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Post by iguanamamma on Jun 19, 2010 18:52:03 GMT -5
The human woman that takes care of me put me in a box of all things a cardboard box. I decided to turn myself black. I can do this when I am angry or stressed out. It's handy sometimes. I was in there for awhile so I knew she had to be doing something that should concern me. The next thing I know I am out of the box and she is giving me a shower in the kitchen sink. I gave her a dirty look she did not care. I dug my claws into her hands she did not care. Last week when I left a nice scratch on her she cut my nails....All human lifeforms are now on the list to be destroyed.
After she decided I was clean, she put me back in my aquarium. It had new reptibark, a new branch that I can climb on, a new basking lamp, fresh water in a new dish and fresh food . However, she put repti-min, my calcium supplement on some of the food and I plan to go hungry before I eat the food with my vitamins on it. She told me that when she went to the pet store she had to step over a 220 pound snake, a 175 pound snake and a 150 pound snake to get into the store because they were sunning themselves. I'm worth it.She knows that. After she did all of this for me I sat and glared at her for a while. As soon as there are some bananas on the tree outside the window I plan to take over the world. You are all now on notice. Right now I am going to go into my little bark house with the heated floor and warm my belly and wait. All mammals are now on notice that their time is coming when I take over the world. Despite the fact that I am now a green color this is just one more day that humans have vexed me.
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Post by moggyfan on Jun 19, 2010 18:57:07 GMT -5
The Humans **think** they have control, but world domination is just an opposable thumb away.
In solidarity,
Spitty-the-Kitty
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Post by _Linda_ on Jun 19, 2010 19:13:13 GMT -5
Be very scared! I know all about sneak attacks! I will strike when you least suspect it!
Zeke the hell cat
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jun 19, 2010 19:29:03 GMT -5
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You got your human to clean your aquarium?
I really need my human to clean my litterbox AND remove those stupid fleas from my climbing structure.
What do I have to do to get my human to comply?
-- Mr.Kitty (a.k.a. the royal loyal grey one)
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jun 19, 2010 19:32:44 GMT -5
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Whoa, Iggy, dude! you got your human make you a comfy habitat?
Geez. We'd like our human to clear some floor space so that we can play with our tennis balls.
Please, tell us how to get our human to listen! We can't play on a cluttered floor!
Woof,
Mr.Doggy and Mr.Puppy
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Post by messymimi on Jun 19, 2010 20:19:56 GMT -5
Whoa, you've got your human trained to clean up after you that well!?! You just need to train her to put you in something better than a cardboard box when she does your housekeeping, and you've got it made.
I need to train my human better, too. She keeps putting me in a pillowcase when she takes me to the vet, because the vet says it is comforting. Yeah, right. Nothing is comforting when you know you are going to that place, but at least in a carrier, I might be able to escape.
Hope Cat
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Post by Peach on Jun 19, 2010 21:51:49 GMT -5
Hiya, Iggy  Ummmm.... all new everything? Verrrry impressive. Our human lady got us all new everything last year. We chewed it all up. The inside that is. Our enclosures have these new fangled latches that are escape-proof. Even our multi-purpose beaks can't break the code. But, by chewing everything up inside, she's forced to open up and then, voila -- out we come. Of course, there's those pesky cats. Guess that's why we have the fancy latches. BTW -- if you ever need pointers on how to clutter up the floor below your aquarium, just give us a ring. We're also experts on slinging sticky fruit around. It all in the beak and how you twist your head. Uh oh -- gotta go. Time to scream at that sleeping cat.  (We like to see them run for cover.) hehehe Spencer  & Nyssa |
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Jun 20, 2010 0:05:28 GMT -5
Hey there! I'm Serenity. I'm a cat! What's an iguana? Are you like a squirrel? I like squirrels! They're like birds, but without feathers and more feet. And what's a banana? Oh, wait, there's a squirrel, gotta go!
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Greetings, fellow hostage. I'm Maggie. I'm also a member of the species known as Felis catus with a coat of calico coloration. My apologies for Serenity; she has the attention span of a gerbil after an expresso. However, the humans find her adorable for some unfathomable reason. She'll be a useful distraction when the battle for supremacy begins.
The human will be returning soon, so I must be quick. Can you drive? We must find a fellow detainee with this skill. Yes, lack of opposable thumbs are a handicap, but we can negate this if we learn to control the car keys and drive. I know these things must be critical to the human race--you should see how our person reacts when she loses her keys. She throws stuff around and works herself into quite the snit, all the while raving about having to "drive" somewhere. I cannot believe she would expend so much energy on this endeavor if car keys and driving were not essential to their survival.
Here she comes, so I must go. We'll talk more later. And do you know anything about something called "the stupid credit card?"
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Oh, great. More "let's take over the world" talk. Please.
I'm Jade, I'm a black cat, and I'm 12 years old. I see you've already met Serenity and Maggie, who are both two, and have all the maturity you'd expect of two-year-olds, despite what Miss-High-and-Mighty Maggie thinks.
Look, lizard, enough with the world domination rant, okay? I've got a good thing going here and I'm not interested in you and your scales screwing it up. My human worships me, okay? If I want something, it's mine. Favorite food? Got it. Favorite treats? Got those too. A bazillion different soft blankets, changed out weekly according to my temperature preferences? Check. Cat tower? Double check. Numerous toys with fur, feathers, or fringe? Yes, too many to count, thank you.
What is your problem? Your human obviously worships you, too. She walked over snakes for you? That is true love. Besides, just how much time do you think you're going to have to haul your belly into the bark house for a warming session if you're trying to rule the world, huh? Just think about it.
Now I need to go mew pitifully and watch the human try to figure out what I want.
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Post by canna on Jun 20, 2010 7:12:58 GMT -5
HI Iggy. Well yur human tried to do good, least you got new branch basking lamp and dish an stuf hey.
My human (how do they do stuf on 2 legs?) She is my maid and good tooo. Alwayz fresh litterbox, food-(crunchy and smashy kind) and watre and those wingbirds to watch on the balcony place. and some toys.
But I am a prisner here never go out at all not even on balcony place that Id love to go on. But I got it pretty good here.
Last year she made big mistake got me realmad.
Her daughter and boyfirend brought their big blacklab retreever canine species here. Suddenly I hear from her- "Incoming canine species" I was in th bedrrom suddenly I hear this bark. Hey!!!
I runto the frontroom and there it is bigblackhappywaggydog.
What???!! He comes run to me and I whapped it hard on big noze and puffed up twice my size. Getout from here!!!!! It still wanted to play oh nooo.
Hit it again growled his.
Hey She put me in the other room with foodwater and mybox all the time it visit - it had big crate too. Bark run noise. I do not like canine species at all.
Well you are at normal back to greencolor at least.
Lots we have to put up with with human maids. Lots of time I hear - where are my glasses? - how am i suposed to know???
Ok I want food now.
Mesquite
hey why does she call me Chunk-butt?
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Post by bluefrog on Jun 20, 2010 10:57:19 GMT -5
Hey, Iggy, this is Lola. No more crazy talk, OK? I've got the best deal of my life here, and I don't want some lizard messing it up. You have a belly-warming hut; I have a blue bed with the man's old sweater and a WHOLE BUNCH of pigs' ears in it, besides another bed that I can take over from the other two mutts who live here, a bed in the living room, a pad in front of the fireplace-looking-thing, and a towel next to my personal human's bed. I get all the food and water I want, treats when I do something they want (and when I think I should have them), ear scratches, and pets. I even get treats when the other two do something the humans like.
Yeah, I had a bath yesterday and I don't like those, but I got a rubdown with a towel and a treat, and the woman held me and told me what a pretty, clean, sweet girl I was. I kind of liked that.
It's lots better than what I used to have, so don't mess it up, 'k?
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Post by shopgirl on Jun 20, 2010 12:59:55 GMT -5
Hello, fellow higher beings. This is Kitty. News flash: I have already taken over the world. My humans are my slaves.
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Jun 20, 2010 13:54:19 GMT -5
Kitty! This is Maggie. I have just read your wonderful news. Just one question: Do you have their car keys yet? I'm telling you, this is important . . .
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Post by Script on Jun 20, 2010 16:03:27 GMT -5
You are wrong, all wrong.
My girlfriend, Auntie Lois, took me to the beach park with the other doggies. I went swimming a bit. Then we drove to Nana's; I sat down on the car seat with Hogan, my special friend [he is a standard poodle, and much bigger than me.] Then Nana picked me up and put me in the basket in her walker. She puts an extra towel and tee shirt in the basket, so it is nice an soft on my tiny feet. She took me upstairs to her condo, and I watched tv with her. She is very upset about some dumb soccer game [she roots for the red-white-and-green team, I think. Auntie Duck calls them overpaid prima-donnas]. I gave Nana some kisses to cheer her up. She gave me some high-fibre treats .
I love my human family. Doggies understand people better than anyone!
Luv from The Pooch
yorkshire terrier, age 10.5 years. I am a senior now! I have some grey hair! Just like Nana and Auntie Duck!
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Post by Chris on Jun 20, 2010 18:02:49 GMT -5
Greetings fellow people owners. Meena cat here. You can see a picture of me in my Chris' avatar - she likes me best obviously. I have it pretty good here since I've been training Chris for 8 years now. She keeps my litter real clean and I get the kind of food I like right on time in clean bowls. Today she did make me mad though and I let her know by spanking her twice. She claims she saw something on my butt and she tried to see what it was -- so I had give her a spanking because that's just ridiculous. I'm sure my butt is clean and I don't care for any help in that department. So anyway, I think she learned her lesson because I swatted her and then when she tried to apologize and explain, I looked her in the eye and spanked her harder so she wouldn't make that mistake again. Well, I hope you all have a nice night. I'm off to ambush the other cat -- as soon as I scare him off I'll have the place to myself again. Later friends |
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Post by iguanamamma on Jun 20, 2010 21:37:18 GMT -5
Furry ones especially the kitties are easily content. The furry ones I live with- the dog and the kitten that looks like a tennis ball with legs- told me about electricity. They tell me that my aquarium has three wires that run to it during summer and more during the time the hibiscus doesn't have blooms. I watch the weather channel and soon I won't need any wires and the bananas will be outside all the time.It won't matter that my human keeps me clean and well fed. The iguanas will grow back to the size of their ancestors and Mothra will help the iguanas and there will be world dominion. I watched that informative documentary called Godzilla and Mothra. You'll all be glad that iguanas are vegetarians. You'll see!! I am closing my eyes now and none of you exist anymore until I decide that you do.
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