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Post by onwardandupward on Jul 14, 2010 6:53:59 GMT -5
The book should have been named, "Women, Food, CLUTTER and God."
If you have an eating problem, I highly recommend, "Women Food and God." It really hit home with me and I am seeing a huge change with respect to food (eating much less and only when actually hungry.) I am also finding that it relates to other areas for me.
Yes, I have used food to escape from feelings. I have also used retail therapy, vegging out in front of the TV, reading trashy romances excessively (used to do 4 in a weekend), and mindlessly surfing the internet for hours. When I apply the same principles in the book to these other things, the basic premise holds up for me.
If any of you have read the book, what are your thoughts on the similarities between clutter and overeating?
Using food (or TV or reading or the internet or shopping) to escape from or bury emotions seems a bit like killing a bug in your house with a shotgun. Yes, you can kill a bug with a shotgun, but you end up doing a lot more damage with the solution than the original problem would have caused.
Onward
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Post by dtesposito on Jul 14, 2010 7:04:40 GMT -5
I have not read this book, but I did read another book by Geneen Roth a while ago. Unfortunately I didn't care for that one (can't remember the name), in fact I think it was harmful to my weight loss goals at the time. I've heard many people find her books helpful, though.
I find a connection between overcluttering and overeating in that when I'm doing well with one I'm doing well with the other--they seem to both be responses to whatever stress I'm having that makes me distract myself.
Diane
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Post by onwardandupward on Jul 14, 2010 7:42:24 GMT -5
Diane,
I had never heard of the author before this book. I did see part of her interview on Oprah, and I felt she was a little bit smug. When I read Women Food and God, I found that sometimes the author's 'voice' didn't connect with the message she is relaying, but I think I was so ready to hear the message that I have been able to overlook those few instances.
I started reading the book Monday, and I have already lost 3 pounds. It hasn't been difficult at all to modify my eating habits. in my case, I simply ask myself why I am wanting to eat and I can generally figure out what I am dodging. When I think of the other avoidance techniques I use to not live my life and deal with my feelings, which are the same things that led to me living a cluttered life, I feel very sure that by stopping to ask what I am masking, I will have more success dealing with those issues as well.
My past issues are pretty heavy for those of you who don't know me. Molestation by my step father, beating and abuse by him, horrible verbal abuse by him and my mom. Abusive fiance. Alcoholic and suicidal mother. Airplane crash survivor. Held up at gunpoint by two armed men with stocking masks while working at a bank in Houston in the 80's. Stalked and drugged by a friend of a friend. Kicked an addiction to Ativan, money problems post-divorce, mini strokes, heart surgery, etc.
I have been trough years of therapy as well, and I was aware that my emotional baggage played a huge role in my clutter issues as well as my weight. I have read a lot of books on weight loss. I have read "survivor" self-help books. I have known in my head what the issue is, but I haven't really been able to put this knowledge to practical use.
Women Food and God provided me with the missing piece of the puzzle. It may not be for everyone, but hopefully someone out there will find it as useful as I have.
Onward.
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Post by dtesposito on Jul 14, 2010 9:02:04 GMT -5
Onward, that's wonderful that the book's message is motivating you to think about what you're eating. When I'm in a period of eating way too much I definitely relate to the idea of mindless eating vs. mindful--my mind goes on auto-pilot and reaches for food before I even know what I'm doing. So I fully agree with that part, and with stopping and trying to figure out what it is you're feeling if you don't let yourself eat at that moment.
The part of the book that I read that really derailed me was the idea of "eating what your body told you to eat" instead of a more structured calorie counting situation. I lost over 100 pounds by counting calories and eating lower-fat (moderate protein, high carb) and regular exercise. I kept that weight off for about 4 years, and then read the Roth book and another book about how being so structured isn't necessary, that once you're learned to eat well you can listen to your body, etc. etc. Well, I listened to my body, and it piled on several pounds! After gaining back about 30, I managed to get back to a more restricted way of eating again, but not physically counting every calorie. I was holding that weight for about 5 years, but after being laid off from my job a year and a half ago I've gained back between 5-10 pounds. Part of it is just that I'm home a lot so I have more temptation to eat, but I know part is stress that I'm just not handling well enough. The past several months I've done better with my exercise and I'm working really hard on the apartment, and I always find that things go together like that--all things do well or nothing does well! So I'm hopeful that I'll stop the weight gain, but it sure would be nice to lose that 30 pounds again, and I know it gets harder the older I get.
It wasn't the book's fault that I regained the weight, obviously I made those choices, but I really wish I hadn't read it! But for someone who hasn't read anything at all about emotional eating, I think it would be helpful for that aspect.
You said you have had therapy and read other books on emotional eating, what is it specifically about this one that you think is the missing piece--what was in here that wasn't in the other books? Or do you think there's something about your mental state right now that has allowed the message to click this time? How is your clutter doing right now? Do you find that the progress you make on both are usually in synch?
Diane
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Post by Chris on Jul 14, 2010 10:22:52 GMT -5
I find a connection between overcluttering and overeating in that when I'm doing well with one I'm doing well with the other--they seem to both be responses to whatever stress I'm having that makes me distract myself. Diane Wow -- I was just having a similar realization the other day -- that it seems my eating, cluttering, AND financial dysfunction are all responses to stress/emotion and I either do good or poorly in all three areas. ************ I have not read the book yet but I am going to see if I can get on the list from the library (reserve it). |
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Post by success19 on Jul 14, 2010 16:27:35 GMT -5
I saw her on the Oprah show this past winter.
I try to remember what God created for us to eat - is what we are too eat - not processed stuff - and I do well most of the time.
I resisted treats at the grocery store yesterday and got a fruit bowl of berries instead.
I really wanted that cheese cake though!
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Post by onwardandupward on Jul 14, 2010 21:29:24 GMT -5
As of Monday, I was 75 pounds overweight. I have been around the same size for most of the past 10 years.
For me, the missing piece of the puzzle was the simplicity and practicality of the call to action, as it were. I knew I had childhood and adult trauma. I knew I was eating more in times of stress. I knew I was emotionally exhausted at the end of the day and this led me to perfer to sit on the sofa instead of to spend a few minutes cleaning and a few more minutes on the treadmill.
The thing that escaped me before that connected with this book was how to flip the switch and stop the URGE to eat. Whenever I feel like I want to eat, if I stop and ask myself if I am hungry, my body has an immediate response. If I am hungry, then I ask myself what my body wants.
At breakfast, I wasn't hungry, but I felt I should eat a bit. I had taken an oatmeal breakfast square and ate a couple of bites, but I really wasn't hungry so I didn't finish it. Later, I was hungry at lunchtime, and we were having sandwiches catered for a meeting at work. There were great piles of sandwiches, and typically I would have eaten three times as much. The thing that I was drawn to was some garden salad and half a turkey sandwich and a pickle spear with about 8 potato chips and some water. There was also birthday cake, which I took a very small piece of (half a deck of cards) and then only ate two bites. When I have truly listened to my body, I have found that I make healthier choices. I am not sure why that part seems to be working for me but didn't work out for you. Perhaps because I do know what is healthy for me and I am craving health?
The connection between emotional eating and emotional cluttering and shopping seems totally understandable to me as well. To potentailly be able to apply the same solution to other stress-related habits seems worthy of investigation.
Onward
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kathbrant
New Member
Joined: July 2010
Posts: 19
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Post by kathbrant on Jul 14, 2010 22:58:17 GMT -5
My doctor, told me last month that I weighed almost 200lbs, like I didn't know that. He told me that I need to get the extra 40lbs off before I get into my 60's. So the way, I see it , it is like this site. He gave me 7 years to lose 40lbs. You guys here give me the same approach: Needs to be done yesterday, but make an honest effort TODAY , and results of all kinds will be seen. I do see everything connected to my squalor. My eating habits as well. The secretiveness of squalor is so related to every part of my life. Not coming clean in every area of my life is the result. Thanks for being here for me. I am seriously grateful for a place to come and be myself, no matter how unappealing.
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Post by success19 on Jul 14, 2010 23:12:00 GMT -5
Drinking soda is helping me - that is probably a pound a week. I am trying to resist processed stuff like sugar and such. I try to choose healthy foods for the most part.
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Post by downandout on Jul 23, 2010 8:57:14 GMT -5
thank you for posting this. i need to do something about my weight and my eating. not doing very good on my own. im going to find this book and read it.
my brother once shot a spider with a shotgun. left a neat hole in the wall. dont know if shooting it caused more damage or not. it was a pretty big spider.
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Blackswan
Banned
Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Jul 23, 2010 10:39:07 GMT -5
Diane, I know that I would gain a ton of weight too if I ate what I thought my body wanted! I think that maybe in us, the voice that is the dysfunctional eater is so darn loud that we can't hear what the BODY wants, and we mistake that voice for the body. I have no idea how to turn it down though,  . In the meantime, I think we need to be very, very careful about letting our guard down, until we recognize which voice is which. But I do think that there is hope that we will be able to learn how to listen to our body and not be fooled by that other voice. |
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lotus*blossom
New Member
...emerging from the muck
Joined: April 2010
Posts: 78
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Post by lotus*blossom on Jul 23, 2010 11:50:07 GMT -5
I don't have the eating problem, but I surely have done the excessive internet/ebay thing, and DVD marathons to escape...
I haven't been doing any of it for the past few months. but I think I will get this book for future defense...
Thank you for the recommending it.
~*~
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