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Newbie
Jun 10, 2008 15:37:41 GMT -5
Post by squirrelgirl on Jun 10, 2008 15:37:41 GMT -5
I am trying VERY hard to overcome hoarding. It's tough going it alone, so I hope I can find some support here.
Although I know INTELLECTUALLY that what I do, (i.e., hanging on to things or buying duplicates of things "just in case"), is not the norm, I have a VERY difficult time with it. I feel like this is soooooooo integrated into my personality, and I am so afraid that I won't be able to overcome it.
A few months ago, I donated 5 pairs of old jeans to Goodwill. It took me FOREVER to feel like this was "okay" to do. I looked at them, recalled the "memories" associated with them, then I finally decided...okay, I can give these up. I wished there was someone there, applauding my decision, because it was MAJOR for me!!!
Since then, I have tried to do little things. Even throwing away a tag from a new piece of clothing is hard for me. My brain tells me that I may need to know the brand name or the sku # or some other information about the item. I know this probably sounds crazy, but that's how my mind works!!!
Another problem I have is buying two of everything. I buy one to use, and one to keep. (Again, I know this porbably seems crazy!!!)
Anyway, I hope I can correspond with some others out there who maybe have the same problem. My house is looking more and more like some kind of factory outlet...and all the "stuff" is taking over.
I really need moral support so I can DO THIS and not give up!!!
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DG
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 86
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Newbie
Jun 10, 2008 18:32:52 GMT -5
Post by DG on Jun 10, 2008 18:32:52 GMT -5
Hi Squirrelgirl and welcome  I find that knowing things don't make sense doesn't get your hand moving towards the rubbish bin or your feet not taking you to the checkout, but it is a big step if you can reach the stage when that inner voice speaks at the right moment and you listen to it. Well done parting with those jeans. Like you, memories pop into my head with lots of my stuff and going through it takes a lot of time and emotions. Being able to let go of things isn't easy and you should be really proud of yourself. I can really relate to your feelings over throwing a clothes tag. I bought my son a new pair of school shoes today and told him to cut the tags off. I just picked them up off the settee before I came on here and was stood in front of the rubbish bag for ages .. you'd think I was deciding if I needed to keep a washing machine manual rather than info on how wonderful the leather coating on these shoes is. Finally my inner voice said just do it and have some 'me' time on the pc. Once it was in the bin I realised just how long I'd stood there as the tv show I was watching had finished and another one started. I'm not crazy and neither are you, we're just taking a long time to decide that things aren't needed. I haven't bought 2 of everything, but I'm finding it hard to throw duplicate things that have come from the rental homes I used to let. Partly because I'm afraid that something might break and we won't have the money to replace them, but mostly because of a feeling that I'll make our things break as a consequence of being so reckless. I know that what I'm thinking is daft and yet the feeling of dread and fear is overwhelming at the same time. So you aren't alone and have good reason to celebrate every single thing that you manage to move out of your home like I do. Keep posting your triumphs so I can celebrate with you and you'll be helping me keep motivated too. DiamondGal. |
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Newbie
Jun 10, 2008 21:01:22 GMT -5
Post by crazycatlady on Jun 10, 2008 21:01:22 GMT -5
Welcome, SquirrelGirl! I'm so glad that you found us! It sounds like you are already making great progress in identifying behaviors that you want to change! Woo hoo! And 5 pairs of jeans donated, that is WONDERFUL!
I hope that you will find lots of help here at SOS! As you reclaim real estate in your home, and get little areas of open space, I think that it will become easier to let go. I didn't truly realize how much space my clutter took up before. Now it is wonderful to see the kids pull out a board game, and spread all over the floor, playing together. I still have to remind them to clean up when they are done, but the SPACE is just so wonderful.
And kitchen cupboard space! I still struggle to keep it clear, but cooking and baking is a breeze when you have clean spaces to prepare the food, and clean dishes to put things in! I'm telling you, my friend, these things still amaze me, but it is wonderful to have these usable spaces in my home!
My best advice to you is to keep posting here at SOS. Let us know of your victories, because we WILL cheer you on! Also let us know when you can't seem to get through things...you will be cheered and nudged then, too.
Welcome! 
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Newbie
Jun 11, 2008 5:44:16 GMT -5
Post by squirrelgirl on Jun 11, 2008 5:44:16 GMT -5
Thank you, DiamondGal and CrazyCatLady. This is the kind of stuff I need to hear. When I look at the PILES of stuff I have all over the place, I get very discouraged. But, as the saying goes, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Yesterday, I was only able to throw ONE thing away. It was the packaging to an optical mouse that I got for my birthday...which was a couple of months ago! I kept the instructions and the warranty info, but I got rid of the packaging. Well, at least that is one less thing.
Do you recommend any particular forum here? Which one has worked best for you?
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Newbie
Jun 11, 2008 10:22:20 GMT -5
Post by pegasus48 on Jun 11, 2008 10:22:20 GMT -5
 Great job on throwing away the jeans! And another woohoo for throwing away the packaging!!
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Newbie
Jun 11, 2008 10:31:20 GMT -5
Post by squirrelgirl on Jun 11, 2008 10:31:20 GMT -5
Thank you, pegasus48!
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Newbie
Jun 11, 2008 11:31:02 GMT -5
Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jun 11, 2008 11:31:02 GMT -5
Do you recommend any particular forum here? Which one has worked best for you? Each of us is different ... so I don't know what would work for you. You can try them all and see what feels right Many people like "Working in Threes". It is a daily thread on the ListZilla forum. If you read the introduction (first post) on any of those Working in Threes threads, you'll get the concept. And, if Working in Threes is too intimidating, it's perfectly fine to do "working in ones" or adapt things to whatever you are able to handle. You could post on Working in Threes, and include things like "got out of bed" or "drank coffee" as a "ta-da". Some people enjoy posting together with others on threads like that. Others prefer to have their own personal thread, and add to it daily. Some post lists of To-Do. Others NEVER post "to-do lists" as they find that intimidating. They post just lists of "Ta-da" -- every little thing they've gotten done. Some do both. Others just post once in a while, whenever they feel inspired or scared. Some love ListZilla in which action steps are listed. Others prefer the main (general forum) in which concepts and problems are discussed. Do whatever feels right for you. _ |
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chunkalot
New Member
Joined: June 2008
Posts: 8
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Newbie
Jun 11, 2008 15:15:52 GMT -5
Post by chunkalot on Jun 11, 2008 15:15:52 GMT -5
I cleaned out a closet today. Two cell phones, matching chargers that haven't been used in YEARS! There was a third charger. I wondered if someone could use these cell phones. Did my daughter leave a charger? They were next to a phone book for a city I left 6 or 7 years ago. I haven't used the phones, or the phone book, in 5 years. My daughter would have asked about a charger. They went in the trash.
(In the back of my miind, I wondered if these phones could be donated for a women's group.)
Then I realised they're taking MY space and I never considered donating them, before. I'm reclaiming my space, whenever possible. If I REALLY feel guilty, I'll call a women's shelter and ask. If they can use them, I'll fish them out of the trash.
I have dusty keys, warranties, manuals for things I no longer own, or have access. I have duplicates of the most insignificant things. My hoarding is my closets, cabinets, file drawer, etc. The surface is fairly tidy, so people think I'm nuts for saying the place is a mess. Just because the mess is neatly stacked, on a spare table in the dining area I never use, doesn't mean it doesn't affect me.
My bed had to be cleared off last night and I have paths. I'm working my way through. My only rule is that one room has be neat and tidy, before I go to bed. (Maybe the junk takes space in my bedroom, because it's last, in my line-up.)
Personally, if I have to walk over stuff and dig through things, it's motivating.
Best of luck!
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Newbie
Jun 11, 2008 18:39:07 GMT -5
Post by squirrelgirl on Jun 11, 2008 18:39:07 GMT -5
Hi Chuckalot! Wow, sounds like you got a lot done...that's great!
I think I'm gonna try the Listzilla forum and do Working with One. I don't know if I'm quite ready for Threes. Well, it will be a start...and knowing that other people will be reading might be the motivation I need.
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DG
New Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 86
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Newbie
Jun 12, 2008 3:18:58 GMT -5
Post by DG on Jun 12, 2008 3:18:58 GMT -5
Well done Squirrelgirl on throwing the packaging  I've found that saying I'll do something doesn't mean it will get done through illness and re-thinking whose responsibility it is to clear and throw things. Nevertheless I have made some major changes and achieved more than I thought possible. I've posted on the general board about them. I've decided to do a Ta-da thread on Listzilla to celebrate what I have done and keep an eye on other threads there for things I can join in with when confident I have the time and co-operation here to achieve them. Keep up the momentum of throwing something every day if you can, cos I'm sure remembering yesterdays success will help you manage that day's challenge. I'll look for your posts on Listzilla and if you're happy for me to post on your thread I'll keep my encouragement going. DiamondGal. |
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Newbie
Jun 12, 2008 3:56:40 GMT -5
Post by squirrelgirl on Jun 12, 2008 3:56:40 GMT -5
Thank you DiamondGal!
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Newbie
Jun 12, 2008 20:31:35 GMT -5
Post by crazycatlady on Jun 12, 2008 20:31:35 GMT -5
The WITS (Working in Threes) thread on Listzilla is very accepting. I'm certain that if you prefer to post there, you could post ones instead of threes. I've seen people post 5's...just whatever! Or people like me who post 3 todo's then do 3 other things!  !
So you can either do your own thread, or join another....whichever feels best!
Yay for throwing away packaging! And good for Chunkalot in cleaning out a closet! Woo hoo! But do NOT go back in the trash for cell phones. You have amnesty during the dig out. Later...much later, you can be sure each item removed from your home finds a good place in the world, for now just move it out!
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Newbie
Jun 16, 2008 13:59:49 GMT -5
Post by creativechaos on Jun 16, 2008 13:59:49 GMT -5
hi squirrelgirl;
I could really relate to your post and the responses; we're all in this together, and that thought brings comfort and a big smile! Congrats on getting rid of the jeans and feeling the stress and doing it anyway. The packaging I can REALLY relate to; I hoard boxes, bags, bubble wrap, peanuts, etc. I have to forcibly make myself throw away any of the above potentially useful stuff. you have found a great group of people here! Welcome!
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Newbie
Jul 14, 2008 6:42:37 GMT -5
Post by Platypus on Jul 14, 2008 6:42:37 GMT -5
 Hello Squirrel Girl. Yep, I am a bit of a collector, hubby hoards his paperwork. Is a big decision, do I keep this thing or risk throwing out something that might be needed? I slowly, very slowly realized that even if one day I needed it, I probably couldn't find it anyway.  For instance: At the moment, I can't find my pruning shears. I need to prune the grapevines. There are stashes of tools in the garage, amongst the boxes of books, papers, clothes, old sheets and junk.  It will be easier to borrow my (non-hoarding) mother's shears!
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