Some thoughts on this
Mimis Purge Primer!
Dear Laura,
It never occurs to me that anyone on this board pesters me, I'm just glad to be of help.
I know others will contribute, too, but here is something that might help when I am not around.
You are doing the world no good when you keep this much stuff. You are not "saving the world" from more stuff going in a landfill by turning your home into a personal dump. You are just creating and extension of the landfill that you have to live in, and you deserve to live in better. We all do.
Questions to ask when sorting stuff:
Do I love it?
Does it make me smile?
Does it bring sad memories?
If I do diet down into this size again, will it still be in style?
Could I get another if I really needed it?
Does it make me feel guilty for not using it when I look at it?
What is the worst that could happen if I got rid of it?
Can it be used as is, or would I have to repair it in some way?
If it needs repair, how likely am I to actually do it?
Is it keeping me stuck in the past?
Does it reflect who I am now, or who I used to be?
The 5 W questions
"Why would I need it?"
"Where would I need it?"
"What would I need it for?"
"Who would ask me for it?"
"When would I need it, and is it worth keeping that long?"
(please note that "someday" is a long time from now)
Would I be willing to pay a mover to haul it across the country?
Are there tax and/or legal ramifications to it?
If something has been in storage a long time and you haven't missed it, that is also a good sign that you don't really need it.
Every item you keep costs you. It is like your house note/rent/taxes/utilities/etc. applies to the stuff you keep as well as to yourself. You are paying "rent" to give it room in your house. Is it worth the rent?
Every item you don't need chokes you. It chokes out who you can grow to be. It sucks the life out of you. It weighs down your mind, because you have to take care of it and give it room in your house and your brain.
Advice for clothes:
If you haven't slept in it, sung in it, eaten in it, gone out in it, worn it to religious services, worked in it, lounged in it, or just plain worn it in a year or more, out it goes!
If it does not fit you right now, out it goes! If you do lose weight, it will be out of style and you will deserve new stuff anyway (only applies if you have weight you want to lose, if you don't please excuse and ignore).
If it is something you bought that you later decided you didn't like because it was not really you, out it goes! It is not going to become more your style later, and you've already spent the money on it, don't waste any more money giving it storage space that should go to clothes you do wear.
If it was your style back then, but isn't now, out it goes!
If it is not quite the right color, out it goes!
If it doesn't go with anything else, out it goes!
If it needs repair, out it goes! Unless you love being a seamstress, and will get to it within the next week.
If it does not make you feel fabulous when you wear it, out it goes! (Does not apply to one set of grungy clothes kept for painting or other messy work.)
If it does not bring a big smile to your face, out it goes!
Keep only what you love, and what brings you joy to wear. Everything else can go find a new home.
I hope this gives you a start.
messymimi
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Mimi's Purge Primer Part Deux
Dear Laura,
My half of a conversation in chat today, cut and pasted:
Do you trust that if you needed another, God would be able to provide it for you? Trust this one out to someone who needs it now, and you will get another if you need it later.
If you continually give, you will continually have, because you will make room in your life for the new.
It is taking up space in your life that you need for living right now. You can't live the future right now, live the today, trust God for the tomorrow.
I want to make room in my life for my life. Especially for my life right now. Not my life as I wish it was. Not my life as it might be in the future. My life right now.
Hope this helps,
messymimi
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From Meme's Scatter Joy
We cannot keep it all or use all- we really cannot and we need to let our illusions of value also go-
having space means I can now see and use the things I love the most and also keep them clean and tidy.
I still have a lot of things but nothing has me.
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I can't find the posts that talk about this--but this post made me think of the questions folks here have posed to me: why does your house have to be the storage unit or garbage dump for things until they find a "proper" home?
And darn I wish I could find the original posts on this because they were worded *so much better*!
There was a stage of my desqualoring where I had to make peace with simply throwing things away. They could have been recycled, they could have gone to a friend or been used at some point in the future, but they were literally choking my home *right now* and I needed it to stop. I especially needed that awful voice in my head that told me I had to live with all this stuff around me until I could give it away the 'right way' or that I might use it 'some day' to just shut up!
This might sound crazy, but I threw things away at night because I didn't want my neighbor to see me! I threw away a broken printer. I threw away bags of recycling that had been in the house for 3 years. I threw away perfectly good books and clothes.
These days enough has been moved out of the house that I can now actually recycle some again. But I draw the line with glass jars and bottles still because they are a real hurdle for me. Yes, I know, they could be recycled, it would be better if I did that, but for whatever reason I don't and so they go into the trash. When the house is squared away even further, I'm pretty sure I'll start recycling glass again, but right now I don't. (Many of you might remember my post getting rid of insane quantities of glass jars; I mentioned the gallon jars, what I didn't talk about were all the stupid little jars I had!)
I've got enough stuff squared away that for the most part I have patience to take a single bag of stuff to Goodwill, so it's not too hard to create that "to go" bag. But somedays I'm short tempered, out of sorts and I just throw stuff away.
Likewise, my rule around stuff that "could go to someone". If someone really wants my stuff, they can come get it the same day that I call to tell them about it. If they can't, it goes to Goodwill, end of story. Who am I to say who God has intended my stuff to go to?
I literally had this happen for me this month. Years ago we used to use these super soft light merino wool long underwear for our daughter as an extra layer to keep her warm in the winter. The woolies came from Europe and were very expensive. I held on to multiple sizes for years, thinking we would have another child (we didn't, got divorced instead), or that I would find the "right person" to give them to.
Instead it became part of the collection of stuff choking me to death and overwhelming my house. So in the course of desqualoring I came across the first couple of sets of these woolies, and although I was horrified, I gave them to Goodwill.
Then in December I came across what I thought was the last set. I called Friend #1, she promised to pick them up; I attached them to my side door so she could just grab them when she needed to. She didn't get them, so I gave them to Friend #2 who had shown up and her son was the perfect size!
Friend #1 called several days later--she knew my whole policy on all this and was disappointed but understanding.
GUESS WHAT HAPPENED--that very afternoon I unearthed *another set of woolies* the perfect size for Friend #1's child! Because the original set I'd planned on for Friend #1 didn't fit her child perfectly, but they were perfect for the child of Friend #2!
That really convinced me that I don't actually know who my stuff is best for. Sometimes God/Fate/the Universe/Spirit of Generosity has a completely different plan that I really don't know about, and if I get in the way of it by keeping all the stuff in my poor house instead of letting it out there into the flow of life--well then no one actually gets to experience any of the benefit.