|
|
Post by whoopsydaisy on Feb 19, 2023 3:42:12 GMT -5
I have officially graduated from messy to straight squalor. It's been a slow descent that seems to have been given a bit of a kick by lockdown isolation, a sting of job losses, an illness, and a recent bout of subsequent depression. I now find myself surrounded by my own filth on a whole new level and concerned that I'll continue to struggle with living conditions this for the rest of my life.
I live in a small space which means the amount of mess is limited (count my blessings, I suppose) but also amplified. I mostly struggle with trash buildup and not putting things away after use. I don't really have any surfaces that are available for their intended purpose, including all but a narrow strip of my bed. I find myself wanting to clean but unable to do even small cleans throughout the week. Which leaves me with these massive, exhausting cleaning sprees that I poop out on 3/4 of the way through (laundry, dishes, and that one last room never seem to get done.
I have always been messy but this level is absolutely unacceptable. It isn't just my home, it's self-neglect on multiple levels. However, we have to start somewhere and a clean environment is as good a place to start as any. I understand the whole procrastination as a way to avoid unpleasant feelings and the whole ADHD timewarp (time exists in three forms: now, not now, and OmgImLate) but this... isn't normal.
I am hoping to get some support and encouragement here. I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling ashamed and anxious about my home. I hope that this can be a safe space to share small victories as I work towards breaking this cycle and creating better habits.
|
|
|
|
Post by desposito on Feb 19, 2023 9:33:18 GMT -5
Hi daisy, welcome, you're in the right place! We have several working threads that you can join so that you can have company and list your small accomplishments. It sounds like you work during the week? I'm retired but remember how tired I was on weeknights so I sympathize, but by committing to very small work sessions (like, 5 minutes at a time) and reporting them here you can a few things done. Read around the site and you'll see there are lots of others struggling with the same things, find a working thread and jump on in!
Diane
|
|
|
|
Post by whoopsydaisy on Feb 19, 2023 10:11:03 GMT -5
Thanks for replying!
Yes, I work and go to school. I realized recently that I only have the energy to do one thing after work. So I've committed to fixing the plumbing tonight after work and taking out the trash created from doing that.
I'll definitely look around!
|
|
|
|
Post by joyinvirginia on Feb 20, 2023 14:21:25 GMT -5
Welcome whoopsydaisy! As you go along, share any special challenges and you will get lots of advice and encouragement! Do you have trash cans in every room? That helps me dispose of trash right away, and empty the cans outside when they are full.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arid on Feb 20, 2023 15:39:59 GMT -5
Most of us here have learned that our "massive, exhausting cleaning sprees" help us only in the short run. Although it is counterintuitive, we've learned that it is the multitude of little, *tiny* daily decisions and subsequent actions that serve us best. joyinvirginia has given you good advice about how to deal with trash. (Also, you might think about what might be inhibiting you about getting trash **out** of the house. I just had a phone discussion with someone who realized that she wasn't getting her trash out of the house because she hated dealing with the *scented* trash bags. She's now switching to non-scented ones!) When it comes to the dirty dishes, I recommend scraping them off (if necessary) and giving them a good rinse whenever you finish eating. Then, at least once a day, **WASH THAT DAY'S** dirty dishes + one thing from any backlog that you have. Eventually, you will be "caught up," AND you will have formed the habit of washing the dishes each day. It took me *three months* to get caught up on my backlog this way, and a *FULL YEAR* to form the habit of washing the dishes each day. (Apparently, I can be a *very* slow-learner!!  !!) Now that I have that habit, it has served me well. Deciding to take just *one* thing off your bed or off a surface each day--and following through with that decision--will serve *you* well! (Of course, this works best if you have stopped throwing other things on the bed, etc.! Lean to ETE: Eliminate the Evidence; in other words, begin "picking up after yourself" each day.) We are glad that you are here, and we hope that you find this board to be helpful! Arid |
|
|
|
Post by def6 on Feb 24, 2023 10:37:47 GMT -5
Welcome to our group! We share a lot of the same concerns: limited space, strange storage and energy running out during cleaning marathons. One thing that helped me was realizing that I had an all-or- nothing and perfectionist mindset. That I would put off doing tasks until the right time...but the right time never got here. During my many years on this forum, I have learned that (for me) it is more of an accomplishment to do little things along and more consistently. I wish you all the luck in the world as you embark on this journey!
|
|
