Now ...
Take a DEEP BREATH.
This is NOT about what people think of you.
This is NOT about what you think about yourself.
This is right NOW about your CAT's needs.
It is time to stop worrying about judgement, and just act NOW for your kitty!
Remember, that whatever you've done (or not done), you were doing what you were mentally/emotionally able to do at the time.
This advice applies to your housekeeping, your family relationships, and the health of your cat.
It will not help you, your family, or your cat to stay paralyzed by guilt or shame.We've all done this, and discovered that it doesn't work!
A wise person once told me that "Continuously feeling guilty is just another form of feeling sorry for oneself, and that doesn't help you or anyone else!".
The purpose of guilt and shame is to simply give us a quick prod into taking responsibility for whatever part of a situation that we are actually responsible for ... and then to prod us into taking POSITIVE ACTION to prevent more distress from occurring, so that we can build a healthy life and healthy relationships
from today forward. Once we've received this "quick prod", we are supposed to let go of the guilt and shame, as there is no more reason for it.
The problem is that most of us get PARALYZED by so much guilt and shame that we are simply UNABLE to act in a positive way. And then more guilt and shame arrives, spiraling out of control.
If we all just stewed in our squalor, we would never be able to help ourselves, our loved ones, or our pets ... to get OUT of the squalor. Sadly, I myself stewed in worry, and it just didn't help. Action is the only thing that helps.
My suggestion for you is to take all the guilt and shame you feel. Take it out of your mind and heart, and imagine yourself hold it it your hands and looking at it.
Now say to the guilt and shame:
"Thank you for the message. Your purpose is complete. I don't need you anymore!"
And then imagine yourself throwing all the guilt and shame into the TRASH. And the garbage truck taking it away.
Or imagine throwing it into an electric garbage disposal, turning on the faucet, and flipping the switch ... to grind it all up and wash it away.
Furthermore, imagine that the guilt and shame is being so deconstructed that it cannot paralzye anyone else again.
Now, take another DEEP BREATH.
Call the vet. Borrow the money.
Never mind whatever day of the week it is. Don't worry about "normal business hours".
This is an EMERGENCY and you need to TALK to vet TODAY. Call the vet's phone line, and it will give you a way to contact an emergency veterinary service.
Or look up pet hospital and veterinarian in your phone book or google. And find a 24-hour pet hospital.
Call the 24-hour pet emergency hospital. Tell them all products used on the cat. Tell them if cat is eating, sleeping, drinking, and any other behaviors. Ask for free advice.
REMEMBER:
This is about your CAT's needs.
Let go of any emotions/thoughts that make you feel embarassed/paralyzed.
Just move FORWARD.
Ask your friends/relatives in real life ... for the money to pay for this, and take kitty to vet.
Remember that we (your SOS family) are here to emotionally/mentally give you encouragement.
Please keep posting!
And ... yes I know you're worried about a relative who wants to drop in and visit.
That's a separate issue!
Don't combine your worry about the cat with the worry about the visitor! That would just completely paralyze anyone!
Attend to kitty first. His health may be critical.
Now ... about your potential visitors:
If you think that if they come to your home, they will give you CONSTRUCTIVE help in cleaning up, that's great.
If you think their visit will just make you feel more horrible, then find another option.
Tell them you love them, but this isn't a good week. If necessary, arrange to meet them at a coffee shop, or at the park, or at a museum, and visit with them that way. This would be a way to keep them in your life.
1) Take action steps on bringing kitty back to health
2) Begin cleaning up the house, one tiny section at a time. Don't allow the whole mess to overwhelm you. Work one step at a time.
Hugs!
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