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Post by creativechaos on Mar 26, 2021 11:36:38 GMT -5
so nice to come here after what feels like a long time, and find your encouraging post, gunnachange! thank you for visiting and for wishing me luck and telling me that the worst teeth are out and that you notice a great difference in the inflammation. NewLifeToday, jlove, daybyday, seahorse - thank you all for all the hugs and atta girls - i need those now!
some have read my blog and know that also my longest time friend and one of my best friends is in her final stages with the cancer and is in hospice. i was helping but in over my head with the lifting which i can't do with my bodily issues. Now it is just her family around her. they finally got her a hospital bed! it's been a difficult time. i so wish i could see her and yet i understand that this is how it needs to be. we at least had a little time together.
car is fixed! i bought a starter and paid someone to put it in, but new starter acting a little strange so i wonder now if the electrical problems are greater than i knew. still holding onto this computer. it has given me a lot of trouble but i keep figuring out how to fix it - time sucking but i have no other choice right now.
what's on my plate today is that i have an appointment to drop off donations at the exchange. i make them every month, you have to have an appointment now and they book up fast. so far i have either canceled or made poor use of my appointments. i have one in 5 hrs and i have barely a half-full box put together. much more came in with my acquiring, than what ever goes out. then i get to "crunch time" and i freeze up in paralysis. so that is what i am facing today. and when i make snap decisions about what to let go i make mistakes and then obsess over them. arggggh.
i will try to figure out how to go about having more than one puny box of stuff to donate! the idea is always that i will work on this a little each day but that never seems to happen. therapist has said that now may not be the best time to be worrying about all of this - given everything else. i am going to make my next post about any action stiups i manage to make with donations but darn it - here i am again, under pressure and i hate that i do this to myself! what i have to donate so far is not even worth the gas it'll take to get there.
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Post by creativechaos on Mar 26, 2021 18:55:15 GMT -5
all i managed to do today is clean some old rotting food out of the overstuffed fridge and donate a box of stuff and a few items to the exchange.
i am getting some free carpet padding and scrap and hope to put it over the place on the bedroom floor where i believe the bulk of the late night blasting noise is coming from - i hope it'll help soundproof the floor a little and keep my bed from having so much vibration from the noise.
i also acquired some free small-hole chicken wire for fence rabbit-proofing. i think i'll go to the garden for an hour or two, even though it is windy and chilly. the thistles are coming on like mad.
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Post by NewLifeToday on Mar 27, 2021 11:36:06 GMT -5
CC, Congrats in getting rid of some things, and what good ideas for the soundproofing! Don't know if pieces of rubber would help underneath the legs of the bedframe. I bought some high density rubber at a hardware store and had pieces cut to use as sound and vibration proofing. I put them under the legs of a washing machine. That really helped keep the floor from vibrating.
I wear ear plugs and have two or three fans going all the time to keep my hearing from focussing on noises I cannot do anything about.
I wish you success!
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Post by creativechaos on Mar 29, 2021 0:14:35 GMT -5
thanks, NewLifeToday, for your encouragement! i thought of putting it under the bed but i have one of those beds with a big wooden storage area underneath; i would have do dismantle the whole thing and i'm not up for that. i do love my sound machine - it keeps me sane and usually works to give me enough white noise to get to sleep or get back to sleep. i was just going to do one little area where i think the blasting TV might be. i thought i was just getting a scrap big enough for that, but the lady delivered it while i was out - there are two huge pieces of padding. i had to drag, lift, re-roll it to be able to be stuffed into my car and now i am stuck with it til Friday unless i can list it for free on the local buy/sell/trade. this place is so hoarded up there is no way i could easily put the padding down around the bed. i wonder if it'll even work if i don't put it under the bed.
i have gotten little done. i kind of re-injured all my bad parts (rotator, elbow) and wrenched my back pretty badly wrestling the carpet pad into the car. i feel so overwhelmed on a daily basis.
i need to find SOME way to let go of more or at least box it up so it isnt all over the place. i went into my storage unit that was primarily book, and completely froze up... i don't know how i am going to approach this. i guess one item at a time.
i need to get the dishes done. they have been collecting in the sink for a week. i thought i had got rid of the flies but they are back so some food or other must be rotting somewhere in the kitchen under the piles on the floor and counter.
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Post by mylittlescholar on Mar 29, 2021 1:35:45 GMT -5
(((creativechaos))) wish I could whisk you (and kitty) away to a restful retreat. I have really come to depend on earplugs and now my fancy noise cancelling headphones.
Paralysis is understandable. and it just occurred to me as I was thinking about "one thing at a time"... that is actually how reality actually works! I think its a "strategy," but really, its just me aligning with the physics of life on this plain, without my brain getting distracted or my emotions getting triggered. I just got that whether I am paralyzed or not (I kinda am, right now) whether I am panicked or not, whether I am overwhelmed or not--whatever I need to do actually can only happen on thing at a time.
I am somewhat gobsmacked by this. and I think I will go do the next thing.
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