|
|
Post by onwardandupward on Jul 16, 2008 14:26:04 GMT -5
I have to move in 25 days. I thought it would be straightforward. I thought it would be a lot of work, but I wasn't prepared for what has happened. I figured I would donate some stuff, pack some and throw away the rest. Simple, right?
Well, what has happened is that I started packing. Books were easy. Movies were tougher - hard to toss any out. I got rid of about 10% (40 movies or so). After packing books and movies, and the contents of two desks, I am stuck. 11 boxes are packed, and I haven't scratched the surface of what needs to be done I have 9 rubbermaid bins in the closet (large ones) that are filled with dash and stash. I need those bins for packing the kitchen and knick knacks, but I am stuck. There are things piled on the bed - clean laundry and other stuff, the living room is a wreck, there are all those boxes of dash and stash and I am feeling ill. I have had tummy issues for the past 3 weeks. Oh, and DS's room is totally full of junk. He has a walk in closet full of who knows what but you can't even walk in. Under his bed is cram packed with papers, games, etc. Where do I start? I am sitting here in piles of junk feeling overwhelmed.
Onward
|
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Jul 16, 2008 15:37:13 GMT -5
Hi Onward,
I'm sorry you are feeling stuck. I think what happens is that with the deadline looming, you're probably looking at the whole task which feels overwhelming. You can still break this down because you do have 25 days -- don't panic!
Are you doing the move yourself? How old is your son? Do you have anyone who can help?
If dear son is old enough the first thing is to give him a trash can/bag and tell him he's got to throw out all the junk or you'll do it and you might throw something he wants to keep. Have him start under the bed -- empty everything out and deal with all that first.
It sounds like you have a lot of good containers full of stuff and you need those for packing -- I bet if you got them and started ruthlessly sorting those you'd find a lot of junk. It always helps me to set up trash, recycling, and shred piles or bags -- and have a container (bag or box) for donations.
I admit I'd be pretty overwhelmed if I had to move right now too. But the one thing you have to guard against is panic. Panic simply won't help you. Of course you are going to want to make real sure that all your needed good things make it with you on the move and that you don't carry any junk with you so that's important. It will feel so good to lighten stuff up so that you dont' have to deal with junk at your new place.
I want to wish you good luck and say that I know how it feels to be stuck -- but if you think about all the benefits of lightening your load before you move, concentrate on that and chase the panic away -- I think you will do just fine. It's time for the garbage bags to come out for some ruthless sorting!!!! Start anywhere -- just keep moving! Your main thing is to separate what you really love and want to keep from what you'd like to get rid of. If it was me I might start with the big Rubbermaid containers cause they will be so useful for the move.
|
|
|
|
Post by messymimi on Jul 16, 2008 16:32:42 GMT -5
First, a hug.  Next, a big  on what you have accomplished so far. My advice whenever any of us get overwhelmed like this is to stop. Set a timer for 15 minutes, relax, find something soothing to drink (tea is a good choice). In your case, the next step might be to make a plan. Figure out how many hours per day -- With Breaks -- you can dedicate to tackling this. Then decide what comes first, maybe those Rubbermaid bins, one at a time. Decide to do a certain amount of clothing each day, whether that means one extra load of laundry, or two drawers, whatever units you choose. If making a complex plan seems like too much, or if you are afraid you will spend too much time planning and not enough doing, then just set your timer and go after one pile, one drawer, one container at a time. Whatever else you do, take breaks and don't look past the current job to the whole thing, it will paralyze you. Remember you have your own cheering section.   |
|
|
|
Post by onwardandupward on Jul 16, 2008 16:35:38 GMT -5
Thanks for the encouragement. DS is 18, but he is out of the country for 3 weeks. DD is 12 and is with her Dad for the next 3 weeks. I am pretty much on my own.
I think you are right. I started to panic when I started looking around and seeing how many possessions and things I have accumulated and trying to figure out how to limit that. The good news is that I the new apartment comes with a two-car garage. This means I will be able to postpone sorting paperwork (there are at least 4 large bins of this) until after the move. There are also boxes in my storage closet from my old apartment and I was going to try to go through them, too. But in case I don't have time, I am going to give myself permission to store those on one side of the garage, with the condition that I will work every month to go through at least two boxes. At that rate, in 6 months I should have gone through everything. In the meantime, I have bought a shredder so when I go through papers it will be easy to get rid of more.
I have boxes everywhere and I don't have any room to organize things. I feel like I am wasting time going from room to room all the time. I wonder if I should move the packed boxes to a central location. I could use the dining room for this if I move the table around. What do you think?
Onward
|
|
|
|
Post by moggyfan on Jul 16, 2008 16:43:40 GMT -5
Hi onward&upward,
I want to talk about something that has caused me great problems when I've been in similar situations.
Do you know the phrase "sunk costs"? In economics, it means money that has been spent that you cannot recover (e.g., you bought a prepaid movie ticket but now you don't really want to see that movie anymore; you can either go even though you have no interest or desire, or you can use the time to do something else. Either way, the money is gone).
How does this apply in your situation? Well, I sometimes find myself thinking I should keep things I don't really need or even want anymore simply because I paid good money for them. Is this at all true of you and some of your possessions right now?
You will surely want to keep the things that you love and/or use and/or that have great sentimental value, but perhaps you can let go of things you are keeping because you paid for them (e.g., do you really love all the 350 movies you've kept?)
Maybe you could look at things and imagine you were given them for free: If that were the case, would you feel so bad about getting rid of them? If the answer is No, then, hard as it might be, let them go.
Once I was finally able to do this, I was able to get rid of a TON of stuff. I found I could be pretty ruthless if I did not consider how much money I had originally paid. If something no longer serves any purpose in your life, it's not really worth packing up and moving.
|
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Jul 16, 2008 17:41:21 GMT -5
Do you know the phrase "sunk costs"? In economics, it means money that has been spent that you cannot recover (e.g., you bought a prepaid movie ticket but now you don't really want to see that movie anymore; you can either go even though you have no interest or desire, or you can use the time to do something else. Either way, the money is gone). How does this apply in your situation? Well, I sometimes find myself thinking I should keep things I don't really need or even want anymore simply because I paid good money for them. Is this at all true of you and some of your possessions right now? This principal has been what stopped me in the past -- I have just recently become aware that that is the reason I often have trouble getting rid of things. It is now making me more careful of what I acquire -- or buy! I had tremendous losses in the clothing and personal products categories. The only thing worse was keeping all the junk I didn't use and being crowded and depressed by it. I am really relating to "onward" because I can't imagine moving -- I know I'd be in at least as much stress and panic if I was facing a move even with all that I've done to de-squalor so far. |
|
|
|
Post by heylady1 on Jul 16, 2008 17:42:30 GMT -5
I would definitely do this!! That way you would have a designated area that you can put the finished boxes in....out of the way of the rest of the packing! You're doing great Onwardandupward!!  When we've moved we have always done the boxes and smaller items ourselves. We just load up the station wagon and go! You'd be surprised how much can fit in there! Then we get friends to help with the bigger stuff. I don't know if this will help but when we've moved I have taken a certain room, like the bathroom, packed it up then taken the boxes over to the new place and immediately unpack them. I do this with the kitchen too. That way at least the basic stuff like cooking and hygiene can be easily accessed. Clothes in drawers can be left in there and the drawers removed when you move the dresser. Clothes on hangers can be taken one armful at a time, etc.... Of course this doesn't apply if you are using professional movers and going all in one shot type of thing!!  I know you can do this....... |
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Jul 16, 2008 17:50:08 GMT -5
I have boxes everywhere and I don't have any room to organize things. I feel like I am wasting time going from room to room all the time. I wonder if I should move the packed boxes to a central location. I could use the dining room for this if I move the table around. What do you think? Onward That sounds like a good idea to have an area dedicated to organizing. Will your son be back in time to pack his things? I sure hope so. I remember when my son was 18, he left for the Air Force and they did pack his stuff up but he didn't have them pack everything. So a ton of stuff was left behind and he asked for things little by little.  I had to get organized with his things and then we were moving bedrooms around too so it got crazy. Good luck -- I am sure you'll be ready in time!!!! |
|
|
|
Post by onwardandupward on Jul 16, 2008 19:02:35 GMT -5
I love my friends here. It is so great knowing that you understand what I am going through and that you have very good ideas for me to consider.
Here's what I have done today (I was off work but generally have to work a full day and have two hours of commuting - the driving force behind the move.)
I have moved the dining room table back against the desk in the dining room. I have started stacking the smaller packed Rubbermaid bins on top. This is freeing up some floor space already. I think I am going to find another spot for stacking packed boxes so that when the dining area is full, I have another option. I am thinking that there is a place in my bedroom that makes sense for this since it is out of the way.
As for holding onto things, I am being fairly ruthless. I have filled three large boxes for donations already and have carried out 9 large trash bags of trash. I know there will be lots more donations once I do my master bedroom and closet. As for movies, I actually do watch movies a lot and I rewatch my favorites. I also want to host "chick flick" nights for my friends. We currently do this at someone else's house and I am looking forward to having a clean enough home to entertain. I can probably cull more movies when I unpack. I also will get rid of more movies when I tackle the rest of the VHS collection (DVD's are packed). My biggest issue is paperwork. I have not done a very good job of filing or sorting papers in years. I am even getting rid of some furniture that isn't going to work in the new place.
The sheer volume of stuff to go through is daunting. Still, it will get better if I keep chipping away at it. It is just tough to keep motivated.
My plan is to give myself some time to move with overlapping leases. I hope to have at least 2 weeks of overlap so that we can move the boxes and smaller items ourselves and only use movers for the larger pieces. When DS returns from his trip he can help with some of the heavy lifting.
I am still stressing way too much. I am not feeling well (tummy problems and heart palpitations). I will do my best. I am seeing a doctor so hopefully he can help.
For the rest of this week I will focus on the master bedroom. I will be ruthless and will get rid of any clothes that don't fit right now, as well as things I don't love.
I don't know what I would do without your support.
Onward
|
|
|
|
Post by saffron on Jul 16, 2008 19:09:33 GMT -5
I don't know your work situation, but can you get a note from your doctor for a couple of days of sick leave? I don't know if that's possible for you, but it wouldn't hurt to try.
|
|
|
|
Post by packusratus on Jul 16, 2008 20:00:44 GMT -5
I'm thinking it's clear you're getting overwhelmed. I just went through that with my room. I'm decluttering my whole place. My room is a mess. Junk piled on junk everywhere.
I say get moving (which I read your updates....you've done that.) You're right that you have to chip away at it. But also, when the kids get back have them help you. I think too often people living in squalor and clutter have it in our heads that it's all on us.
Commit to putting in a set amount of time, period. Maybe set an alarm and give yourself 30 minutes to sort before heading to work. That might help.
|
|
|
|
Post by glowworm on Jul 16, 2008 21:17:11 GMT -5
You're doing great. Can I offer a suggestion? Let the kids pack their own rooms. Seriously. If you're moving in 25 days, and both kids are gone for 3 weeks, they will have a few days when they get back, to pack up their own rooms. That gives you two less rooms to worry about right now. I lied, I have two suggestions, not one. Please think about throwing the extra stuff out now instead of as you unpack. This will make your life a lot easier over the next few weeks. Less stuff to pack and move. |
|
|
|
Post by Mystic Pegasus on Jul 17, 2008 1:54:33 GMT -5
I say this as encouragement, not in belittlement of your situation... 25 days is a lot of time... really!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!It's amazing what you can achieve if you have to... Late last year, we were contacted by a real estate guy who said he was calling about when he could come out to appraise the house we were renting, in preparation for sale. Apparently we were supposed to have been notified some time back about having to move, but the real estate company we rented through was in the process of going broke/out of business, and they hadn't done it! We were required to be out by the end of our lease (despite the fact we had originally-a year earlier- been assured that it was a long term ongoing rental, and we had not had prior notification)... which was now in approx 6 DAYS!!!!Now, maybe due to the non-notification, we could have fought it and got more time... we did try to do so in a request, not a legal way, and were refused (quite rudely) so we decided to just bite the bullet and try to make the move on time. If you could see the amount of stuff we have, you'd understand why it was such a monumental task... and maybe your situation is similar! We had no house to go to (we had an offer of one from a friend who rented a house out, but had to wait a few months as it was still occupied and they also wanted to renovate. ) So, we moved in with my parents, and stored our stuff at various relatives sheds/carports/houses etc. We would have had to hire three 40 foot shipping containers to fit it all in, if we hadn't had these other offers! As you can see, we've got a lot of decluttering to do one day! We had no time to do anything but chuck the obvious rubbish this time. We just shoved everything in boxes- no time to even label most of them- we still haven't found our saucepans- and most of the boxes remain packed still! We also had to dismantle and move a large aviary, a reasonable size shed, a swing/play set, and demolish and dump a heavy cubbyhouse. Along with all the weeding, garden maintenance, cleaning etc. We had a heap of heavy furniture to move (you could make 3 complete houses almost from what we have! We started off in a huge house and progressively moved smaller, plus collected stuff along the way. ) We put a bit of stuff on freecycle, but even though people said they were collecting, an annoying number never showed! And it was too late and too much hassle to relist. We did all the moving ourselves, in a trailer pulled by a car, travelling to various locations, between 10 and 20 minutes away depending on which one. We had a couple of people who helped us in the actual moving of stuff, and in the clean up, but did most ourselves. Admittedly, for the last 3 days we didn't sleep at all, and actually ended up finishing a day late- but it was Sunday, so no-one came to check. But we did it! We were exhausted, weak zombies by the end and it took several weeks to feel slightly normal again. We were also both sick- a nasty flu with both vomiting/diarrhea plus cold/chesty type symptoms, which made us weak as kittens to start with. So, you can imagine how hard it was... especially the time with no sleep. It's a bit harder for you, doing it alone at this stage, as I had my husband to help... and my son, but he was little help, and really ended up taking up more valuable time with complaining, arguing, refusing to help and wanting things all the time, so had a negative impact really. So... I guess I'm just trying to show you that you CAN do this move in the time you have. Just don't procrastinate and work solidly and you'll make it... hopefully with time to spare!  Go for it! We're cheering you on!!! |
|
|
|
Post by eagle on Jul 17, 2008 7:24:36 GMT -5
Onwardandupward, you can do this. Yes it takes a lot of work and yes it is very time consuming.
I am going to tell you about my last move and how I handled it and if there is anything in there that can help you, great. Some may not apply, but it worked pretty well.
We had a 3 bedroom house with a large 2-car garage stuffed to the gills with too much stuff. WAY too much stuff, accumulations form 3 households jammed into one. Stash and dash. Boxes from previous moves that had never been unpacked. Boxes and bins from 3 storage units. ETC. And we were going to move 2000 miles across country.
I did do most of the sorting and packing myself until just at the very end. It took me longer than 25 days, but that's because I had advance notice and I kept up with the plan daily.
Heres some of what I did.
I cleared the living room to use it as my staging area. I cleared the coffee table so I would have a sorting area over which I wouldn't have to bend so far. I obtained cardboard boxes from various places to use to sort, donate and pack things into. I used stickers (mailing labels) or wrote directly on the boxes with the black markers. For boxes that were moving with us, I labled all 4 sides & the top with the contents and degree of fragility (to make loading the boxes into the truck easier & to make unpacking in the new home easier.)
My method was to sort, discard, donate, pack. Daily trips to the donation station were my routine. I always had a box for trash/discards, a box for donations, a box or bag for recycle, etc. in the room when sorting. The living room in that house was right by the front door and the garbage bin and recycle bins were a short walk out the front door. So frequent trips to the the bins was my routine as well.
I used a timer to keep me from working too long without breaks. This is extremely hard work, strenuous and stressful. Breaks are a must in order to keep up stamina. During breaks I would drink water, eat meals, do laundry, go to the donation station for a drop off, go to a meeting, see a friend, whatever. At the end of every night I would clear the living room so we could watch tv without clutter, etc. Each morning I would get everything out and start anew. This method really helped me focus and stay on track. Cleaning up the room each night gave me the feeling that I had a normal home for a few hours and was a really good move.
Eventually, I was able to clear enough space in the garage that I set up a staging area there and didn't have to clean up every night in order to use the living room.
When I cleared the bedroom closet, I used the bed as the staging area. This was a great opportunity to get rid of some excess clothes. But that's another story.
Some things to remember: Pack what you can do without for the next month or two first. At the very end, pack the things you need to use every day. For example, if you drink coffee every day, don't pack the coffee pot until the end. Pack all but 2 each of eating and cooking utensils, so you can use them now. Pack all your clothes exept enough to last you a week and keep washing them. Take frequent breaks. If you don't, you get overwhelmed and exhausted. Eat and drink healthy and at regular intervals. If you don't, you'll loose your stamina. Sleep as well as you can in order to replenish your energy. Staying up late in the night to pack is not healthy. You'll probably feel more productive working with natural light as much as possible, so try and do all this work during the daylight hours. Use the night time hours for rest and relaxation and rejuvination. If you decide you cannot get it all done without using some night time hours, try and do the simpler, less strenuous tasks at night.
Another thing that I did that helped break up the tasks, and give me some physical rest was to sort through some stuff while watching tv. For example: old mail that I had stuffed into bags over the years. I found money and important papers while doing this task. This is the kind of thing you can do at night while 'relaxing.'
|
|
|
|
Post by eagle on Jul 17, 2008 7:29:50 GMT -5
I have moved the dining room table back against the desk in the dining room. I have started stacking the smaller packed Rubbermaid bins on top. This is freeing up some floor space already. I think I am going to find another spot for stacking packed boxes so that when the dining area is full, I have another option. I am thinking that there is a place in my bedroom that makes sense for this since it is out of the way. One comment based on my experience. Try to keep the heavy things off the dining room table. My husband stacked so much weight onto our dining room table, that it now squeaks everytime anyone leans on it and it drives me batty. It was those heavy electronic equipment things and dishes, etc. stacked on top of it with all the leaves in the table. Too much pressure. I keep thinking I want to replace the dining room set just so I don't have to hear the squeaking when someone leans on it. It happens even when the leaves aren't all in, but it's worse with the leaves in the table. Some things get damaged in moves, but this one really bothers me. I'll know better next time. |
|
