that bug humans have about a two week growth cycle. If you kill them off AND their babies, you're way ahead of the game. The kids are old enough to help. Stop worrying about men. Leave it alone. Make a life. They will come to you when you feel better about yourself.
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Post by 60isolderthanithot on Dec 1, 2008 14:52:17 GMT -5
By the way, you might consider going to the library and checking out a few do-it-yourself books. Women need to get over their dependency. Home Depot has a great general book and the Black & Decker series is also very good. Look through them and USE them a while - don't buy until you know they're handy. There must be a craigslist nearby, ask around if there are any handymen with REFERENCES for various types of work. I consider hiring out a last resort. Every time some group does an investigation, it turns out women are ripped off at least 50% of the time. Nobody can afford that kind of waste.
I speak from bitter experience. Even the licensed ones are well protected from accountability for their terrible mistakes. They all claim there are only a few rotten apples. Once you learn HOW some of these jobs are done, you will be outraged by what you've paid these scammers to do for you in the past.
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Post by threedecades on Dec 6, 2008 16:26:45 GMT -5
This is a really positive thread, I really like it. Just reading the replies are helping me calm down about myself. I'm 27 with 2 three year olds and a baby due in March.
That's great that your kids helped you gather that trash up... it sounds like maybe the whole home project could be something to bring you all closer together. Just reading about it makes me want to help you out with those roaches. I hate roaches more than just about anything and getting rid of them is satisfying.
I've gained over 50 lbs this pregnancy so far -- it is so miserable on top of everything else... and I like you am also feeling undesireable... no desire to do anything with my hair... I don't even have any clothes that look good on me(just huge baggy things).
You're perhaps starting to see light at the end of the tunnel, I hope... I hope to be there soon... I want to.
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sarty
New Member
Joined: December 2008
Posts: 8
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Post by sarty on Dec 8, 2008 21:47:00 GMT -5
Hi Angie! I let out a "Yaaaay!" out loud when I read that you had taken out some sacks of garbage and I started my cat so much she jumped, I know what a big deal that is and I'm so proud of you for doing that! Welcome and I'm so glad you are here!! Everyone here has already given such great advice and there is more where that came from. They are a great group of people, and speaking for myself I can tell you they've helped me a lot in the past. In the financial department, I want to introduce you to www.modestneeds.org. Their slogan is "Small Change: A World of Difference". They are a great group who will help you with specific financial needs. You can apply for as many individual needs as you have as often as you have them (so it's not like a one time thing).
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Post by timetochange on Dec 13, 2008 11:56:17 GMT -5
{{{hugs}}}}
I have a VERY similar story and just wanted to let you know you are NOT alone!
Everyone else has given such GREAT advice, I just wanted to second the suggestion about trying medication for your depression! If you can get "stable" on that, life will seem much easier to deal with! Your regular doc can prescribe or better yet a mental health pro.
And then realize you have been through a TON of trauma!!!! A support group or counseling would probably REALLY help you deal with all that has happened!
When you have a firm foot, talk to the docs or school to see if any of the kids are depressed or need therapy/support too! They may need to talk about it all.
I know the thought of others finding out about it "all" is SCARY, but I also hear you want a new life and you love your kids!
YOU CAN DO THIS! ONE BABY STEP AT A TIME!
Ask for help!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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Post by phoebepj on Dec 14, 2008 13:06:20 GMT -5
yay!!! i echo the bombing idea, even if you do it every 14 days for 2months, just get it really good like 3-4 times and you will definitely notice a difference. AS far as repairs go, do you go to church? maybe there are some local church members who are willing to help do some repairs. As far as the AC goes, that can be an expensive repair, but window units are sold at retail outlets for relatively inexpensive prices. Maybe you can get one window unit to put in a room while you work on it, then you wont be so hot while working... migrate the window unit to other rooms as you tackle them.
As far as the urine smell, Odoban from walmart works wonders. You have to get after it a couple times and i'd recommend bleaching the area first but i know you can do it!!!
When i desqualored, i removed over 120 trashbags from my tiny apartment, you are NOT alone!!! and you CAN do it!!!!!
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Post by creativechaos on Dec 14, 2008 15:14:53 GMT -5
hi angie, welcome! i haven't posted in about 3 months, and your post is the first i read, and all the wonderful responses. i am so glad you found this group. there is so much love, experience, and help here. you are in the right place. how are things going for you? with the support and great ideas you get from the caring people here, you can move mountains! sending all good thoughts your way; you are a worthwhile person and then some! take good care of yourself and give yourself a hug today.
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Post by missjean on Dec 15, 2008 21:11:02 GMT -5
Great work! Yours is the first post I read here, and I'm really happy for your 4 bags of cleaning! I would add another plus to your column - your older kids might not get along, but they worked together for a family goal. That's a great thing. I second the DIY book suggestion. I am have no one but me to do repairs, but I've learned a lot about such things as fixing leaky faucets and crooked doors. Some of it is kind of fun, even.
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Post by creativechaos on Dec 17, 2008 20:03:02 GMT -5
hi messyang;
just wondering how things are going for you?
hugs!
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Post by messyang on Dec 18, 2008 21:46:53 GMT -5
Hey y'all! First, thank you for all the wonderful replies. Words cannot express how appreciative I am!! I am doing better emotionally, but of course, I have good and bad days. Right now the mounds of laundry are getting to me, and I have so much to do. After Friday, I will have two weeks off for Christmas holiday (I am a teacher), and I have already spoken to my kids about using this time for desqualoring (ahem...cleaning). In 2009, I would like to lose weight, but only for my health, not to be a model or anything, as I know my kids need me. The roach problem really bothers me. I am not sure about bombing as I live in a very large mobile home (I know the term trailer makes it sound like I live in a tiny space, but I dont). I also have pets and fish. But I would try anything at this point. I at least want to cut down the roach population so that the exterminator doesn't report me or something. I have used sprays, powders/boric acid, gels, baits, roach motels, and even the things you plug into the walls. I live in the "woods" so getting rid of the buggers may require a bit more effort than I can muster. I believe that my children and I do need counseling, and medication for me wouldn't hurt. I feel very alone and lonely at times. I can't believe I have lived 43 years and haven't managed to cultivate any close friends. I also seem to be having trouble raising three boys without a father. But, I will and can hang in there. THANKS again for all the support.!!!
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