jamesk
New Member
Joined: January 2023
Posts: 64
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Post by jamesk on Jan 7, 2023 16:53:35 GMT -5
Hi, I’m James, I’m a squalor. First step is admitting it, right? I’m also a recovering alcoholic/addict, my clean date is 1/1/18. Now to tackle this squalor problem. 🙌🏻
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Post by goldenthreads on Jan 7, 2023 17:28:57 GMT -5
Welcome, James!
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Post by Unswamping on Jan 7, 2023 18:16:59 GMT -5
Welcome James. Congratulations on five years of sobriety. Yes the first step is admitting you have a problem. Is there anything special that brought you here today? Sometimes people join because if an upcoming inspection or one that just passed. Other people, like me join because they are just tried of living in filth and chaos. How can we best help you?
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Post by Nael_C on Jan 8, 2023 12:27:06 GMT -5
Welcome! Congratulations on your sobriety, what a great accomplishment!
If you did that, you can certainly managed the other and admitting the problem
is a major step! Congrats on that too!
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jamesk
New Member
Joined: January 2023
Posts: 64
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JamesK
Jan 8, 2023 13:30:12 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by jamesk on Jan 8, 2023 13:30:12 GMT -5
Here for support/suggestions.. I’ve progressed to the point of complete squalor and I’m sick of it.
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JamesK
Jan 8, 2023 14:37:55 GMT -5
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Post by outfromundah on Jan 8, 2023 14:37:55 GMT -5
Here for support/suggestions.. I’ve progressed to the point of complete squalor and I’m sick of it.
First of all, I would say to not beat yourself up about the squalor. It is what it is, and the important thing now is that you feel ready to tackle it and clean up. Good for you! And if you can even have a sense of humor about it, the better.
Now, to move forward. It is often recommended to start with anything that is obviously trash. If you look around your home and see things like candy wrappers, rotting food, broken items, old newspapers—basically anything that should have been thrown out—start with those kinds of things. Get a trash bag or even a grocery bag and start chucking stuff into it. You can go around the room in a circle, like a clock. I recommend wearing a mask and gloves while doing it, if conditions are very unsanitary, moldy, or dusty. You can also play energetic, upbeat music to make it more enjoyable.
If you want, make a game of it and see how full you can make that bag, or how far you can go around that room, within a specific amount of time. Also, it's usually not best to just keep going until you drop. Take breaks—but time them so you don't lose focus—and drink some water. Then go back to filling your bag. See if you can do that for just one room or area. And when the bag is full or even just half full (don't let perfectionism get in your way!), take it out. Don't leave it inside, if that is possible. When you are ready to do it in another room or area, go for it.
Are you in an apartment or a house?
Also, we have a phrase here called "give amnesty." If you find you are struggling with whether to toss something or not because it could or should be dealt with differently—such as donating or recycling it—just give yourself amnesty to toss it out anyway. Saving the world can come later, after you've saved yourself. The important thing right now is to get rid of the garbage.
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JamesK
Jan 8, 2023 14:59:25 GMT -5
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Post by ClimbingPyramids on Jan 8, 2023 14:59:25 GMT -5
Welcome, jamesk, I, too, commend you for five years of sobriety. I concur with outfromundah recommendations. I also recommend the discussion board here called "working in threes". It really helps me when I'm feeling overwhelmed. You can start with, for instance, TA DA: Threw one thing away. Threw another thing away. Threw another thing away. TO DO: Throw one thing away. Throw another thing away. Throw another thing away. |
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jamesk
New Member
Joined: January 2023
Posts: 64
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Post by jamesk on Jan 8, 2023 15:54:59 GMT -5
A lot of this makes me laugh, I live with my elderly Mom, who is also a squalorette, I’m her sole caretaker. I would probably go to jail and she would go into a home of some kind of I don’t do something. I literally have a huge county dumpster we’ve rented for $70 a month parked in the front door of the house for the last 7 years, that’s filled and dumped on a yearly basis. Too many animals in the house, I don’t know how 2 people accumulate so much trash.. we’re squalor to the point of animal feces and dead animals(mice)… WHY?! I do have depression and I’ve recently read that having ADHD can cause people’s brains to “lock” and leave them unable to get stuff done.. I. DONT. KNOW.. and I don’t guess it matters much at this point, I need to find a solution. I’ve started the last couple of days doing “something” daily.. it seems useless but I keep telling myself it’s just trash/dirt, it can be cleaned up! Thanks for the advice, please keep it coming. I’m real interested in WHY we do this..
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Post by wynken on Jan 8, 2023 17:44:57 GMT -5
ASHD people have differently wired brains, as well as being often smart and creative.
There are a lot of us here on this board.
Things that have helped me from way out in left field:
cheer yourself on for every little thing you do -
starting with wiggling a toe or opening your eyes when you just want to play possum
(lie still, as if dead or asleep)
token efforts count - that one thing you get to the dumpster.
try to not let things get worse.
yes the trash can in every room.
I like a dice game with destinations to go to,
then chose something to do ther.
Remember to cheer yourself on for every effort.
Write about it on one of the threads you go to.
Try to talk nice to yourself, and notice when you don't.
The first step of stopping something.
And apply the aa? principles to the other problem.
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Post by outfromundah on Jan 8, 2023 21:15:52 GMT -5
jamesk, thank you for providing us with more details. This will help us to give you more specific ideas to help you.
I can understand why you would want to laugh at some suggestions you've already gotten, when you have so much squalor. You probably could use a huge shovel to clear some space and get rid of the worst of it. And you might even try that.
While every small effort and baby step does indeed make a difference, the fact that you've been putting stuff in a dumpster and emptying it once a year, yet are still living in quite unsanitary squalorous conditions, indicates to me that you need to step up your efforts in order to make a dent.
Can you focus on one room at a time? Which one is the worst? Maybe start there and get out that shovel. Or focus on the animal poop and dead mice FIRST. Also, you may want to buy some protective overalls, like a hazmat suit (along with mask and gloves), to wear while disturbing the mess. Sure, you're already living in it, but when you start moving the stuff around, all kinds of things can get in the air and on your clothes and cause irritation or serious illness.
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JamesK
Jan 8, 2023 21:23:56 GMT -5
Post by ClimbingPyramids on Jan 8, 2023 21:23:56 GMT -5
A lot of this makes me laugh, I live with my elderly Mom, who is also a squalorette, I’m her sole caretaker. I would probably go to jail and she would go into a home of some kind of I don’t do something. I literally have a huge county dumpster we’ve rented for $70 a month parked in the front door of the house for the last 7 years, that’s filled and dumped on a yearly basis. James K., You are a very good son. I commend you. Also, I am very impressed with the cost of the county dumpster. The cost for companies to deliver these things here is preposterous -- like $200 for just a couple days.
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JamesK
Jan 8, 2023 21:27:02 GMT -5
Post by ClimbingPyramids on Jan 8, 2023 21:27:02 GMT -5
...Too many animals in the house, I don’t know how 2 people accumulate so much trash.. we’re squalor to the point of animal feces and dead animals(mice)… You are not alone. We have only one cat. Yet we have feces. Cat sneaks down to the basement and does his number 2 in the corner by the sump pump. Also, I've been too tired to empty the litter boxes. Please, dear friends, help encourage me to do this. Finally, as for mice, I encourage you to read a recent thread about cleaning items that have been inundated with mouse droppings and urine. I'll try to post a link to it.
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JamesK
Jan 8, 2023 21:29:08 GMT -5
Post by ClimbingPyramids on Jan 8, 2023 21:29:08 GMT -5
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Post by bree on Jan 8, 2023 21:52:56 GMT -5
ClimbingPyramids maybe your cat would use litter if they were clean and not go on floor? Could that idea motivate you? Easier to clean a litter than floor! jamesk I would suggest you start with animal feces clean up as your top priority. Good fir the health of the animals and the humans.
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JamesK
Jan 8, 2023 23:24:15 GMT -5
Arid likes this
Post by ClimbingPyramids on Jan 8, 2023 23:24:15 GMT -5
KitCat still snuck away even when I was emptying the litter boxes daily.
But I'm happy to report that I emptied one of the litter boxes an hour ago. Will keep it up.
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