MessyGirl
New Member
Soon to be 'recovered' Messy Girl? =)
Joined: June 2008
Posts: 9
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Post by MessyGirl on Jun 4, 2008 1:49:28 GMT -5
Ok.. So.. Let's say that your place is a complete mess. I mean, it's bad. Every room. Some rooms more so than others. You want to start, you really, REALLY to.. But, you have been down the road before! You start throwing away, cleaning, tidying.....feeling pretty great about it.......when suddenly, nothing. Either something comes up, and/or someone messes it up! You lose hope. =/ Anyone been there before? .....So, back to the question.... Where to begin??  =) |
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Post by DJ on Jun 4, 2008 3:11:09 GMT -5
the practical literal answer for where do i begin? is.. In the bathroom. to me it's a sanctuary.. It's a small room, easy to clean by nature of the surfaces in it usually, and it's a place i can get cleaned up in, pamper and take care of myself and when it's icki it's an icki room.. and when it's peaceful it's oh so pleasing... the sort of emotional response that came up first was.. by realising that that's maintenance.. you aren't a terrible person, you're not doomed to squalor for the rest of your life, and that on some scale that's what happens in everyone's home... everyone's home backslides to some degree.. that's why everyone needs to do maintenance to keep their home up to some standard of clean whatever it is for them.. for whatever reason, not learning techniques of how to, not learning how to apply them, ill health, just being too *&^( busy and it not being the priority that keeping up with two dozen other things in life is.. whatever,there are a ton of things that can cause it.. your home just slides farther down the spectrum of need maintenance before you catch it.. so i'd start with not beating myself up, feeling bad about it, and turning it into an emotional pit. it's something that happens in every home, yours just might get farther along than other peoples, and more importantly.. farther along the Needing Maintenance Spectrum than ya want it to.... and since it's about making the life and home that you want and need.. i'd pick .. how my boyfriend put it was..., "well, start with the one thing that would make you happiest when you walk in the door to see done. get up, go for a walk, walk in and find the thing you'd most like to have done." i got my knuckles rapped when i pointed out something in the place that ticked me off, he said, "no, not 'remove the thing that makes you angriest' just, the thing that'll make you happiest to have done. work towards something positive rather than a place of fear and anger and trying to avoid something unpleasant." i really liked that advice from him. long winded response but, my thoughts are with ya  and wishing you luck |
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Post by margaret56 on Jun 4, 2008 7:19:27 GMT -5
Sounds liike you know where to start but fear failing. I'd say just start and try not to think about the past. That was THEN, this is NOW. It's like overcoming any bad habit (and yes, in some ways a messy house is the result of bad habits), it usualy take more than one try to finally succeed.
Good luck, now grab a trashbag and start tossing!
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Post by Script on Jun 4, 2008 8:38:30 GMT -5
I worked in bookkeeping and accounting, starting full-time in 1971 (plus summer work before that). Housework is exactly the same:
*it is never done: that is the OFFICIAL definition of a business: a going concern: one in which you expect there will be a tomorrow
*and tomorrow there will be new things to do: dishes to wash at home; bills to pay in the office
*there are jobs you don't have to do too often (take down the Xmas decorations; file the annual payroll taxes)
*there are jobs you have to do everyday: throw out trash; post invoices to ledger
*there are jobs you love: for me, that is setting the table; in an office, I loved accounts payable work
*there are jobs you have: for me, that is dusting; in an office, I hated chasing delinquent accounts receivables
*there are jobs you can DISCARD: I do not iron kitchen linens, as I used to do in the days of yore; in our office: we stopped sending Xmas gifts to customers, just sent one donation and a letter.
*there are jobs for which you are rewards: someone compliments you on your work
*there are jobs which no one notices: toooooo many to detail
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Post by angelinahedgehog on Jun 4, 2008 8:52:52 GMT -5
As Script says, housekeeping is ongoing. So when you get an area cleaned up, you need to maintain it. Someone messes it up, it has to be cleaned up again.
You can't really get away from that.
Some areas are easier to maintain than others, of course (there's a thread elsewhere on these boards about how to keep a dining table clear), but there will always be maintenance needed.
Which means something along the lines of... before you empty out a closet, make the bed, wash the dishes, and get the dirty laundry into the hamper. Maintain the stuff you've cleared and cleaned before clearing and cleaning a new area.
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Post by metamorpha on Jun 4, 2008 9:35:22 GMT -5
This is an ongoing issue for me as well. There was a thread not long ago about the high of cleaning up a huge disaster compared to the menial task of cleaning up a space that's just a little messy. I think this may be part of my problem, which definitely has an impact on maintenance. (A word I'm bound to finally remember how to spell if I post here often enough.  ) AH gave some excellent advice though. Clean the "cleaned" rooms first, and you'll continue to make progress -- plus build the habits you need to keep your home clean when they're all done. |
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Post by WestsideStory on Jun 4, 2008 11:10:33 GMT -5
When I was searching the internet for info, advice and support for my clutter issues, I ran across a site maintained by someone called Flylady. I couldn't get into it very much, and left the site fairly quickly -- her personal style is markedly different than mine. But I did remember two of her suggestions for starting out decluttering: Make the bed every day Leave nothing in the sink Those two, easily manageable islands of cleanliness and order give you a lot of positive energy -- I am not a total slob; see, I can do something to take care of myself; wow, I'm not totally hopeless; that sort of thing. The little successes create a foundation that allows you to go forth and do a little bit more -- and then a little bit more -- and then a little bit more. If we do things often enough, they become a habit, and second nature. Rigorous honesty department: As I sit here at 9 a.m. PDT, my bed is made -- YEAH! -- but my breakfast dish is soaking in the sink and in the adjacent sink is a very large pot which I rinsed out and left there, upside down to drain, and then forgot about until I put my breakfast dish there this morning. ! It's always about the progress for me, not the perfection. WestsideStory |
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Post by ramatama on Jun 4, 2008 12:40:36 GMT -5
maintenance. (A word I'm bound to finally remember how to spell if I post here often enough. ) Main 10 and (-d) ce [letter c ] (-d=no dodging) ce= see what i can do! my "main 10" are my 10 areas bedroom bathroom kitchen entry living room laundry plants/balcony menu (food shopping, storing +cooking) mail (i.e desk) <- hopeless at the moment let go of one thing |
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Post by metamorpha on Jun 4, 2008 17:09:58 GMT -5
Main 10 and (-d) ce [letter c ] (-d=no dodging) ce= see what i can do! my "main 10" are my 10 areas bedroom bathroom kitchen entry living room laundry plants/balcony menu (food shopping, storing +cooking) mail (i.e desk) <- hopeless at the moment let go of one thing That is an AWESOME mnemonic device, rata!  My main 10 are (probably): Family Room Kitchen Bathroom Bedroom 1 Bedroom 2 Side room 1 Side room 2 Downstairs bathroom Music room Garage/Basement - big tie ... probably garage |
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Post by heylady1 on Jun 4, 2008 23:10:34 GMT -5
MessyGirl wrote:"Either something comes up, and/or someone messes it up!
You lose hope. =/
Anyone been there before?"
Every single day. There have been days when I complained about it, there have been days when I have just dealt with it. The best advice I've found was the story of Fivecat on the SS site and in there she said: "What had to be done, had to be done, and it was up to me to do it". It was then I pretty much accepted the fact that nobody else was going to do these things, that nobody else was going to help me and that I'd be better off if I spent the energy getting things done rather than feeling put upon. So for the most part I just keep plugging away on the maintance and try not to let it all get to me. (Not to say I don't have my off days you know!)
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Post by reesa on Jun 5, 2008 22:49:31 GMT -5
It never ends.
but if you clean little areas up at a time, then when they get messed up later it's somehow easier to clean them and keep up. Just keep going...even raindrops will wear away a mountain
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Post by fluffernut - now Jannie on Jun 6, 2008 1:53:46 GMT -5
Hope this isn't too repetitive. Start with something small. My bathroom always looks pretty good. It was modernized just 3 years ago, and there's tile everywhere, so I can clean it in just a few minutes. I jump in an take a shower. While it's wet I spray on cleaner and wipe with a washcloth. I get out, dry off and dress, then pick up all the towels and clothes. Clean the toilet. Sweep and mop the floor. Voila-done! Then I quick-clean the kitchen. Wipe off the table, stovetop and counters. Sweep the floor, swiffer WetJet the floor. Take out the garbage. Another room done. Then remove the garbage from the rest of the house. Move from room to room, it doesn't get done in one day. Some things don't need to be done that often, like Taking down Christmas decorations. Some things need to be done every day, like cooking. Dinner-dishes-duds can keep your family going even when you're not feeling up to much. Reward yourself. A good TV show, a cup of coffee, a shopping trip, a manicure,. Don't beat up yourself. Progress, not perfection.
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troubledmom
New Member
Put one foot in front of the other and soon......
Joined: June 2008
Posts: 26 
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Post by troubledmom on Jun 6, 2008 2:32:38 GMT -5
Where to start? Where ever you are at this moment.
You can't start where you were yesterday or last week, so start where you are right now.
When I am overwhelmed at where the squalor level is I pick something, anything to get myself started. Sometimes it is picking up all the dirty dishes in a room, gathering all the laundry from a room, or picking up obvious trash off the floor. Other times it may be clearing off and cleaning a counter or table. And for those times when I can't decide where to start I look to my squalor sisters to give me direction. I'll ask them where should I start today and someone will tell me or tell me where they are starting and so I am able to get going.
It really doesn't matter where you start, just that you actually START. As someone once told me and I have learned how true it is, doing SOMETHING is ALWAYS better than doing nothing. So it doesn't matter if you are starting with trying to do a whole room or just an endtable.
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Post by onwardandupward on Jun 6, 2008 7:04:14 GMT -5
MG,
Oh, yes, I can totally relate. The Flylady idea of keeping the sink clean and the bed made, well, I think it just didn't fly with me. I wasn't really motivated. I have had some success getting motivated by cleaning the bathroom first. Small, easy to clean and it is pretty obvious which items belong in the room and which don't.
Still, when I am in that place that borders on a feeling of futility, the thing that has proven to work the best is the rotation method I learned from reading the Flylady site under the subject of emergency cleaning (or something similar).
The basic principle is to work in an area for 15 minutes, using a timer to know when time is up. Then you stop and move to a different area of the house and work there for 15 minutes. One more 15 minute session (back where you first started or a third completely different place). Then after three 15 minute sessions, you take a 15 minute break. What happens to me when I do this is that every room I touch gets a bit better, but I don't get bogged down and off course, because the timer stops me. Plus the breaks are mandatory, which seems to help a lot for me.
I have taken this one step further using chat to really get the motivation going. One of my favorite ways is to make a list of 5 - 10 items that would take 15 minutes. Sometimes the list looks like this:
A. Clear off dresser in bedroom
B. Unload and reload dishwasher
C. Scrub toilet
D. Work on living room
E. Make bed and put away clean clothes
F. Clean stovetop
Then I take my list to chat. If someone is there, I ask them to pick a letter, and then I set my timer and go work on that item. Chat tends to mean I do task, break, task, break instead of task, task, task, break- but the motivation typically ends up helping me work longer overall, and more gets done....and it is FUN. If nobody is in chat, I just start from the top or roll the dice to pick my chore.
It sounds counter-intuitive to me that the rotation method would speed up cleaning, but it does. Maybe because I tend to get overwhelmed, and when the goal is to work for 15 minutes instead of to achieve total perfection in a room, I tend not to get bogged down or look for excuses. The best part of all is that after I start seeing the progress that these little sessions of working have made, the motivation kicks in.
My advice is to try a few different things suggested here and see what works best for you. Be gentle with yourself. You are here because you want to change your living situation and that is a huge step in the right direction. Getting the home under control can be a gradual process for many of us. I am still trying to figure out how to keep from backsliding. Over the years, it has gotten much, much better, but I haven't mastered the art of never letting it go beyond what I can clean in a couple of hours. That's my goal. And I know I will eventually get there....and so will you!
(((hugs)))
Onward
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Post by rexroth on Jun 6, 2008 11:19:57 GMT -5
Where I started was to take stuff off the bed and chair so I could sleep and sit down, used masses of pine disinfectant on places visited by my cat, cleared the kitchen sink and the bathroom basin and then made a cup of tea and settled down having made a start and that was over seventeen years ago.
The next day I started bagging and throwing out rubbish and so on...
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