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Post by larataylor on Mar 26, 2021 1:13:36 GMT -5
jfally - it's sweet how you're responding to each one of us, but it's totally okay if you don't, too! I just don't want you feel obliged to do that if it feels at all stressful.
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Post by joyinvirginia on Mar 26, 2021 6:01:40 GMT -5
I second What larataylor said! It's fine to do a group thanks to everyone, also fine to do individual thanks, whatever works for you is ok. That's the beauty of posting here, whatever works for you is great!
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jfally
New Member
I didn't wait. Haha, I see that there are some recent posts. I went ahead and gave my "story."
Joined: March 2021
Posts: 8
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Post by jfally on Mar 26, 2021 10:05:19 GMT -5
larataylor Yeah, I only have access to a computer when I am at work right now, and I was getting a little overwhelmed! I just don't want anymore to think they are being ignored. I just know that I am having a really hard time finding the motivation to go home and clean, not go home and play Apex Legends (an xbox game). My daughter will be spending half the weekend at her aunts house to give me a break. I know that if I really focus tomorrow, I can clean my house. but it will be a lot. This isn't a job I WANT to have to complete in one day, but my choices dictate otherwise. I just need strength right now. I am scared. Stressed out. Ready to snap...and I don't want to. I reached out to my mother, told her the absolute truth. Even what I was ashamed of...
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Post by goldenthreads on Mar 26, 2021 10:59:34 GMT -5
I'm glad the aunt and your mom are local and can be supportive. Good luck with your weekend!  |
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Post by bree on Mar 26, 2021 11:07:51 GMT -5
can you drop off the xbox game with your daughter? Not there, no temptation
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Post by larataylor on Mar 26, 2021 13:20:52 GMT -5
jfally - I understand how looking at "too much" makes you want to do nothing at all. Can you just look at the most important thing and do that?
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Post by risenshine on Mar 27, 2021 13:04:47 GMT -5
jfally,
Several times you used the word "fault." This language is often used to provoke guilt, blame or shame. There is other language you used which sounds very demoralizing. I have never found this kind of scapegoating to be inspiring or motivational. It is a toxic habit we learn from our caregivers as children.
You say that you were once able to keep you place neat, but now aren't. This points to legitimate REASONS for your place being a mess. Burying those reasons under a hot mess of guilt and shame is about as temporary and useful as fixing a water damaged ceiling before finding and fixing the broken pipe that caused the damage.
You CAN do this. You WANT to do this. And this forum will help you find a way.
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Post by def6 on Mar 27, 2021 14:16:12 GMT -5
Welcome jfally to this group. I can relate so much to your story and I feel your pain. I think the isolation can be far worse than the everyday messes. Isolation can send you down the rabbit hole very quickly. I hope you find the support you need here and in person.  Three cheers for you! |
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Post by Andrea on Mar 27, 2021 14:24:33 GMT -5
jfally welcome to the board and glad you are here. I can relate to feeling overwhelmed as a single mom to 2 now young adults with multiple disabilities. What I have found to work for me is breaking down what needs to get done into small bits and marking them off once you get anything done.
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Post by gillian on Apr 1, 2021 14:31:43 GMT -5
Welcome, jfally. I don't think you necessarily need to wait until your house is in order before you take care of yourself. When you complete one small bit as Andrea has suggested, give yourself a treat as a reward,eg. playing your game - if it hasn't been 'confiscated'- reading or some other activity you enjoy.
So glad your mother and sister/sister-in-law are able to help out.
Gillian
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Post by ohblondie on Apr 1, 2021 14:55:06 GMT -5
jfally How are you doing? I am hoping you were able to take advantage of your "free" day and balance some housework with some relaxation. Let us know how you are doing and how we can best cheer you on!
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