belle
New Member
Joined: June 2010
Posts: 4 
|
Post by belle on Jun 2, 2010 10:52:21 GMT -5
Let me introduce myself-- I'm a woman who's grateful to have found this site today. I'm a woman who is desperate. I'm a woman who badly needs help, friends and most of all, hope.
I'm buried here- terrified, paralyzed. Self-hate, depression, whatever, it doesn't matter anymore why. So, hello out there, anybody listening?
|
|
|
|
Post by StuffNoMore on Jun 2, 2010 11:03:27 GMT -5
Hi Belle  We are listening, loud and clear. We were you when we first found this wonderful site! The day I found myself here I knew there was a light at the end of a tunnel minus the train. If I could dig myself out of my mess so can you!!! We're all here to help and cheer you on through this.  Hugs SNM |
|
belle
New Member
Joined: June 2010
Posts: 4
|
Post by belle on Jun 2, 2010 11:19:06 GMT -5
Thanks for hearing me SNM- thank you. You say that if you can dig yourself out, anyone can. I'll try to believe that, but I'm starting deep-very very deep. Long way out and no tools. My water is turned off, and they've stopped trash pick-up. All because I can't let anyone in. Scared.
|
|
|
|
Post by Celeste on Jun 2, 2010 11:27:59 GMT -5
 It HAS been done and you can do it too. Welcome!
|
|
|
|
Post by bigtimetroubles on Jun 2, 2010 13:36:27 GMT -5
hey we care....and offer hope....hugs btt
|
|
|
|
Post by Peach on Jun 2, 2010 13:56:20 GMT -5
You're us and we are/were you. Welcome!
Start reading this site. Then read some more. There are various methods of reclaiming your life. Working with others in Chat, creating lists in Listzilla, or just working on your own and trying out what's worked for others. Turn on some music.
The main thing is to start small. Don't look at the entire house or an entire room. That's too overwhelming. Just start with picking up one piece of trash. Or, just cleaning for 5 minutes at a time. Whatever works for you. It could be 5 items a day tossed into the trash. Or, you might prefer 15 minute cleaning intervals. Or, one hour. Whatever you're comfortable with.
This problem we have with keeping a tidy home and/or hoarding is a mental illness. It is not your fault. But, it can be overcome.
This will not happen overnight, or in a week or a month. Well, maybe you can do it in a month. My point is "don't get discouraged". The important thing is that you start. Somewhere. Anywhere in your home. And, work from there.
We're delighted that you have found us!
|
|
|
|
Post by messymimi on Jun 2, 2010 15:26:56 GMT -5
Welcome, Belle !
You might be scared, depressed, etc. because you are looking at the whole job as one big massive thing that has to all be done right this minute, and done to perfection to boot.
If that is you (it sure is me), take comfort in the fact that no one expects that, and you can stop expecting it from yourself.
Break the job down into much, much smaller bites. Some people set a timer. One minute, five, 15, doesn't matter, just not enough to become overwhelmed. Some start with a bag of trash, or just two pieces of trash. Some begin by washing 5 dishes.
Break it into whatever you feel you can do, then make a stab at it. Then celebrate! Victory! You did it! Even if you didn't finish totally, or didn't get as much done as you thought, so what? It's more than would have been done if you had not started at all.
Come back here and post your victory and get cheers if you want -- Listzilla threads are great for that, especially working-in-threes and accountability partners.
Chat is a great way to have company while you work if you want.
Remember, this is like losing weight. The person with a lot to loose may not show the loss right away, but it will show with consistency. Remember caves are carved by consistent drops of water.
If the rest of the house seems to yell at you because of all the stuff you haven't done yet when you try to celebrate what you have accomplished, tell it to shut up, you have a plan and its turn is coming. Then wash a dish or fold a towel or dust a blind or something, just to show that you are in control and doing stuff. You will get to each area that needs attention, one bite of the elephant at a time.
If you are truly overwhelmed by backed up jobs, like a ton of dishes or laundry, try the plus one method. Today, wash all of today's dishes, plus one or two from the backlog. Then tomorrow, do the same. All of that day's items (whatever the job is), plus one or two of the leftovers from before. More quickly than you will believe, the backlog will be gone.
Read around, ask questions if you want, and remember you are not alone in this battle.
It's good to have you here.
messymimi
|
|
|
|
Post by mrsmess on Jun 2, 2010 17:57:50 GMT -5
Hello Belle...you are so very welcome here. Why is your water turned off?  That is very concerning...I am not sure how you can do dishes or laundry without water. |
|
|
|
Post by success19 on Jun 2, 2010 18:10:13 GMT -5
No water in this intense heat? and why no trash pick up?
Welcome - many of us have issues similar to yours.
|
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Jun 2, 2010 19:21:30 GMT -5
 I just wanted to welcome you and to say that this too will pass. I hope you are able to find out exactly what you need to do in order to restore city services (water and garbage). It sounds like you may need intervention on your behalf from a doctor or someone who can help advocate for you in regard to your need for help and for services so that you can clean up your home literally. Do you rent or own your home? Do you have access to medical care? There is probably a lot more idea wise that people can share with a few more specifics - but one thing I do know is that there is hope and you definitely came to the right place. 
|
|
|
|
Post by CaringFriend on Jun 2, 2010 19:43:59 GMT -5
If the rest of the house seems to yell at you because of all the stuff you haven't done yet when you try to celebrate what you have accomplished, tell it to shut up, you have a plan and its turn is coming. Then wash a dish or fold a towel or dust a blind or something, just to show that you are in control and doing stuff. You will get to each area that needs attention, one bite of the elephant at a time. I love the way you put that!  But it is so true. It seems as if, while doing one job, something else demands our attention. Not only is this distracting, but it is the root of paralysis. If you are truly overwhelmed by backed up jobs, like a ton of dishes or laundry, try the plus one method. Today, wash all of today's dishes, plus one or two from the backlog. Then tomorrow, do the same. All of that day's items (whatever the job is), plus one or two of the leftovers from before. More quickly than you will believe, the backlog will be gone. messymimi I believe in this 100%! It is logical: take care of today's "stuff" plus a bit of the old. Sooner or later all of the unnecessary "stuff" should no longer exist. That was the driving force behind my success. If you have no other plan than this one, you will still be successful.  Today's "stuff" includes.......... - Mail. It doesn't matter how many piles of it you have scattered around the house, make decisions about each piece that arrives today. Junk mail is easiest, so deal with it first by trashing it!
 Taking care of today may also mean, if you don't have 1 location for "Bills To Be Paid", you will take 30 seconds and decide the best place for them. Then today, tomorrow, and every day after that put the bills in the same place. Doesn't matter if it's an organizer from an office supply store or an empty shoe box.
- Dishes. Sink piled full? Empty it out, adding to the collection on the counters. Or put them in an empty laundry basket or cardboard box. "Today's dishes" = using paper plates and plastic utensils until the backlog is gone. Toss after use! All you need to do then, is to take care of some of the "old" dishes. Dishes almost wash themselves using today's dishwashing liquids.
 So, before you start prepping tonight's meal, fill the kitchen sink or a dish pan with HOT water and liquid dish detergent. Place some dishes in to soak while you are fixing supper. After eating, wash & rinse those and put them in dish rack to dry. (Put those away before you go to bed.) Wash today's pots and pans.
- Clothes. At bedtime, place today's clothes back in the closet or in a laundry container. Then pick up 2 pieces of clothing lying around and place those in the laundry or the trash. When doing laundry, toss all clothes that need mending, are outdated, or too small/large for you. Yes, I said toss. The one thing we do here is give each other or ourselves amnesty to toss instead of donate when the situation is so bad that making piles for donation will create further clutter.
Those are just a few examples of taking care of today. "Today" also includes putting away or tossing everything you use today......plus putting away/tossing 2 pieces of clutter. When the end of the day comes, instead of looking around and fretting that nothing has changed, pat yourself on the back, knowing what you accomplished today. Don't forget to breathe. Good luck! |
|
|
|
Post by _Linda_ on Jun 2, 2010 19:57:38 GMT -5
Welcome Belle, I am so happy that you have found us. I hope that you find the support and understanding here that you need. We are here to cheer you on with your journey in desqualoring your home as well as shoulders to cry on when you feel you can't go on. Trust me, this journey will be a difficult one, but the rewards are very well worth it. We all have faced the gamut of emotions that go along with the journey. Without knowing the details of your situation, I agree with Chris about finding out about how to get your services back. Then, take tiny steps at cleaning up one area, even if it is just a square foot. Our messes didn't happen overnight and cleaning them up won't happen overnight either. But, it can be done and you will do it! We are here listening and waiting to help you through this. |
|
|
|
Post by dtesposito on Jun 2, 2010 20:40:33 GMT -5
Hi Belle, welcome! Can you tell us more about how you lost your water and garbage service? Maybe someone will have an idea about what you can do about it.
In the meantime, you can still get started filling some garbage bags so that when your service is restored you will be ready for them to pick them up.
Do you have any relatives or friends near you that know of your situation? If not, you now have some friends here--we can't come and help you physically but we can provide virtual support. Please keep posting, and check out Listzilla for a place to share what you are doing each day.
Diane
|
|
|
|
Post by Louie on Jun 3, 2010 1:02:00 GMT -5
hi belle, welcome!! you will find lots of support here, just go at your own pace. I have found chat has really helped me to make progress so feel free to pop in there and say hello. all the very best to you belle |
|
|
|
Post by sparkle on Jun 3, 2010 2:50:10 GMT -5
Hi belle. Let me add my welcome to all the others here and one more reassurance that it can be done. I've come to believe this now through what I'm learning from people here and I'm beginning to get on with it with their help. Personally, I'm starting to dig out of level three squalor with no animal feces to deal with. I started with a plastic grocery bag. I filled but didn't overfill it and tied it with a double knot. Sometimes I can't get them into a larger bag and out to the trash right away but at least when I see a bag with a double knot I know it's trash and I don't have to open it to see what might be inside and I now know exactly where it belongs - out the door and out of my life. it's true what you hear; start small - the big picture is overwhelming for anyone. I hope someone here can help you get water and trash pickup restored. These are absolute essentials. I currently have no hot water which is difficult enough but at least I have water. We need to help you get this sorted out asap. Come to Chat and see if it helps. It's like having a friend clean alongside. you. Chat is the way I've decided to approach the demon but this only one path of many. You are among friends now and that's the first step. So happy you found us. Keep posting. wg |
|
