On a respite, I tell you, a respite! Mar 31, 2023 7:53:12 GMT -5 via Tapatalk cando, creativechaos, and 4 more like this Quote Select PostDeselect PostLink to PostBack to Top Post by belannadax on Mar 31, 2023 7:53:12 GMT -5 Not so much an intro as a rant, but here goes:I have made several efforts over the years to make my home liveable. I have chronic back pain, ADHD, and C-PTSD - much of which is from abusive punishment for being forgetful and messy -- you know, typical untreated ADHD stuff.My kids are big kids now. I have a tween and an older elementary schooler. My husband is, obviously, a full grown-a$$ man.All these years I have struggled to clean and educate, educate and clean. When my kids were younger, I was careful to not put unrealistic expectations on them. I even tried to accommodate their neurodivergent brains -- hey, I get it. Cleaning is not very stimulating. Audiobooks help me; maybe they'll help you.They do some tasks sometimes, and that's nice.The person I married, though. Ugh.Too many times I have struggled to clean the kitchen, end up having muscle spasms in my back, have to lie down, and by the time I can get up and walk around, all the hard work I've done has been undone. And worse.So I quit.Oh, I finally got a job for the first time in a long time. That has been helpful for my mental well-being.At work, when I tidy my cubicle, It Stays Tidy!The work I do at work -- Stays Done!After years of having nothing to define myself except "homemaker" and feeling like an absolute failure at it every single day, I finally get to feel like I'm good at something.I told my husband and kids I am on strike from housework.I do all my showering at the gym. I go to other places and use the restroom. I am sick of being the only one in my house who makes an attempt to clean the bathroom, and I clean up after myself, but whenever I want to shower I feel like I have to clean up after 3 people first.And one of them is a full, grown-a$$ adult.I eat frozen TV dinners and sandwiches and fruit. Anything to not use any dishes or do any cooking.I have not used an actual dish or utensil in months. Yet the dishes keep piling up.What are they waiting for?Every time my husband washes 4 plates and a spoon, he announced, "Well, at least I got one load of dishes done!"(We have a dishwasher. It's broken just like a bunch other stuff. I'll be damned if I have anyone over to fix stuff. Not that we can afford it, because DH's answer to "what am I gonna eat since Mom refuses to cook in a filthy kitchen" is to order from Door dash every night -- for himself. That's another story.)Anyway, I do the bare minimum to function.I take the laundry to the laundromat and make sure everyone has clean clothes, towels, and bed linens. I buy disposable plates and utensils and food that doesn't require cooking. So nobody's starving. Nobody's stuck wearing dirty clothes. I cannot stand to be in the bathroom but somehow the other 3 are managing to not smell like the Great Unwashed -- but I'll stick to the gym showers that don't make me gag, thanks.I know this cannot go on indefinitely.But what I was doing before? Working myself to exhaustion and injury only to make literally no difference because I was the only one making an effort to clean up after 4 people? That couldn't go on either.Oh, and we've got those *** roaches. I have explained multiple times all the stuff that makes those yucky bugs feel welcome, and how important it is to NOT do those things -- and nobody -- NOT EVEN THE OTHER FULL GROWN-A$$ ADULT IN THE HOUSE-- cares enough to change their habits.I'm exhausted. I'm beyond exhausted. I'm trying to get another job so I can just never be home. And also so I can move out.Maybe at this point, with all I've learned about how my brain works and the skills I've developed to function with home care tasks, I think I have a shot at keeping a non-squalid living space. Not perfect, but decent. If I didn't have 3 whole other people to clean up after. I'm sofa king done.