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Post by echo on Jan 22, 2010 22:59:19 GMT -5
There have been times before this that I have decluttered my home. With only one room left to clean before having a clutter free house, I am beginning to experience the same feelings I have everytime my home is 0 degree. I love the way everything looks but at the same time it seems empty and I feel lonely and depressed in comparison to my feelings of content and wellbeing when surrounded by heaps of clutter. I am beginning to think that I won't be happy with a clean home,,,and the only reason to do this is to be able to let people into the house. I know living in clutter isn't socially acceptable, and even that doesn't matter all that much to me. The main reason I will continue to clean is that I'm afraid paramedics would refuse to come into the house, if I need them. The way I am feeling puzzles me because I still have all the stuff...didn't throw anything away,,,, just put it all where it belongs instead of piled about every room, covering every flat surface.
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Post by illuminata on Jan 22, 2010 23:50:48 GMT -5
I am as well. When my house is totally at zero, I have to start living life...and that is a very, very scary thing.
When we are squalorous, we can hide in our homes, surrounded by our stuff, and we have a reason...people can't come over because the house is a disaster. Life kind of takes on a kind of limbo, or just stops altogether. But what excuse do we have when the house is in maintenance? Living life is scary, isn't it?
This touches on a subject which I may post on after a while, when I flesh it out a bit in my head.
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Post by creativechaos on Jan 23, 2010 1:48:19 GMT -5
i am happier in clutter too. especially all my pretty, colorful, arty things surrounding me. i take visual delight in them. to others it would proabably feel like too much. i don't believe in zero degree for a visual artist. my zero degree is a useable flat surface with several attractive or useful things on it. except my art tables. they are heaped with organized clutter; drawers and bins. i know where everything is when it is put away.
art clutter is creativity to me. but i find if i clean up after each project is completed, i make closure with it and then want to go onto the next project, and have made visual and emotional room to begin it. so it is a matter of juggling when and what to clear and to know that all in life is in constant flux. just like the weather.
i am enjoying my apt. a lot since i cleaned up for inspection and then my friends' visit and no way was every flat surface cleared. too anxiety producing, for me! for others, it's essential. that's the beauty of all of our differences. and we all are different in what we can or will tolerate. this is all possible right now because i have no work, thus more time. in spring and summer that changes. i hope to have a lot of extraneous stuff outta here by summer, but i will still have plenty too much. i still acquire when something moves me, and have to watch that tendency a lot, but have not been successful curbing all acquiring. i have just cut back.
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Post by bigtimetroubles on Jan 23, 2010 7:15:15 GMT -5
paramedics will come in believe it....even if it is squalor beyond reason....they have to save a life they will save a life.....but that is not the reason for cleaning....I too keep cluttering when I am clean...because it feels okay....but then it suddenly doesn't feel okay again and I get to cleaning.....not sure what the reality of that trigger inside me is....I can let people in my unclean house and just feel like crap about the disgusting stuff in the kitchen but nothing else usually makes me feel bad....everybody has a trigger that makes them want to clean....mine is shame....I feel depressed and then shame hits for how things look to me and then I clean.....hugs btt
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Post by clutterfree on Jan 23, 2010 9:28:21 GMT -5
it seems empty and I feel lonely and depressed in comparison to my feelings of content and wellbeing when surrounded by heaps of clutter.
I think maybe you should really try to analyze WHY you feel lonely and depressed when your house is clean, and figure out what the clutter represents to you that's missing when it's gone. It seems unlikely that it's the piles of stuff themselves that make you feel good, but what they represent.
Having things, prosperity, collections, reminders of people or times past . . . those things might seem 'gone' because the clutter that represents them is put away.
So when you figure out what it is that's bothering you, you can add those things to your life in another way that's not manifested in clutter. Maybe a certain photo on the wall could take the place of some clutter that reminded you of a person or a time, for example. Or one thing that you put away, putting it on display instead to remind you of something to make you feel less lonely, without the whole pile it was buried in.
It could also represent things like security as illuminata said above, protection and insulation. The key is finding other things that make you feel in a similar way, so you dont' feel so bad.
And I think just patience and being good to yourself, too. Because going from clutter to clean is a big change, and no matter how good a change is for us it's still a change, and we tend to resist it.
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Post by clutterfree on Jan 23, 2010 9:33:13 GMT -5
CC,
my zero degree is a useable flat surface with several attractive or useful things on it.
But that sounds like 0 degrees to me too, because the things are attractive and useful, and you seem to have them there by choice. I don't consider that clutter at all.
I certainly think one person's definition of clutter might be perfectly comfortable for someone else. I've seen homes that are so beautiful and so beautifully decorated, but I could never life in them because they have so many knick-knacks and patterns and textures that I'd go mad. To me, it looks cluttery. To them and most people who like that style of decorating, it's nirvana.
I think having every surface bare and absolutely nothing out at any time isn't decluttered, it's blank, and that would depress me to no end. I think when a space is cleaned up enough that it's useful for the owner and not a source of embarrassment or shame, that's probably 'lack of clutter' more than anything. Sterile and empty sucks just as much as piled up, IMO.
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Post by missjean on Jan 23, 2010 11:07:29 GMT -5
Echo, I had this insight about my clutter over the summer. I don't know if it applies to your feelings, but I thought it might be useful:
My clutter gives me something to do, so that I feel productive even when I don't go anywhere or do anything. (And going window-shopping doesn't count.) My clutter fills a void. When dealing with my clutter issues, I don't think about people I've lost, awful ex-boyfriends, children I'll never have, etc.
My clutter gives me a place to put my worries. E.g. some speculative gossip about me (it's a small town and I'm an outsider) got back to me this week, and I was a wreck of nerves and sadness. But as soon as I went back to fretting about my clutter, I stopped worrying about whether they think I'm a *** or a lesbian or whatever. As long as they never find out about my squalor.
My clutter provides a handy excuse for not doing difficult things that might expose me to ridicule. For example, my clutter got a lot worse after I finished the first draft of my novel. I just need to rewrite it for the final draft, and the next stage would begin. But I'm afraid that 1) it might be rejected, which would be a rejection of ME or 2) it might be published, in which case my thoughts and ideas would be subject to criticism by locals who recognize my name.
I was thinking about deleting my response, because it's a bit more honest than I can stand. But Echo, I appreciate how brave you were to post about your feelings, and I wanted to reciprocate.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2010 12:49:41 GMT -5
My definition of clutter (well I probably have several, but the one that comes to mind at the moment) is stuff that gets in the way of me having a clean house. And by "clean", I mean: Can I vacuum/sweep most of the floor? Can I easily wipe off the countertop to prepare meals? Can I dust the furniture without it being a major production to move stuff aside to dust?
The things I use regularly, I like to have them where I can see them. For example, I use my calculator a lot so it sits on top of the end table instead of in the drawer. Scouring powder and rubber gloves stay on the counter instead of under the sink. Certain toiletries sit on top of the bathroom sink even thought there's plenty of room in the cabinet right next to it.
I have a friend who has small children. Their toys are all over the place and even when they're "put away", they remain in plain sight. I don't think of them as "clutter" and her house is not dirty. Everything is used and the floor is sweeped regularly. When I see her house with toys all over the floor, I don't think "squalor", I think "she has kids."
I am very familiar with that feeling of emptiness when the house is clean. All I can say is that it did get better for me, and now I prefer an uncluttered appearance. Having said that, now that I'm getting closer to maintenance mode, I can see that I'll want to decorate a little more so my house doesn't feel so bare. I never noticed my bare walls until I cleared the clutter.
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Post by gifted on Jan 23, 2010 13:27:51 GMT -5
cc,
I do not think you are describing clutter at all!
One thing that was very enlightening to me was reading "Buried in Treasures." I read it because I was pretty sure that I wasn't a hoarder, since I don't collect tin foil, only things that seem potentially iuseful to me.
It turns out that the definitions between a collection and a hoard have nothing to do with the objects, but everything to do with how they function in your life. If they create pride, and you enjoy caring for them, then it is a collection. If the stuff causes you distress, then it is a hoard.
There are physical considerations such as access to exits, hazards, etc. But it sounds like you have created a functional place that nourishes your creativity.
Congratulations!
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Post by Looking_Forward on Jan 23, 2010 14:05:10 GMT -5
simplegifts, what if the "collection" doesn't bring you any joy except for being there and causes those in your life stress?
Oh, and I agree with clutterfree's definition of clutter.
In my mind I can picture a meticulously cleaned home that was full of doilies, knick knacks, doodads and boobles. All washed and dusted several times a week and all had "a home" The backdrop to this was very busy wallpaper and just being in the house made me feel instantly overwhelmed.
My "clean" isn't ready for someone else to come in and set up shop at my desk, it's set up for me with things where I need them.
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Post by echo on Jan 23, 2010 14:57:25 GMT -5
full of doilies, knick knacksLooking_Forward...that sounds like a description of my house except for the floral wallpaper
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Post by mish on Jan 23, 2010 22:11:04 GMT -5
Echo, I think it has to be up to you. I agree with those who are ovewhelmed by the doilies and knick knacks (shudder!) but I tend to prefer empty space. For you, if you like the doilies and knick knacks, great! Just make sure your house is clean/tidy enough for you to enjoy them. If you can't see the knick knacks because they're covered in dust, or under layers of newspaper, then that's not fun. Paramedics will need space to get in and get out (if at all necessary; we hope and pray they aren't). They probably don't care whether you have knick knacks or bare expanses of nothing, as long as they can do their job. So, work towards having your place the way you want it, and don't worry about us minimalist types
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hopehope
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Post by hopehope on Jan 23, 2010 23:20:46 GMT -5
I feel you.
the reasons we are /we feel like this may be very deep.
I uncovered something the other day -- I saw how unspeakably hard I was on myself for a small error. in my mind.
In zen, the outside is very very orderly, the rules are very very carefully adhered too -- but the mind inside is utterly free.
so it works.
perhaps for us -- there is something in our minds, our thinking about ourselves and life -- that is not free -- too too tight for comfort -- and so the disorder and piles give us ease.
if we were relaxed in our heads -- the outside being ordered wouldn't rankle.
maybe?
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Post by rickie on Jan 24, 2010 1:51:35 GMT -5
I know that feeling about the clutter. Then again, I feel happier if I'm half drunk most of the day, but my life overall is not going better, nor am I living it more fully, when I'm doing that
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Jan 24, 2010 15:47:14 GMT -5
I believe much of the distress we feel when our space is decluttered is caused by
Our limbic brain recognizing the novelty of the situation,
Since all change is scarey, our "thinking brain" interprets this recognition of novelty as bad,
Plus adding in our rationalizations of our cluttering (if we didn't rationalize it, we wouldn't be able to tolerate it,)
And our anxieties about discarding,
Put it all together, and what do we get? Complex, unpleasant emotions!
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