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Post by Perfect Mess on Sept 12, 2009 9:20:22 GMT -5
This question has been rattling around in my head for a few days now. I'm aware that a lot of folks here are hoarders and have "messy" houses, find it difficult to part with things and reasons for coming here are obvious.
But what about us folks that are not hoarders? Are there many of those around? Even tho I had a lot of stuff around, I know for sure now I"m not and never was a hoarder. I take great pleasure in purging the house of things and look forward to seeing the next bag/box of stuff exit the house with zero anxiety about it.
I think my neglect of the house was completely causeed by severe depression which I finally have a handle on now.
Has this been asked before? I wonder what the ratio of hoarder vs. non-hoarder is... HECK, I'm switching this and making it a poll.
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onedge
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Joined: July 2008
Posts: 49
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Post by onedge on Sept 12, 2009 9:42:35 GMT -5
I put not a hoarder but depressed. I don't really fight too much stuff and I really watch what I bring into the house so everything has a home. I really fight is the daily messes that pile up like junk mail thrown on the table by dh or crafts dragged out by daughter or pet hair/messes. It just seems like every morning I get up, I have to start over at ground zero. I definitely have a problem with staying on top of it during the day. I don't know if it is depression or stress or frustration, but I just get emotionally drained before the day is half over.
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Post by Perfect Mess on Sept 12, 2009 9:45:49 GMT -5
I'll tell you that in hindsight, I was depressed long before it got bad enough that I had to admit it to myself and seek help. So it's not always easy to tell if you're depressed or not. Feeling emotionally drained could be depression, but it could also be burn out, or a physical ailment or deficiency too. So I think another option may have made sense in the poll. Too late to change now tho. *shrugs*
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Post by bluefrog on Sept 12, 2009 9:59:07 GMT -5
Not a hoarder. Not depressed. I have physical problems--arthritis and asthma--that make it difficult and painful to keep things picked up and scrubbed and swept, but no anxiety about getting rid of stuff. I am trying to enjoy too many hobbies in too small a space, though. I get bored/my hands hurt if I quilt or crochet for too long, so I have two space-hogging projects out at the same time to be able to switch between them. I need to find an invisible place to park the one I'm not working on, and I need a better home for my fabric stash.
DH I'm not so sure about. Maybe with him it's that he never learned to clean house, or maybe it's a guy thing, but he doesn't do diddly unless he's specifically asked, and instructed in detail about what the result is supposed to look like. Except that he occasionally fills/empties the dishwasher, and sometimes spontaneously takes out the garbage on garbage night; so maybe there's hope.
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pippapasses
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Joined: September 2009
Posts: 38
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Post by pippapasses on Sept 12, 2009 10:14:02 GMT -5
I think depression certainly plays a role in my problem, but the biggest thing is that I just don't understand organization. I can't figure out how to get things into any organized system, and the clutter is simply overwhelming as a result. I don't know what to do with it.
I don't have problems getting rid of stuff I don't need, though, so not a hoarder.
I do have motivation problems sometimes (some would say I'm l.a.z.y). I think that's where the depression might play a role, or maybe it's just a lifetime of bad habits. I'm definitely an avoidant personality, and so have problems facing a mess that I can't see an easy solution for.
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Post by cosmic1 on Sept 12, 2009 10:45:58 GMT -5
I'm definitely more of a squalor person. I have no problem purging stuff; I actually like getting rid of things because it makes it easier to clean. I am very lax on maintenance and allow my house to creep just shy of level 2 squalor (I call it 1.10) and then I go crazy and clean it back to level 0 squalor, rest on my laurels and don't clean until it gets back up to level 1.10. I also am good at stashing things out of sight, but never go back and sort through them.
I am trying to change my ways by joining here. Everyone has been such a great help.
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Post by success19 on Sept 12, 2009 11:51:20 GMT -5
I would say my home is more clutter than hoarding - especially after seeing the a and e shows. I see the potential there - IF I wasn't trying to over come this NOW and move.
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Post by bigtimetroubles on Sept 12, 2009 12:11:33 GMT -5
not even a hoarder....but depressed yes I have depression and it keeps me in bed all the time....not doing much of anything and it keeps me from being social....although how much I want to be social...I like people...I like doing stuff but it just seems nobody likes me....I am aloner and alone most of every 24hrs...almost wrote years there....hugs bigtimetroubles
course drinking in excess did not help matters any...so I stopped that.
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toni
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Joined: August 2008
Posts: 73
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Post by toni on Sept 12, 2009 12:28:33 GMT -5
Not a hoarder, but struggling with depression and other issues (perfectionism, procrastination, fear of failure, etc.).
I think I have hoarding tendencies, though, and I struggle to get rid of things that others would have no problem tossing.
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Post by mlb1985 on Sept 12, 2009 12:30:15 GMT -5
Nope Not a Hoarder, BUT DH is....
If it wasnt For Him My house Would Be halfway Decent.
Yes I am Messy, But I have NO problem In tossing stuff.
The Amount of Stuff I own Is NOTHING compaired to His car parts, Clothes, and Model cars.
Lets Just say That Under our Mobel Home is PACKED with car parts, Our bathroom tub is full, And His closet IS full.
I get depressed and Dont want to Clean most days.
I HATE doing dishes, I wish I had a Dishwasher....
Anywho, Thanks for the Great Question :-)
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Post by HFH on Sept 12, 2009 12:31:27 GMT -5
I dont know. We have a lot of stuff, but we have a lot of people.
I dont hoard large amounts of food, but i do save stuff that maybe i will need that later?? that sounds a little like hoarding.
I have trouble tossing belongings people gave or left to me.
I used to collect a certain object, so everyone used that for my birthday/christmas gifts. Now i have sooo many and they are becoming clutter
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Post by disarray on Sept 12, 2009 12:41:59 GMT -5
I'm a hoarder with other OCD tendencies as well. I also have problems with perfectionism, procrastination, depression, and anxiety that all play a part in my hoarding. It's a wonder you can see my carpet at all!
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Post by yearning4order on Sept 12, 2009 14:21:50 GMT -5
I don't know what I am for sure. I hoard some. I hate organizing. I have struggled with depression.
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pammybear
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Joined: August 2009
Posts: 71 
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Post by pammybear on Sept 12, 2009 14:46:29 GMT -5
Thank you for asking this question. It makes me think!
I checked hoarder, but it's really hoarder-once-removed. I'm nothing like my mother. And yet, I was raised in her house, I have issues about her and her problems, but I've been shaped by my childhood.
I learned as a child not to see piles of stuff. And I still do not. They just do not exist.
I learned not to find places for stuff. I learned never to let go of things - I learned to be anxious and scared about stuff and letting go. I learned that my home was "normal" - at least to me. I never learned any other way.
I never learned housekeeping and organizing. I never learned to make time to clean. I never learned that clean is a good thing. I've never acquired the visual skills to make a group of things look nice. It doesn't occur to me to invite people to my home.
I find it terribly unsettling to have a tidy empty place - it's not right. It needs those invisible towers of clutter in order to be comfortable. A shining clean bathroom is horrible - it's not mine.
One of the reasons I married my ex-husband is that he also is a hoarder, in his own way - and I could deal with that. It felt normal. I didn't have to go through the emotional trauma that I'm experiencing now.
So, yes, I have issues with hoarding. That makes me a hoarder. I hope to be cured someday.
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Post by workinprogress on Sept 12, 2009 15:01:02 GMT -5
Hi, this is actually my first post on this board. I'll post in Introductions soon.
I checked "Depressed, not a hoarder" but it is much more complicated than that. I'm not really all that depressed, I'm more perfectionistic and tend to give up because it's too big of a problem and my house will never be House Beautiful. (And I agree with pammybear that absolutely empty, spic and span houses give me the creeps - especially if they don't have lots of books and CDs and stuff... *sigh* which accounts for much of my personal clutter and disarray.)
I think my husband is a bit of a hoarder. Certainly a collector and a "resourceful" person who often picks up things off the curb "because they might be useful someday" - even if they are broken and would require hours of work to fix. Much of the stuff in the house is his.
Also much of the reason for the dust, unreachable cat messes, and "Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome" is his many remodeling projects "in progress" (hence my username). We can't put books in the downstairs bookcases because Someday we are going to refinish the hardwood floors again, this time with sufficiently good polyurethane that we won't immediately scuff them up again. Well, it's been 4 years since we have lived here. The bookcases get filled up with "miscellaneous" stuff including cat barf that I discover months after the fact.
I do laundry and dishes regularly, have some unreachable spots due to clutter, and have a bit of cat mess but I'd say it's still the exception rather than the rule. So I have no idea what squalor level to call it. I just don't like it. Recently I've been doing more to spot-clean, and get rid of stuff, even some of "his" stuff with his permission. So there's progress. (Which is the hopeful part of my username.)
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