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Post by angelicasmama on Jul 23, 2010 23:36:43 GMT -5
Hello all,
I am having 3 people come help me desqualor tomorrow. I am freaking out. I feel naked. Like I am going to be stripped open for all to see. I know I need the help and I asked for it, but now I want to run or not open the door when they get here it the morning. When I get this scared I tend to shut down. I want to get up early before they get here and get rid of the worst messes. The obvious poop piles you have to step over to get in and out of the door and the nasty litter box. I thought if I wrote here then maybe I can hold myself accountable for doing those few things before they get here.
another thing that is bothering me is after it is clean is sticking to it. My DD keeps telling me I am never going to change. I want to prove her wrong, but I am afraid of that also. Any words of wisdom are welcome. Thank you so much for having this board. I love you guys so much.
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Post by notsomessyshell on Jul 23, 2010 23:45:01 GMT -5
Breathe. Accept the help. Don't allow them to make comments. How we got here is not the important thing. Getting us out is! You are taking steps to get out. DO NOT listen to the nay sayers!!!! You can change! You will do it!!!! Baby steps or gigantic leaps, does not matter. You do it at your pace. Remember we are right there with you.  |
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Post by homesteph on Jul 24, 2010 0:32:21 GMT -5
Yay for your bravery, your commitment, your self!
Remember, you are not your stuff. Your stuff is separate from you. People seeing your stuff is not people seeing your nakedness. People removing your stuff does not make you become naked. You are not your stuff. You are whole and unique and precious in and of yourself, and no amount of stuff, or lack of stuff, can ever change that.
Stuff is an expression of our selves, but is not our selves. Like words are expressions of ourselves, but are not our selves. We don't have to live with a constant echo of every word we've ever said drowning out the words we want to speak in the present. We don't have to live with every physical expression we've ever made crowding out what we want to express today.
No need to accept judgments from other people about your past expressions. You have the right and the freedom and the ability to change your mind and express something different today. Spoken or tangible.
At the end of the day, whether you clear a single drawer or a whole room, observe your self, count your fingers and toes, you will be whole. Really!
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Post by Starting Again on Jul 24, 2010 0:33:18 GMT -5
Congratulations for taking this big step! The three people will be there to help and will be glad to do so. Let go of your fear of letting them see how much help you need.
I think getting the place clean will be REAL motivation for changing your ways and keeping it clean. You'll just have to take serious advantage of that motivation.
Relax. This is going to be a good thing!
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Post by sparkle on Jul 24, 2010 0:40:16 GMT -5
Please post about your day. I'll be looking to you for support to do this for myself. I'd really like to know about the approaches that were useful and any things to watch out for and avoid.
I am certain that you will survive and be in a more manageable place when it's over.
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Post by success19 on Jul 24, 2010 1:35:01 GMT -5
It is okay to be scared - it means you WANT to change - and you will.
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Post by angelicasmama on Jul 24, 2010 10:25:51 GMT -5
3 people turned into 1 person. I am glad to say it went very well. The guy was so sweet. He even told me his mother is a hoarder. Life is so good and full of so many treasures.
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Post by messymimi on Jul 24, 2010 10:33:12 GMT -5
I'm not sure how I missed this when you first posted.
I'm so glad you let that person in, and it was good.
Now, to show your daughter you can change, it is time to create the habits that will keep your house in better shape. No, you don't have to be perfect. No, your place can look somewhat lived in, that is fine.
The habits you want to develop are things like scooping the boxes daily and getting nasty messes up right away. Taking out the trash -- daily, in small bags if you have to. Teach yourself how much easier it is to clean as you go, so you don't flop down, tired, when faced with a huge mess at the end of something.
You can do this.
messymimi
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Post by CaringFriend on Jul 24, 2010 18:04:43 GMT -5
The "easiest" way I found to make changes was to remember to "Take care of today first!" That means that I have to make a decision about everything that I touch TODAY, from getting up in the morning to going to bed at night. For example....... - Night clothes - hang up or place under pillow
- Bathroom - use and put away: toothbrush, toothpaste, cosmetics, etc.; hang up towel
- Kitchen - put away everything you use as you use it: cereal box, milk, dirty dishes into dishwasher or dishpan.
- Mail - sort: discard junk mail, make a home for bills and put those there immediately. A home is not a pile someplace.
- Newspapers - read, recycle.
- Food prep at home - put things away as you use them (bread, mayo, etc), wash dishes used to prep meal while meal is in oven or cooking.
- Dishes - put hot sudsy water in pots and pans as they are emptied for meal. Place dirtied dishes there immediately after eating; they can soak as meal items are put away. Wash, rinse, air dry, put away before bed.
- Clothes worn today - hang in closet for another day or place in laundry.
If these are all new habits for you, don't burden yourself by trying to change everything at once. Choose one and work at it, then 2 weeks later choose another, etc. While working on each new habit, I would add some "old" items to what I was doing. For example, as I was taking care of "today's" mail, I could also pick up a couple of pieces of old mail and make decisions about those. The same can be done with dirty dishes from the past and clothes that are living on the floor and furniture. Wash "today's" dishes and add in 2 or 3 from the "past". It's only logical that if you prevent new squalor and clutter while eliminating the past clutter piece by piece, eventually there will be none. PLUS.......you will have learned new habits. Good luck to you and it's wonderful that you have such a good friend! |
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Post by gottaproblem on Jul 25, 2010 17:05:45 GMT -5
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