|
|
Post by technicallyblue on Jun 16, 2020 10:02:20 GMT -5
Hi! I am a stay-at-home mom, I have 2 little boys (almost 3yo and 6mo).
My husband is a mild hoarder, he mostly just keeps boxes and other containers. But we have stuff piled up literally everywhere. It's so hard to clean anything because there is always so much stuff in the way. We have a 3 bedroom house with a finished basement, there are 3 tiny cupboards in the basement for storage, so we have taken over one of the bedrooms for additional storage - but with 2 kids and 2 kids bedrooms this is going to be a problem really soon. I dream of chucking everything in the garbage, but I worry about my husband's reaction and I've been too chicken to even throw out my own things.
I'm going to be doing tiny baby steps around my house. I've been looking for a judgment free place to post before and after pictures, so you can look forward to that soon.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arid on Jun 16, 2020 17:50:37 GMT -5
Welcome, technicallyblue!
Arid
|
|
|
|
Post by larataylor on Jun 16, 2020 18:56:47 GMT -5
technicallyblue - welcome to the forum! You're in the right place. Baby steps are great, and probably all you have time for with your little ones. Little steps create motivation for more, and they also add up. Posting photos is also motivating!   
|
|
|
|
Post by technicallyblue on Jun 16, 2020 19:56:32 GMT -5
larataylor thanks! It's definitely a challenge to find time to do things with the kids, but I'm doing this so the house is safer for them. (The unsafe parts are blocked off with baby gates, but that's only going to work for so long)
|
|
|
|
Post by larataylor on Jun 16, 2020 22:43:21 GMT -5
technicallyblue - you're just getting started on a wonderful and very clutter-making ride with free time in very short supply. Unless you have a large attic, you'll want to start training your decluttering muscles now. A little bit, almost every day is the way to go! A lot of my friends are recent empty-nesters, and I'm hearing a lot of complaints about how much stuff there is in the attic!
|
|
|
|
Post by joyinvirginia on Jun 17, 2020 6:09:04 GMT -5
Welcome! congrats on finding your way here! First step in dealing with a problem is realizing you have a problem, so you have done step 1! We will be happy to cheer you on.
|
|
|
|
Post by ohblondie on Jun 17, 2020 8:37:01 GMT -5
Welcome - this is a judgement free zone!!
|
|
|
|
Post by lostchild on Jun 17, 2020 21:01:48 GMT -5
We don't judge we've all been there and worse so don't feel like this is something you're alone in. We're all in different steps in the journey. My first advice is don't be hard on yourself. Just like it took time to get this way it will take time to get out of it. It's hard being honest with yourself and working with a spouse can be even harder when they aren't on the same pathway yet. Our work in doing it with our things becomes an example for many spouses and children. Put it in terms that are positives. They will feel better with stuff that they've outgrown being given to a child who would welcome their things. Domestic violence shelters constantly need things and especially when people are reestablishing themselves they've left with nothing except their lives,their children and the things in their purse! Frame it in terms that kids might benefit from such as with less stuff it's easier to clean their rooms. They can have company over. You're making room for better things and just like a closed fist a house gets no benefits from things stagnating!
Leading by example won't be easy since the family will have to adjust to this mindset as will you so don't beat yourself up! Right now I am not in maintenance although I have been. I am going through thing getting ready to move so I am purging stuff so that even though we're moving to gain space not because we've added too much stuff but I remarried and we are now combining his belongings and mine and with the situation from CoVid-19 ongoing I am now also having to set up a classroom because I am now the teacher for my youngest who's autistic.
I also was a victim of a hacking into my accounts so I am also having to weed through my financial records to open and close accounts and verify the amounts on my bills which has been eye opening. They are actually very much in good shape but it's time consuming and tedious. So my papers are multiplying when I turn my back. I am telling you this specifically so you understand WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE AND IT TAKES TIME BUT YOU CAN GET INTO A BETTER SITUATION. WELCOME!
|
|
|
|
Post by technicallyblue on Jun 18, 2020 11:55:51 GMT -5
lostchild - Thank you! It's been a struggle between me and my husband, we have two very different mindsets. He will pick up things and think for a long time trying to come up with a use for it. I'm like, if you have to think that hard then it's clearly garbage. I have hope that he will come around to my point of view. A couple weeks ago he said "if something cost less than $5 then who cares about throwing it out?" That's not something I ever expected him to say. I used to focus a lot on his things, I would get frustrated that I couldn't throw them out or put them away. But Marie Kondo has convinced me to focus on my own things, and there is a lot of room for improvement there. I'm definitely hoping that having cleaner spaces will encourage him to clean up more. I like your advice to focus on the positive, I'll be keeping that in mind. 
|
|
|
|
Post by lostchild on Jun 30, 2020 3:19:13 GMT -5
My new (old) husband is the same way! I have finally had to go on an emotional break from all of the chaos from everyone thinking that I have the solution! It seems like everyone is now looking into solutions!
|
|
|
|
Post by gillian on Jul 10, 2020 8:25:50 GMT -5
Welcome to the forum Technically Blue. Interesting username - how did you come up with that?
I hear you on the there's too much stuff in the way to do any cleaning thing, especially with regard to the kitchen counters. There's too much stuff in cupboards and drawers as well to be able to move stuff in there.
Have fun on your decluttering journey!
Gillian
|
|
