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Post by lilith on Jun 3, 2010 7:54:12 GMT -5
Oh belle-It is going to be OK. At the very least you won't be alone anymore. You didn't cause this nor do anything wrong...you have a brain disorder and though hard to conquer, it is possible to do better. Give us more specifics about the trash/water situation for some practical tips. Don't worry about shocking us-we have heard it all.
My best advice when the thing is winning-just keep moving. Pick up a bag and fill it-a minute at a time if you have to. if a minute is too long do 5 seconds. Keep posting even if all you can manage is "help!"
I see you, hear you and accept you just as you are now. It will get better. Welcome sister.
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belle
New Member
Joined: June 2010
Posts: 4
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Post by belle on Jun 6, 2010 6:53:33 GMT -5
Wow- all the responses I just finished reading are so kind and accepting- no disgust or judgement, only offers of help- thank you. let me explain why trash and water off- initially had broken pipe in basement. Unable to call plumber to enter home, so I turned off the main valve myself. Started bringing in water from outside. Then city got confused and thought nobody lived here because no water usage, so they stopped pick-up of trash. Now they won't restart until they can COME IN and turn on water in basement. I have to have this place presentable enough to let someone in or they'll hall ME away. The more pressure I feel to get ready, the more paralyzed I become. I take small amounts of trash out every day in little bags and drop them in containers at stores or gas stations, and I hall water in, but I'm becoming more and more depressed. Hey, it's not like I conquered this when water and trash were ok, I didn't. No, nobody knows, not my family or friends. Good at keeping them away. I like the idea of plastic knives and forks until dishes are done(backlog), but most of all I like having you all to talk to and tell. How do I motivate myself when it all seems so hopeless? One minute at a time? I feel like cement just looking around!
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Post by dtesposito on Jun 6, 2010 7:34:58 GMT -5
So glad you posted again Belle--the thing that seems to work best is to start with one manageable area--somewhere that you can see every day and that will make a difference to you. For most people that is an area in the kitchen, like one section of counter so that you can prepare food. Or, a section of the kitchen table so you can use it to sort other things. Or maybe for you it's a coffee table, or the top of a dresser--somewhere small, like 2 cubic feet of area. Clean that completely off, not by just shoving everything into another area, but by taking each piece that's on there and doing what needs to be done with it--throwing it away or putting it away in a permanent place that makes sense for it. While you're doing this, remember that your space is limited and do your best to THROW a lot away--shuffling too much stuff from one place to another just takes up energy and doesn't make your place any easier to clean up.
After you do this, you keep that area clean no matter what, and in the meantime, you can start on a second area, or just generally start throwing away obvious trash. But keep coming back to your clean spot--when you use this spot for anything, clean it back up right away. Having one clean area seems to clear your mind--you can look at that spot and feel calmer, and know that you were able to clean off one spot, you can clean the others--it won't be quick, but it's possible.
You have pressure because of needing to get your services back, but you don't have to panic--you can get a good start by doing what you're doing-bringing water in and taking trash somewhere else.
Do you have a car? Is there any kind of trash dump in your town? Even a recycling center will take old newspapers, magazines, plastic bottles, aluminum cans--normally when you are just starting to dig out people here suggest "amnesty" from recycling, but since you have no garbage service now it would be a way of getting rid of things.
Do you think the water people will only need to come into your basement when they turn it back on? Or do they need to come through your house to get into the basement?
Most important is to stay in touch here and report your progress--it makes a world of difference to see what you've done in black and white. Keep posting!
Diane
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Jun 6, 2010 11:01:15 GMT -5
Belle, I'm not saying it's okay to not address your situation, but I wanted to tell you that when I found Squalor Survivors (this board's predecessor), I introduced myself and then disappeared for a year. I didn't even read the board. The idea of ACTUALLY, PHYSICALLY DOING SOMETHING about the problem was too overwhelming for me, and it was clear that there were people doing exactly that. I was too daunted, and not to that point yet. What I didn't realize was that there was no reason for me to disappear, that there was plenty of mental and emotional work to be done before I buckled down and started.
So, if you're not in that place yet, don't fret. You'll either get there or you won't, but here you'll find a whole lot of people who are only working on that mental/emotional work. And the end of that work, you'll hopefully see that you are not powerless. You'll find some inner strength and will gain fortitude simply from interacting with the people here.
So don't disappear. Don't be embarrassed if you don't start the physical work now. Like I said, it took me a year to even come back and start TALKING about it.
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