I cannot seem to make myself do anything Feb 19, 2023 8:48:56 GMT -5 sillycanuck, hedy, and 4 more like this Quote Select PostDeselect PostLink to PostBack to Top Post by ediebee on Feb 19, 2023 8:48:56 GMT -5 Hello everyone.I've always been messy and had a hard time organizing things. If it is on paper, I can organize it. In the real world, not so much. Execution is a different matter. Everything went extremely downhill after I was diagnosed with cancer for the first time. Squalor went into overdrive when I was diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer.No impending doom at the moment. I've been living with this for over 5 years, by the grace of God. I live in a basement apartment in a home owned by a family member. It was full of stuff before I moved in and it was filthy. They were never expecting to rent it out and they live out of state. The upstairs is rented out to strangers. I needed a place to live close to the oncology center so I could remain independent and this place fit the bill. At the time, I did not have the energy to do ANYTHING since I just had surgery and was put on chemo meds(and a slew of others). Add my stuff on top of it and, well, the mess has just multiplied. I put things in totes in an effort to organize to no avail. I can't vacuum because there is too much stuff to move. I've become better at taking out the trash, keeping the sink clean and free of dishes, and the cat litter scooped. There was a time all of that was left for a month or more. The "clean sink" is kind of a ruse because I will put dirty dishes in the refrigerator. The refrigerator also leaks and I keep a dishpan in it to collect the water and dump it.Believe it or not, it is better than it was several years ago but I don't seem to be able to organize my things. The apartment is really kind of rigged and adds a whole other layer to cleaning difficulties. There have been multiple water leaks to the point a ceiling fell in and had to be repaired. Me dealing with it is exhausting but I have nowhere else to go. I am embarrassed to be living here at this point of my life. My car has paid the price as well...a tree fell on it and I ran into a deer. It is amazing it still runs.The screened in porch is falling apart, full of leaves and stuff that isn't mine. It bothers me but I have only done a few things out there over the years.As for my hygiene is not the greatest but I've become better at it and have been writing down when to wash my hair and take a shower. Brushing my teeth is a major effort.My response to all of this is to be online all day. I no longer work. And I know this is not the best use of my time. Painfully aware. Yet I cannot seem to break free from this prison of filth.Bottom line is I cannot seem to get it together. Don't have the energy to get it together and don't even know where to begin at this point. It's been going on so long I feel like I am a ghost.Thanks for reading.