alicefive
New Member
Joined: June 2010
Posts: 8
|
Post by alicefive on Jun 13, 2010 22:08:57 GMT -5
I am new to this site. Today was one of the worst days ever. I lost my job over two years ago and had to move out of my house today because it was taken back by the bank. I had lived there for twenty years. My family came to help me move and saw for the first time how bad my home had become. I tried cleaning it up but I have serious health issues and it was beyond me. My family was appalled. I have had issues in the past with squalor but this time the house was pretty much destroyed. It was so humiliating. I had to move into my sisters basement and she set down all these rules about cleaning. She also asked me why I do this. I told her if I knew I won't do it.I just feel so terrible. I am determined to keep my room and any future homes clean. I was able to throw out about 50% of my stuff so I don't think I will have a problem bring things into my home. Where my problem lies is keeping things clean. My house was too big and I just couldn't keep up. How do you handle it when your family keeps bringing the issue up? It makes me feel terrible to talk about it.
|
|
|
Post by homesteph on Jun 13, 2010 22:16:05 GMT -5
hello Alicefive, I am so sorry you have had such a horrible traumatic day. That sounds just awful. And I am so glad you have found SOOS. I am fairly new here myself, but I can tell you there are wonderful, wise, compassionate people here who will understand and some even relate to where you are at, and will be glad to support you while you step forward to where you want to be. There are tons of useful online resources here as well, to explore when you are ready!
|
|
Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
|
Post by Blackswan on Jun 13, 2010 22:24:28 GMT -5
Hi Alice! Welcome home!
The only way things can go now is up!
|
|
|
Post by moggyfan on Jun 13, 2010 22:25:00 GMT -5
Hi Alicefive, We've pretty much all been where you are. It does sound like a truly horrible day, but, on the up side, the worst is over.
You have been presented with a fresh start. Perhaps it's a blessing that you have fewer things and a smaller space to start out with. You sound determined to keep on top of it, and you'll find many good ideas here, and people who'll be more than happy to answer questions or share experiences.
So take a deep breath and get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow is bound to be a better day.
PS: If your family keeps bringing it up, say you know you have a problem and you're getting help to work on it--and you are. You're here :-)
|
|
MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
|
Post by MiSC on Jun 13, 2010 22:35:15 GMT -5
Hi, alicefive. I'm very sorry you're going through all this. YOU'RE NOT ALONE. Got that? It's important to remember that. YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
Does anyone have the link to Fivecat's story? For some reason I'm thinking that would be a good one for alicefive to read. I may be totally off the mark, but that's what popped into my head.
|
|
|
Post by bigtimetroubles on Jun 13, 2010 22:36:18 GMT -5
I am sorry you lost your home....I know how that is right now myself as I am losing my own to no count of my own....but that is not the point...just know we love each other and care for each other so you have a home here for sure now....hugs btt
|
|
|
Post by sidestep on Jun 13, 2010 22:48:45 GMT -5
|
|
MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
|
Post by MiSC on Jun 13, 2010 22:51:44 GMT -5
Thanks, sidey.
|
|
alicefive
New Member
Joined: June 2010
Posts: 8
|
Post by alicefive on Jun 13, 2010 23:06:03 GMT -5
Everyone, thanks so much for responding so quickly. I think I'm going to like it here.
|
|
|
Post by dtesposito on Jun 13, 2010 23:21:44 GMT -5
Hi Alice, I can just imagine how bad you feel, it's embarrassing to have your family see your house when they have no idea how you've been living. But now they know, put that part behind you, and as has been said you now have a fresh start and things can only get better. Join in on Listzilla and chat so you can start developing habits of cleaning and organizing so you won't have any problems while you have to live with your sister.
By the way, I have been way underemployed for a couple of years too, so I know how disheartening that can be.
Get a good night's sleep and hopefully things will look better in the morning!
Diane
|
|
|
Post by notsomessyshell on Jun 14, 2010 0:04:31 GMT -5
Hello and welcome Alice. I hope you get a good nights sleep and wake up refreshed. Tomorrow is another day. New day. New attitude. New habits to start. You can do this. You are not alone. You are here! We are all here fighting the good fight. I look forward to seeing you here more and more.
|
|
|
Post by sparkle on Jun 14, 2010 0:35:24 GMT -5
Let me add another welcome, alice. We are really, really, really glad you are here. It will make all the difference. We understand. What happened to you is one of our worst nightmares! Bless your heart. It WAS a horrible day. It didn't occur to me at first but it's true, the worst is over. Do read fivecat's story. That was the first thing that gave me hope that I could get out of this. Do come to Chat and give it a try. It's such a good place to get immediate answers and we help each other get things done, whether in deep trouble or in maintenance. You have another family here and we'll try to help you mend things with your other one. wg
|
|
|
Post by clutterific on Jun 14, 2010 1:47:49 GMT -5
Hi, alicefive! I'm new here, too, and I like it. Since joining this site, I've gotten more desqualoring done than I have in several years! I think many people here understand the feeling of embarrassment and violation that we get when someone else sees/goes through/talks about our squalor. It sucks, but at least you are out of those poor conditions now and in a clean place. Hopefully you will be able to keep up with the cleaning, even if it's just a little bit at a time. And maybe your family will be willing to help you out if you're physically unable to do some things? I read Fivecat's story tonight, and it is quite amazing. Maybe you'll get a chance to read it soon. Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow. -Clutterific
|
|
|
Post by serenitynow on Jun 14, 2010 5:02:38 GMT -5
:-Xalicefive So sorry you're going through this. To me, the most important thing to do now is to look forward. The past burden has been lifted from you. It's okay to acknowledge it and grieve. I'm thinking how I would feel in your situation. You're "beholden" to your sister it's true, but your family does not have the right to descend on you like vultures. Can you talk to her and ask her to tell the others to back off right now while you pull yourself together and re-goup? Your living arrangments are between you and your sister only. Try, if you can, to seek out other people for positive interactions. Eat well. Focus on beauty. DON'T self flagellate or fall into victim mode. You can do this. It WILL get better. Keep posting. How about starting your own blog? Wishing you the best serenitynow
|
|
mollyt
New Member
Joined: January 2010
Posts: 70
|
Post by mollyt on Jun 14, 2010 6:13:02 GMT -5
Bless your heart! I am sor sorry that you are having such a hard time. I don't have suggestions for dealing with family (haven't had to deal with that myself...yet!) but I like what serenitynow said--just nicely ask for some time to get yourself together. You can do this. Take care of yourself first, read and post here and maybe just start with making your current living area a pleasant place to be. Best of luck.
|
|