MiSC
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Post by MiSC on Jul 19, 2010 0:10:27 GMT -5
Have we talked about this? Someone mentioned it in another thread and it piqued my interest.
Is there a difference between instant gratification and laz*ness, or are they, at least for our purposes here, the same thing?
Or is this just germaine to me and my own situation?
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Post by moggyfan on Jul 19, 2010 0:20:38 GMT -5
I don't think "instant gratification" has a whole lot to do with laz*ness; I'd say it has more to do with poor impulse control and/or lack of self-discipline.
Like, "I see a bright shiny new TV and I must have it now, right now! So I put it on a credit card rather than save up the money to buy it."
And I think there are different areas that are hard for different people. I can easily enough delay my purchase of the bright shiny new TV till I save the money, but you know those french fries are going in my mouth right now.
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MiSC
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Post by MiSC on Jul 19, 2010 0:22:41 GMT -5
I should have put this on the main board. Is there a mod around?
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Post by Celeste on Jul 19, 2010 0:25:23 GMT -5
Yes.
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MiSC
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Post by MiSC on Jul 19, 2010 1:15:05 GMT -5
Thanks C. If I put those two thoughts together -- instant gratification and laz*ness -- if I think about them a certain way, I'm not even sure there's a difference between them. Then there's my compulsive buying. And my lack of patience. And my weight. It looks, at first glance, as though all of those disparate things are related. I think I need to get back into therapy. Wow.
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Post by omgwhatisthatsmell on Jul 19, 2010 3:26:58 GMT -5
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Post by Starting Again on Jul 19, 2010 13:42:17 GMT -5
*whatisthatsmell's kitty picture pretty much says it all for me. I don't have impulses that make me go out and do foolish things, unless they are things that are easy to do (shopping on QVC). (Fortunately a lack of money helped me conquer that habit). I love just sitting in front of the TV (I wish with a kitty) or computer and all the benefits of exercise and housecleaning etc mean nothing. It's not just physical exercise that I avoid, but doing things that are hard in other ways - e.g. hunting for a job. Even though the long term effects of avoiding things can be devastating, I sit back and let things happen, for years. I don't have a job, kids, a husband, pets, or even a yard, so my L-Zness stands out even more.
I don't feel that it is self-deprecating to say that I am L-Z, I think it is truth, and something I need to get over, even if little by little. I am making a little progress too, partly thanks to this board. I do think that everyone is a little L-Z, but I don't think it is something to deny. Of course relaxing and not worrying are good things, but there are times, not to worry, but to get up and act.
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Post by messymimi on Jul 19, 2010 13:47:09 GMT -5
This is one take on the matter I had never considered.
I can see how wanting something now can be a form of being too l*zy to try to practice the self discipline of earning it.
At the same time, our perfectionism leads us to want something done right, and done yesterday (instantly), and since that is impossible, we don't start. I'm not sure that is actually being l*zy, though, as we usually spend that time accomplishing stuff, just not the important stuff.
Lots of food for thought here.
messymimi
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MiSC
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Post by MiSC on Jul 19, 2010 13:55:14 GMT -5
This is one take on the matter I had never considered.
I can see how wanting something now can be a form of being too l*zy to try to practice the self discipline of earning it.
At the same time, our perfectionism leads us to want something done right, and done yesterday (instantly), and since that is impossible, we don't start. I'm not sure that is actually being l*zy, though, as we usually spend that time accomplishing stuff, just not the important stuff.
Lots of food for thought here.
messymimi That's exactly it, mimi. I have a feeling both are true for me: The desire for instant gratification (leading to laz*iness), and perfectionism (that leads to paralysis). I've been throwing procrastination into the mix for a long time, but I've made pretty big strides there in other areas of my life, and I'm thinking that's not really "it." I think it's the instant gratification that I want, and at this particular moment in time, I want to be talking to you. That's my instant gratification. Heck, I'm not sure I've ever dealt with delayed gratification in my life! I'm lousy with following through with processes. I just want it done. This concept is really interesting me right now. But I need want to go do something productive now.
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MiSC
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Post by MiSC on Jul 19, 2010 14:29:52 GMT -5
Okay, I beat back the moster for a few, and now I have a shiny bathroom sink. I'm amazed that I even saw how icky it was, but I did, and I fixed it.
Now I have to sit back and figure out how I feel about that sink. Off the bat, the first thing I'm thinking is how Colin will react to seeing it. He'll almost certainly say, "The sink looks great!" to which I'll probably just smile an uncomfortable smile.
That isn't the end result I want. I wonder what that's about.
This is turning into a me-me-me-me-me thread. I'm sorry. I'm just bumping into some concepts today that I need to think about. And I think "out loud" here on this board.
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MiSC
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Post by MiSC on Jul 19, 2010 14:50:56 GMT -5
instant gratification = computer
Standing up now. To... do something. Dunno what. Standing up.
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Post by Starting Again on Jul 19, 2010 18:06:16 GMT -5
Is instant gratification more important than FOOD? I'm sitting here in front of my computer & have to get up and go grocery shopping. Oh what an effort!
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Post by messymimi on Jul 19, 2010 19:42:54 GMT -5
Dear MiSC,
You started the thread so it is fine for you to use it for yourself, to help you look at the issue you need to see more clearly in a different light and from other people's views.
Who knows, you might break off from this and start a blog about holding yourself accountable to delay gratification until you have accomplished certain things.
Or you could go use W-I-Ts or Accountability Partners in Listzilla for it.
That's what makes this medium so great, you use what you need, the way you need it, and help yourself and others in the process.
Congratulations on the sink!
Ouch!
I think I just had a minor idea, and that doesn't happen often.
I went back and looked at the Inner Child Childcare thread on Byways, and sure enough you did post there. You said everything your inner child wants to do costs money. Well, no, it doesn't! At least, it doesn't cost you extra money. She loves to be on the computer, doesn't she?
So, use that to your advantage. She gets rewarded with so much computer time for each certain thing accomplished, or this much work = this much computer time.
The part of us that doesn't want to delay gratification is the immature child part.
Hmmm, now I'm going to have to look at how to use this for me, too!
Thanks for the thread.
messymimi
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MiSC
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Post by MiSC on Jul 19, 2010 20:04:27 GMT -5
Dear MiSC,
You started the thread so it is fine for you to use it for yourself, to help you look at the issue you need to see more clearly in a different light and from other people's views.
Who knows, you might break off from this and start a blog about holding yourself accountable to delay gratification until you have accomplished certain things.
Or you could go use W-I-Ts or Accountability Partners in Listzilla for it.
That's what makes this medium so great, you use what you need, the way you need it, and help yourself and others in the process.
Congratulations on the sink!
Ouch!
I think I just had a minor idea, and that doesn't happen often.
I went back and looked at the Inner Child Childcare thread on Byways, and sure enough you did post there. You said everything your inner child wants to do costs money. Well, no, it doesn't! At least, it doesn't cost you extra money. She loves to be on the computer, doesn't she?
So, use that to your advantage. She gets rewarded with so much computer time for each certain thing accomplished, or this much work = this much computer time.
The part of us that doesn't want to delay gratification is the immature child part.
Hmmm, now I'm going to have to look at how to use this for me, too!
Thanks for the thread.
messymimi Woof. That IS an idea. You're making far too much sense for my taste. I want to be told that it's important for me to stay glued to this seat, doing something brilliant and vital on the computer, not that it should be used as incentive. People have said, "You need to cut back on your computer time," and people have suggested that it be used as a reward, but this is the first time I've ever seen the connection beyond "I'm on the computer and not tidying up." Maybe that'd be enough for most people, I don't know, but for me it was doing zilch. It was just something else to fight against. But this is different. I have to go back and reread this thread now.
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MiSC
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Post by MiSC on Jul 19, 2010 20:39:34 GMT -5
By the way, that nails it right on the head.
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