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Post by goldenthreads on Jun 23, 2020 17:00:04 GMT -5
Hi, everyone. I've been reading and posting here for about two weeks now.
In some ways, I don't have a lot of the challenges that others here do. But here I am anyway!
I don't have dependents--Mom is in a continuing care retirement community, my kids are on their own, and I have no pets. I'm retired. I don't have hobbies/activities or anything else that leads me to accumulate stuff, and I don't go shopping for fun. My laundry, dishes, and bills are all under control. My health is decent, and I have medium (?) energy.
In other words, my difficulties are due to my past errors in letting stuff pile up, and my current lack of drive to get rid of that stuff.
My house was sold a few years ago, and I now live in a small apartment within a house. So...too much stuff in a much smaller space than I had before. There is also a storage unit, and maybe thirty boxes of things (plus a little furniture) at a friend's house.
I don't have a lot of willpower, housework has always bored me, and I have ADHD.
When my grandmother died a few decades ago, my father rented a pickup truck to haul away her mostly worthless stuff. He might have said 62 loads. At any rate, my parents were disgusted. I do not want to do that to my kids. Additional motivations: 1) storage is costing me money; 2) I'd like the place to be more pleasant-looking for me and for guests; and 3) when I do get my own house again I want to keep moving costs down, and unpack stuff that I consciously want to keep, not the stuff I've dragged with me through several states and decades.
Thanks, everyone, for your support. I've been lapping up your posts and learning different approaches. What a great community!
 <<<<<<<<<< I know this. Just working on deeply believing it.
P.S. The main things I need to get rid of are papers and sentimental things, including sentimental papers.
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Post by doodles on Jun 23, 2020 18:00:49 GMT -5
 goldenthreads!  This an amazing community- full of wisdom and kindness. I hear you on the paperwork and sentimental things, it is my kryptonite! If you think it might help you could post on the weekday and weekend work along threads or working in threes. One of the things about doing this work is it is solitary with no one to work along side or cheer your progress. Working in those threads gives virtual encouragement and solidarity. 
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Post by goldenthreads on Jun 23, 2020 18:18:59 GMT -5
Thanks, doodles. I've occasionally had help from friends or family, but it's really the decisions that slow me down, and right now no one is visiting because of covid-19. I've used the workalongs, and I find them helpful. You're right about encouragement. I especially like cheerleading emojis!
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Post by doodles on Jun 23, 2020 21:36:12 GMT -5
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Post by goldenthreads on Jun 23, 2020 21:42:28 GMT -5
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Post by phoenixcat on Jun 23, 2020 22:52:40 GMT -5
Welcome goldenthreads !! We have a bit in common. My main issue is memorabilia. I'm the last in the line on my mother's side so I have my own hoard of pictures, letters, cards, mementos but I have my mother's stored here as well. She moved into a senior community in 2018 and her 35 boxes of "stuff" is in my basement. And, A LOT of her stuff is from her mother. So, I have three to four generations of "stuff".  . I have another extremely elderly relative I call FOL (feisty old lady) and pretty much everyone has said that her hoard will be mine to deal with as well. That's another 10-15 boxes which considering her age she is eons ahead of me! I think I have more than her and I'm 45 years younger. Of course on top of all the "paper" type things - I have linens, dishes, collections, art, knick-knacks, etc, etc. etc.  DH and I moved into a decent sized house over 5 years ago. We entertain a lot (pre-Covid) which keeps me in control most of the time. But behind every closet, drawer and cupboard is my "little" secret! Cheering you on - together we can do this!    PC |
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Post by goldenthreads on Jun 23, 2020 23:16:06 GMT -5
Welcome goldenthreads !! DH and I moved into a decent sized house over 5 years ago. We entertain a lot (pre-Covid) which keeps me in control most of the time. But behind every closet, drawer and cupboard is my "little" secret! Cheering you on - together we can do this! PC
I've read a lot of your posts, phoenixcat. Thanks for the welcome.
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Post by mylittlescholar on Jun 24, 2020 9:40:39 GMT -5
my relationship to is so funny. even though I "know" its true, every single day I wrestle with the truth of it. its kind of like "I don't care! I don't feel motivated now to get into action so that I can feel motivated, so what is the point, exactly?"
I've also realized that for me--and I think this is part of the ADD thing--transitions are really uncomfortable and challenging.
so I have focused on building my "transition muscle." now, mind you I don't really know if this can be done, but I pretend that it can, and somehow this helps me when it is hard--I tell myself that I am getting stronger, a no pain, no gain kind of thing.
also I have learned that the less I think about the transition the better.
I am also bored easily, so I often "gamify" things. I have made up some very elaborate games to entertain myself (you could do a search for gamify to see examples). One of the main tools I am using right now is I am making videos of my projects (I have a background in film production). Yes, it takes time for all the prep and set up, but it keeps me going.
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Post by goldenthreads on Jun 24, 2020 10:22:23 GMT -5
Hi, mylittlescholar. I am making a sign that says TRANSITION MUSCLE. I am posting it across from my comfy chair where I sit more than I ought. I've done some thinking about ADHD workarounds, but somehow never thought about transitions for me, even though that's a thing I had to work on with kids. Love this idea.
I'll think about gamifying. I use a basic habit tracker for daily and weekly tasks, but the gamifying apps don't appeal to me. Maybe I'll think of a real-life game myself.
Thanks!
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Post by larataylor on Jun 25, 2020 0:53:13 GMT -5
goldenthreads - welcome to the community! There's always someone here who can relate to your situation, whether you're living alone or in a house full of pets and people, in a big house or a studio apartment. I share your desire to not leave a lot of junk behind for my only child to deal with. I've been struggling with my in-laws' stuff for many years, and I don't want to do that to someone I love! Whatever I *do* leave behind, I want it to be labeled, captioned, and/or have a story attached to it. Like my own personal museum 
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Post by OnTheMend on Jul 30, 2020 0:35:59 GMT -5
Welcome! This is a great community to be, even if not all of our problems are the same.
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