mramom
New Member
Joined: January 2023
Posts: 1
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Post by mramom on Dec 31, 2022 21:29:51 GMT -5
Hello,
I found this site after discovering a relative has been living in 3rd degree squalor. I am feeling hopeful after reading posts and knowing that there are people out there who have bravely disclosed their stories so that others can find fellowship and courage. Thank you
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Post by outfromundah on Jan 1, 2023 1:28:53 GMT -5
Hi mramom! I read your post before you edited it, so I won't mention what you took out. But I just want you to know that this is a very safe, compassionate, and non-judgmental online community. The Squalor Discussion board and Blogs are in the Members-Only part of the forum, so perhaps posting something over there (if you feel ready) might make you feel better about going into more details. Nevertheless, no matter how much you wish to divulge, we're here for you. Ask questions or read as much as you want - you are welcome here!
For your relative, if they are ready to address their squalor, they can start by throwing out obvious trash. A lot can be accomplished if they can walk through a room with a trash bag and toss out anything that they know is clearly garbage. It might seem like it's barely making a dent, at first, but it's a good initial step in the right direction.
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Post by sillycanuck on Jan 1, 2023 9:32:36 GMT -5
Welcome to the site  |
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Post by ClimbingPyramids on Jan 3, 2023 22:25:46 GMT -5
Welcome to our community, mramom! Addressing how to communicate with your relative is key. Please let us know if you have questions. Perhaps begin with assuring her or him that s/he is not alone. |
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Post by ClimbingPyramids on Jan 3, 2023 22:27:30 GMT -5
Also, I was thinking about outfromundah's guidance about starting with a large trash bag. With respect, outfromundah, large trash bags, especially the big black ones, cause me great anxiety and may do the same for mramom's relative. Here's why I fear them: I continually concerned that someone will throw something in there that I don't want thrown away, but once it's in there,you pretty much has to go through the entire bag to either retrieve an item or confirm that all the contents are to be discarded (I have done this more times than I care to admit). I generally feel a bit less anxiety about white kitchen size bags because I can see into them more easily. I also hate when helpers tie up the kitchen bags, because I tend to still want to at least take a glance in them before they go away. |
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Post by outfromundah on Jan 4, 2023 1:11:34 GMT -5
Also, I was thinking about outfromundah's guidance about starting with a large trash bag. With respect, outfromundah, large trash bags, especially the big black ones, cause me great anxiety and may do the same for mramom's relative. Here's why I fear them: I continually concerned that someone will throw something in there that I don't want thrown away, but once it's in there,you pretty much has to go through the entire bag to either retrieve an item or confirm that all the contents are to be discarded (I have done this more times than I care to admit).
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Post by joyinvirginia on Jan 6, 2023 15:59:06 GMT -5
Welcome miramom! I hope you can get some good ideas here that your relative may find helpful.
Outfromundah, I like the 13 gallon size kitchen trash bags, like combing pyramids. I am short and they are the perfect size for me! Don't like the bigger ones because they can get so heavy and unwieldy, that I can't handle by myself. Small plastic grocery bags work too.
When you or relative do fill up a trash bag, best advice is to dispose of it right away. Take to dump, or take to your house to put out for trash pickup.
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Post by outfromundah on Jan 7, 2023 1:06:37 GMT -5
Outfromundah, I like the 13 gallon size kitchen trash bags . . . Don't like the bigger ones because they can get so heavy and unwieldy, that I can't handle by myself. Small plastic grocery bags work too.
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Post by Nael_C on Jan 7, 2023 6:15:09 GMT -5
Welcome and I hope you can help your relative to live in a more comfortable and happy environment.
It is not impossible, since people have and are doing it as we speak!
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Post by ClimbingPyramids on Jan 8, 2023 14:42:42 GMT -5
Also, I was thinking about outfromundah's guidance about starting with a large trash bag. With respect, outfromundah, large trash bags, especially the big black ones, cause me great anxiety and may do the same for mramom's relative. Here's why I fear them: I continually concerned that someone will throw something in there that I don't want thrown away, but once it's in there,you pretty much has to go through the entire bag to either retrieve an item or confirm that all the contents are to be discarded (I have done this more times than I care to admit). Thank you for your thoughtful response, outfromundah, and I truly appreciate that my comments did not cause offense. I don't even like using big black bags (I call them "blags") myself, but understand that they work for so many people. : )
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