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Post by thursdayschild on Dec 26, 2020 3:35:14 GMT -5
I've posted here a couple of times over the years but never became a regular contributor. Our house (me & hubby, 60's, no kids) is fairly messy, not Hoarders bad, but half the carpet torn out (cat messes), lots of boxes around, extra furniture with junk piled on it, dirty floors, papers everywhere... some would describe it as "cluttered" and even "filthy" although nothing horrendous like on TV. We've lived for six years in a fairly upper-middle-class neighborhood full of professionals, and I've never had anyone over because I'm ashamed of it. For whatever reason, I cannot seem to either want to or am unable to keep things organized and/or clean. I'm writing this here because I'm thinking there are people here who would understand and I just need to tell someone. Tonight my husband had a seizure, nothing new, but he fell into the bathtub which luckily was full of stuff which cushioned his fall. But it's not normal to have a bathtub full of stuff. Boxes of old medicine bottles, shampoo and soap bottles, etc. Well I tried to handle it myself but when he's coming out of a seizure, he's stronger than I am, and he gets combative, being disoriented, and I can't handle him or prevent him from going and falling down the basement stairs or whatever. So I had to call 911. The paramedics came, checked him out, and now I'm horrified because they were in here seeing how this house is and I'm feeling really bad about it. Plus the COVID situation and forgetting to wear a mask, and obviously hubby was not wearing a mask. I tell myself that they probably haven't seen anything they haven't seen before, and worse, but I can't shake the embarrassment. I wasn't raised this way, in fact when I was younger and unmarried I was a clean freak, I used to wash my walls every weekend!!! I don't know what's happened to me over the years and how to get that "clean freak" back. I just wish I could stop feeling ashamed and worthless like I do now. Thanks for reading.
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Post by lucie on Dec 26, 2020 5:07:46 GMT -5
Well, what you describe looks like my parent's home. They have piles around, sometimes some places are not usable because of them. It is quite common and I am sure the paramedics has seen it before. You can use your embarasment as a kick start and start throwing away trash and putting things away.   |
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Post by sillycanuck on Dec 26, 2020 9:02:58 GMT -5
Some chatters here use timers. It is based on your comfort level. Limits overdoing it - ease into actually noticeable accomplishments. This group is supportive. Ask questions or just read along.  |
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Post by joyinvirginia on Dec 26, 2020 13:40:36 GMT -5
Bathtubs make great storage! As long as you have a shower to use, that is. Yes, I have a few tote bags stored in the bathtub now. Used to have a globe of the world in the tub, for a few years.
Hey, the emergency folks could get around your house and into the bathroom! That's something good.
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Post by larataylor on Dec 26, 2020 14:23:42 GMT -5
thursdayschild - I'm sure a lot of us can relate to that. Personally, I went the opposite way. I was a messy teen and 20-something. I didn't want to be, and I got my apartment organized and clean before I got married. And then ... oh, my! Living with real messies and hoarders has made me into a clean freak! But I can relate to getting used to the mess and feeling unmotivated to do anything, but being embarrassed if anyone else sees it. I suggest hanging out with us here, and see if the motivation comes to you. After many years of struggle, I can finally have people in the house without apologizing to them. And that's really nice!
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Post by thursdayschild on Dec 26, 2020 15:44:49 GMT -5
Bathtubs make great storage! As long as you have a shower to use, that is. Yes, I have a few tote bags stored in the bathtub now. Used to have a globe of the world in the tub, for a few years. Hey, the emergency folks could get around your house and into the bathroom! That's something good. The paramedics did say that he could really have hurt himself if the bathtub was empty. Yes we do have a shower. My husband hoards egg cartons in trash bags in the basement and we are going to clear the actual junk from the tub and put some of those in it. That would be strange but less embarrassing because it would have a purpose. |
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Post by 7sweetbabiesgranny on Dec 27, 2020 19:14:03 GMT -5
Great idea!!
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Post by NewLifeToday on Dec 27, 2020 19:50:37 GMT -5
thursdayschild . I am sorry that so much, and of such a hefty nature, happened all at once. I hope your husband is doing well now. I am sending you best thoughts and a great hug.  I wish you success and joy in your steps in taking good care of yourself and your husband and your home. I will be making my steps out of squalor to help provide a base of support. I wish you all the best.
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Post by def6 on Jan 9, 2021 17:01:08 GMT -5
Hello thursdayschild I know what you mean...I used to clean everything before getting to go anywhere...but then life happened. I recently got my inner "clean freak" back by washing my outdoor garbage cans. Yes, it is true and sounds strange also. I used a broom for a make shift scrub brush. Then I washed my indoor kitchen garbage can. I hope it keeps going!! Best of luck.  |
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daybyday
New Member
Don't wait and take the chance of a serious illness beating you, clear it out now, time is precious
Joined: March 2014
Posts: 77 
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Post by daybyday on Jan 27, 2021 4:14:13 GMT -5
It has been a long time since I was here, yet once again. I procrastinate about that too. I remember you though thursdayschild. I wish I had come to this site more, then perhaps I would not have just lost so many of my sentimental items that is killing me. But anyhow, I have been in your shoes. It is horrifying to have to call EMS into your house, at least it was for me. But I had no choice. It had been many, many years ago, but was for the same reason. Came home from work, husband was having non-stop seizures. His blood sugar had dangerously dropped and had I not come home when I did it would have taken him out for good. He spent a long time in the hospital and even longer recovering over the next year. I totally understand how humiliating that is to have to call them. Please use that and this group to give you support to work at the clutter. I should of been telling myself these very words over the last few years and utilized it. I have many regrets not doing that now. But, know that we are here for your sounding board and for support in any way we can give it. I hope to be here OFTEN so will be needing buddies to work away at the clutter and cleaning that I need to do. This has always been a great group and I'm glad to see familiar faces still!  |
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Post by risenshine on Feb 10, 2021 14:41:17 GMT -5
Wow! this really reveals the level of stigma, misunderstanding, and ill conceived 'help' out there.
Deeply tragic that we even consider if our homes are too embarrassing when requesting emergency services.
Editing to clarify that I am not commenting on the state of anyone's home. I am commenting on the attitudes of society. Because yeah, the stigma is so deep that I feel the need to add this clarifying edit.
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Post by sue5000 on Feb 14, 2021 13:52:50 GMT -5
I used to have a bathtub and separate shower, too.
Somehow, the bathtub got filled with dirty clothes. For weeks! 😕
One of my son's friends was over one day, and asked me Why are all those clothes in your bathtub? 😶
I had no answer. ... 😯
Soon I took the whole pile to the laundry room and washed them all.
"Motivation follows action" really works.
I've used that slogan twice in the past week! ☺
Good luck 🍀
Stay with us!
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