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Post by reve on Jun 16, 2021 16:40:00 GMT -5
Hey folks,
It's been a little while since I last posted, but while things are not terrible (I'd say mostly level 1), I'm feeling like I need to make some positive changes because the amount of clutter in my life is definitely impacting on my mental health. I feel like everywhere I look there is something that needs fixed or cleaned or de-cluttered, that comes with accompanying stress, and there have been a few times of late where that has just become a real problem for me emotionally.
I've been making some slow but steady progress recently - I took a car load of trash to the dump yesterday, and gave my partner an ultimatum about the second air fryer that has been sitting in front of our front door for a year and that should be going this weekend. I have a long vacation coming up in ten days so I'm hopeful I can get things back on track, and I have mentioned that, if I can make a significant dent in the status of the house, I will look into hiring a cleaner at the end of the summer, but I really need to have a good base for them to work from.
One thing I was hoping for some advice on was clothes, as I feel like I have a lot of them, and if I can manage to reduce them enough to fit everything in my drawer, then I can clear the bags of clean clothes on the floor, then I can clear the clean clothes from the kitchen table, then I have a space to organise other things. Everything in terms of de-squaloring seems to require other things to be unpicked first!
I've been reading around on decluttering recently, but when it comes to clothing, all the twee "just put the hangers one way and replace an outfit the other way round then just get rid of everything hanging the original way" just fills me with abject horror and terror. I managed to go through my bra drawer last week - I was stunned at how many I had - and throw out at least all of the ones that had broken wires or wires poking through (even if I didn't do so well at doing anything with ones I've never actually worn). That was a huge step!
My weight has always been an issue, and unsurprisingly with the sedentary nature of lockdown, I'm confronted with a lot of clothes that do not fit so well, if at all. I have always been the "Well, I'll lose some weight and then I'll fit into them sort of person", but I acknowledge that the older I get, the more hollow that sounds. I'm trying to tell myself, now that I'm a little more financially stable "if you do lose weight, you have permission to buy lots of nice new things". At work, we recently agreed to get matching shirts, so I have five comfortable work shirts and could probably move towards getting rid of older ones but I still seem to be clinging on to every item of clothing by my fingernails.
I really really struggle with the perfectionist side of de-squaloring and struggle to dispose of something if there's a chance it could ever be useful. I also am not sure what facilities are available for recycling textiles - my local recycling centre does not have anywhere to dispose of old clothes so I need to investigate local recycling points which often have them beside the bottle banks for glass recycling.
Also on the perfectionist side, I put a box of workwear aside when I moved into my house 3 years ago with the intention of donating to a particular charity, but I've realised that three years on, I've still never managed to arrange it and that I need to get it out of the house. I've never actually donated anything to a charity shop/thrift store and, while it sounds stupid, I don't really know how to to do it and my anxiety hates uncertainty.
In general, I'm needing a little bit of handholding, advice and encouragement on this. Coming across the idea of amnesty on this forum several years ago was so incredibly helpful to me, so clothes-specific baby steps would be very much appreciated!
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Post by goldenthreads on Jun 16, 2021 17:35:17 GMT -5
For donating things, if the charity has a website, there is usually a section on what kinds of things they accept, along with the location of where to drop things: inside the store, just outside the store, at their truck parked outside, at their general distribution center, etc. If there's no website, phone them or go to the store and ask! The places I use will take items in either bags or boxes. A few charities in the U.S. will pick them up from your front porch if you schedule it. There have been a lot of people on SOoS lately getting rid of clothes. mylittlescholar is one of them. Here's a link to her blog. Look at her May 30 post (page 4) for some inspiring photos. She writes a bit about her process, too. takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/thread/33110/little-blog-vol?page=4Clothes are not my thing, but I'm sure that others will be helpful. I know of some vloggers who've posted about their ways of going through clothes, and I can give links if you like. Good luck!  P.S. I just reread the part of your post that refers to baby steps (some people go with Konmari--too much for me), and that's the way I roll, too. One thing you could do is think about what would be simple criteria for starting the culling. I have thought especially about clothes that are uncomfortable, or that I always pass over in favor of others. Is the color not quite right? Does that piece of clothing require special underwear that's usually too much of a nuisance to deal with? With regard to clothes that you'd like to fit into again someday, if you just can't make yourself give them up, then you can put them in a box for later; just keep them out of your main closet or dresser so they're not there reminding you that they're not usable right now. |
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Post by nonchalant on Jun 16, 2021 19:46:56 GMT -5
goldenthreads has stated a lot of what I do: If it's too worn, toss it. If it's in good shape but uncomfortable to wear or doesn't look good or was a Bad Color Decision, donate (and we do have charities that pick up donations so you don't have to go anywhere).
When I go through clothes, there's a ton of trying on and mirror scrutiny. It's a workout routine in itself and tiring. And I just went through ALL my seasonal clothes. And I really hate trying on foundation garments!
Three piles: Ditch, Donate, and Maybe. Maybe is the toughest, and I STILL have too many clothes. But I'm reluctant to get rid of anything that's well-made because clothes these days seem made of paper and turn into rags after just a few washings.
reve, you can do this. 👍🏻
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Post by mylittlescholar on Jun 17, 2021 10:32:41 GMT -5
hello fellow clothing person! 
having criteria has made all the difference. knowing what colors, design lines, fabrications, patterns, etc. make me feel good and make me look good simplifies things a LOT. For example, after I read this book , written by the original What Not To Wear team from the UK, I donated 60 (yes 60) tops in one go that were hanging in my closet unworn because I suddenly understood WHY they were unworn. Jewel neck tops, no matter how fabulous the color and pattern, give me "bubble boobs." It was so freeing!
I'm also a big fan of Carol Tuttle. I have gradually honed in on only bringing absolutely spot-on items home, which makes it way easier to let go of items that are even a little "off."
My weight fluctuates a lot--hello, pandemic 29--so right now I am going through them all KonMari style and boxing up the smaller things I love by size. I'm in 14s, and am gonna let go of the 6s next.
A big aha for me came as I started to thrift and donate. There is an OCEAN OF CLOTHING OUT THERE! I think of myself as catching them from the stream, and the releasing them back into the stream when I am done. It started with white t-shirts. I realized I could keep finding better and better ones, and letting go of ones that weren't as good. There is no end to this stream! I don't buy clothing, I rent it. I consign regularly.
I also realized that I wanted to release clothing back into the stream while there was still some use to them. Old clothes and rags are a HUGE source of waste, so the longer they can be in circulation, the better. I find myself taking better care of my clothing, dressing nicer, dressing in my "best" clothes instead of saving them, etc. My closet is looking pretty sweet right now.
If you have room, I highly recommend investing in some rolling racks. I have two. And also invest in matching skinny hangers. Both of these things make the whole process much easier.
PS the "perfect charity" is actually a common issue for us. its an aspect of perfectionism that can really put a monkey wrench in the plans. yay for amnesty!
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Post by nonchalant on Jun 17, 2021 10:53:39 GMT -5
I'm looking at my All-Purpose room and thinking in terms of percentage: what percentage of yarn balls etc. would I have to store or donate to significantly reduce visual clutter? Because everything is in white bookshelves so it's put in the open. And it would have to be something on the order of 25-50%. ......and ps, i don' WANNA!....
But I wonder if this percentage thing could apply to clothes?
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Post by phoenixcat on Jun 17, 2021 14:03:40 GMT -5
I sort of work backwards on my clothes. I have my designated space assigned. When I can't close drawers - I know I need a purge. When all my hangers are full and I'm starting to use wire hangers from the dry cleaner- I know I need a purge. Every time I do a purge - I keep five extra hangers per rod. That is 35 extra hangers - that's a lot for just the hanging category. DH and I are fortunate to have a large walk in closet with a drawer system. So it takes the place of dressers. shoe racks, open shelving for purses, etc. So my tip would be to figure out where things are going. Then put the stuff in there. Once it is full - then every new thing you want to keep - you will have to see if it is more important to you than what you already have saved. That way you are keeping the best of the best and have room to put it all away. And, as mylittlescholar said - there is no shortage of clothes when you need more. And, as you said, it would be nice to enjoy new things as a reward for losing some weight. Full confession, I do have a bin of one size down clothes. But once again - I have a designated space for those bins. And, I don't add any more bins - what I'm saving for whatever reason (vintage, memory or different sizes) has to fit in the existing bins in their existing spot. Others may need bins for off season clothes. I actually have all of our fancy ethnic wear in another closet all together. My DH is from another country so we have lots of clothes we wouldn't normally wear in the US. And, then we have a hall closet for all of our jackets and winter items. A google search and maybe a phone call will help you with ideas on give away clothes. A lot of charities around us have reopened. Some charities have outside bins. A consignment shop may actually go through your stuff but a charity will just take whatever bins and bags you bring assuming they are accepting clothes. And, they will either give you a blank receipt to fill in yourself or will make it very generic - 2 bags of clothes, 1 box of dishes, 1 working toaster, etc. and they usually expect you to assign a fair value for the donation. And, if you are in the US - might not even be worth the receipt and putting on your taxes. A lot of people don't itemize anymore. That is sort of the way I'm doing my whole house - figuring out where things will live and then once it gets too much - things have to go. In theory it sounds good  but in practice - my house is fairly big so that still means I'm keeping WAY TOO MUCH.  Good luck! You can do it! PC |
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Post by reve on Jun 17, 2021 15:33:09 GMT -5
Yes, Konmari definitely seems too much for me! There are a lot of clothes that I have that I think are fantastic and definitely make me feel joyful....and don't fit me. There are things that fit me, and don't spark joy. I think the putting away in a box is where I am at at the moment. I got called away midway through trying to sort out a drawer of tops recently, where I had them on the bed in piles. My boyfriend went up to bed and just popped all of the stuff on the bed into a box and.....I haven't actually needed anything from the box all week. So I'm wondering about maybe trying to do some sort of rolling system of emptying a drawer and then returning things that I actually wear to a drawer. That might require a fair bit of space though, so we'll see. Thank you  I definitely feel like a massive baby about this, but encouragement definitely helps! hello fellow clothing person!
having criteria has made all the difference. knowing what colors, design lines, fabrications, patterns, etc. make me feel good and make me look good simplifies things a LOT. For example, after I read this book , written by the original What Not To Wear team from the UK, I donated 60 (yes 60) tops in one go that were hanging in my closet unworn because I suddenly understood WHY they were unworn. Jewel neck tops, no matter how fabulous the color and pattern, give me "bubble boobs." It was so freeing!
I'm also a big fan of Carol Tuttle. I have gradually honed in on only bringing absolutely spot-on items home, which makes it way easier to let go of items that are even a little "off."
My weight fluctuates a lot--hello, pandemic 29--so right now I am going through them all KonMari style and boxing up the smaller things I love by size. I'm in 14s, and am gonna let go of the 6s next.
A big aha for me came as I started to thrift and donate. There is an OCEAN OF CLOTHING OUT THERE! I think of myself as catching them from the stream, and the releasing them back into the stream when I am done. It started with white t-shirts. I realized I could keep finding better and better ones, and letting go of ones that weren't as good. There is no end to this stream! I don't buy clothing, I rent it. I consign regularly.
I also realized that I wanted to release clothing back into the stream while there was still some use to them. Old clothes and rags are a HUGE source of waste, so the longer they can be in circulation, the better. I find myself taking better care of my clothing, dressing nicer, dressing in my "best" clothes instead of saving them, etc. My closet is looking pretty sweet right now.
If you have room, I highly recommend investing in some rolling racks. I have two. And also invest in matching skinny hangers. Both of these things make the whole process much easier.
PS the "perfect charity" is actually a common issue for us. its an aspect of perfectionism that can really put a monkey wrench in the plans. yay for amnesty!
If rolling racks are what I think they are (a clothes rail on wheels?) I have two rails, though not on wheels, but they're fairly accessible. One of the two rails I haven't worn anything on it in probably at least two years. I am planning to box a lot of that stuff up. I had been thinking of trying to get vacuum bags to store things like that, but I do think that I'm just making excuses to keep more stuff so I'm holding off on that purchase for now. The second rail I haven't worn much of lately, though some of that is a size issue and are things I will definitely wear if I can shift my pandemic weight gain, and also occasion dresses that I've not been able to wear for the last 18 months. I will look up Carol Tuttle  I love the catch and release idea too! This is something I really want to manage. Growing up, I would get screamed at about a messy room, but I was encouraged to just get things out of sight, rather than to organise things. There was no system and no figuring out where things should be kept to allow me to keep things tidy. With clothes, I have two chests of drawers that I have fairly organised - everything that is put away has a spot, though actually putting away laundry is something I have always been atrocious at - and two rails, one of which I may try and get rid of if I can, though they don't take up a lot of room at least.
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Post by nonchalant on Jun 18, 2021 7:19:31 GMT -5
You're all inspiring me! I went through some of my hoodies and got rid of a black velvet number that was a little snug; besides, I'm moving away from black. And velvet. 😜
As I go through clothing, I find more to give away, but only after a certain rest period and as the closet becomes less crowded. I can 'see' what's begging to be let go.
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Post by reve on Jun 18, 2021 11:35:17 GMT -5
I had a whole lotta love for black velvet earlier in my life! (And probably do have a black velvet pyjama top or two somewhere)
Last night, I went through all of my trousers and removed anything that I don't think would fit me. It's so empty! It made me realise that I'm meant to be seeing bf's family on Sunday, and having not bought non-work clothes since the pandemic started I'm really not sure I've got anything to wear, but am resisting the urge to express order something. I've got a skirt I bought in the sales this Christmas that I can maybe try and make into an outfit!
I am going to try and sort through t-shirts this weekend, and the very bottom drawer of that set is somewhat wedged shut, so I need to sort through woolens (so annoyingly bulky!)
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Post by goldenthreads on Jun 18, 2021 12:10:02 GMT -5
Great job on the trousers. I'm sure you'll be able to make a good-looking and comfortable outfit for Sunday among what you already have.   I glanced at your earlier post and saw that you mentioned a rail that has clothes you probably haven't worn for two years. Then I remembered: Dust! Dust on those upper surfaces can be a clue that maybe you don't need certain items. (If they're just too small, you can box up or donate.) Dust has sometimes pushed me into an actual decision.  |
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Post by reve on Jun 19, 2021 10:08:15 GMT -5
Oh heavens, there is a lot of dust in our bedroom. Even on the stuff I want to keep! It's a good tip though, but I think that would result in absolutely everything that is currently hanging getting boxed up. (Maybe that will be the case!)
Further progress this morning: I had two IKEA bags full of clean clothing sitting in the bedroom not put away. I have gone through and sorted those, and it's such a strange feeling to be able to put clothes away into empty or half-empty drawers! I was fairly ruthless at putting some things that I know I'm not going to wear any time soon into the "storage" box, even if I still feel that I couldn't be anywhere near as ruthless at actually getting rid of them! I then used one of the empty bags to bag up dirty laundry since my laundry bag was downstairs for the weekend wash, and folded up the other. Bare floor where I am not used to seeing it!
The big plastic crate I put out for clothes is now full and overflowing. I may try and fold it in a more space-saving way if I can. If I can get some (I think mostly empty?) cardboard boxes out of the spare bedroom, there is a little spot beside the couch in that room where I could pop it out of the way, and potentially start a second box in the bedroom.
Next steps are to get my normal weekly laundry done, and then aim to get the extra bag done too as soon as the normal stuff is dry. I am going to aim to try and clear my kitchen table of laundry this week - I finish work for the summer on Thursday, so if I can get my work clothes washed on Friday, they will hopefully be able to be put away for the summer pretty quickly. At some point fairly soon, I want to go through my sock drawer and get rid of anything with holes, and then maybe pyjama drawers.
In positive news, I got a letter this morning that my car loan will be paid off in full in a fortnight. This year has been a good one for my finances thanks to a tax refund and a weekly savings plan, and I think some of my issues with holding on to belongings are definitely from the "growing up poor in a family that also grew up poor" so being able to tell myself "if you need it, you can replace it" is going got be a big help.
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