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Post by mommie4life on Aug 5, 2010 10:46:20 GMT -5
Okay, I need you guy's help and ideas. Here's the problem I have no budget and I need to try and find a way to organize things in my home. I have four kids who get into everything. And I mean everything! I have one who is Autistic and two who are borderline and the one who's Autistic gets into everything and just wastes it playing. *sigh* He's smart, though, and can get past child locks and what not. The only way I've found to get anything to last around here is to hide it and then it will last till he finds it. >.<
So, the question is, anyone have any ideas on how to organize with no budget and make it child proof enough that it won't get torn up in two days? Cardboard boxes don't work, they just tear the boxes apart and then I have even more mess around.
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Post by littleengine on Aug 5, 2010 11:10:25 GMT -5
I have four kids too, so I know how it goes. The thing that works best for me is a padlock. Keep a lot of their toys in cabinets, locked up. That way, you can control what goes out. I allow one toy per child at a time, and in order to get a new one out, the old one has to go back in. Since I control the key, it's working pretty well.
Also, rotate their toys every couple of weeks. (Keep the ones they're not using in your room or somewhere else they don't go.)
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Blackswan
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Joined: October 2008
Posts: 6,388
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Post by Blackswan on Aug 5, 2010 11:59:34 GMT -5
Perhaps keeping everything up really high, where they can't reach it? I am trying to help a friend right now that has a daughter with autism, and that is one of the things we did that really helped. Also working on one toy at a time, but that has been a little more difficult to follow.
Some advice I gave her was to try and think like a preschool teacher. They can have twenty kids at once, all doing different things, but at the end of the day it is all cleaned up, pretty much. The way they do it is to have one area for each thing, and require the kids to clean up before they leave those areas. Also each thing in each area is given maximum thought to ensure the least possible chaos results.
A way that teachers help little kids to clean is to put pictures of items where they belong, and they have the kids match up all the pictures.
I understand what you are saying though about the little one that runs around and gets into everything and wastes it, my friend's daughter is the same and it has been causing her a lot of pain and stress lately. The only logical thing to do is to find a way that he can't get into anything. Which means either putting it up high, or locking it up.
I do empathize with what you are going through and I will be reading this thread too, to find out other's advice so that I can share it with my friend.
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Post by moggyfan on Aug 5, 2010 12:06:43 GMT -5
I don't have children, but a friend with two kids who behaved like yours used to lock stuff in the trunk of her car--inconvenient but effective.
Also (and this might not work for you, depending on whether you have an extra room), they kept a lot of stuff in one extra room that was ALWAYS padlocked.
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Post by puppybox on Aug 5, 2010 12:51:13 GMT -5
I don't have kids, so maybe I shouldn't give ideas. but simply having less than the usual amount of stuff would work I think. kids now usually have a lot more toys than they really need. its not cruel -if it just gets destroyed fast anyway it makes no difference. consider it.
as for your stuff- lockable closet. lock your bedroom door. how about wire bicycle locks on kitchen cabinets?
you may be able to get an old trunk for free, or cheap. you can use it like a toybox. I always see them being thown out. I'd take them, as they are usually perfectly clean and good, but I already have 3. ask people if they have one in their attic.or garage or basement. lock it with a padlock. you could probably get padlocks for free- ask your friends. people need them then don you can't, yet never throw them away. Old bicycle locks (wire ones with padlocks) you might be able to get for free too. people have all kinds of stuff in their garages, no harm in asking. put a little sign up on a church bulletin board. "donations of padlocks needed".
this isn't free, but those plastic outdoor storage boxes and mini-sheds- there are many sizes. they could be appropriate looking in kids rooms. and they are padlockable.
extreme measures like locking everything up may be necessary. there's nothing at all wrong with it. if you're not cleaning all the time you can spend more quality time with the kids!
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Aug 5, 2010 15:19:22 GMT -5
Well, I don't have kids, but I DO have 4 dogs, and work in a maximum-security prison!
Here are some of the things I do/are done at work:
Every door/drawer/cupboard has a lock on it. When possible, all the locks use the same key. A "sallyport" is maintained when moving inmates: lock one door before opening another. Inmates are counted several times a day, and searched when moving from one place to another. During count, everything shuts down until the count "clears." All inmates have an ID badge, which they must exchange when checking out tools/sports equipment, etc.
The inmates have a "non-cash incentive program" that rewards both staying out of trouble and doing good things. It's similar to a "gold star chart" for kids, so I won't describe it in detail here. Some of the priveledges they can earn include more yard time, a higher spending limit and wider selection on Canteen (at the highest level, they can purchase a TV, CD player, radio, guitar, etc), a more desirable/rewarding job, more visiting priveledges, etc. In my state, we have mostly fixed-term sentencing, so inmates can't get time off their sentences for good behavior, so this system gives them a reason to behave well. In addition, they have to work; they earn points, which translate into funds for Canteen.
When an inmate misbehaves, they can be fined for monetary damages, lose their job, lose yard time, Canteen, etc, drop an incentive level, lose a more desirable cell, be moved to the disciplinary unit where the accomodations are more spartan, progress into the intensive management unit where they have to "program" to be released back into general population, and/or have new criminal charges filed against them, depending on the type and frequency of their misbehavior.
Tools used by inmates are chained to the table/bench with eyebolts, when possible. All tools are locked away in either a strongbox or locking cupboard, checked out, and counted several times a day. Tool lists, photos, and shadowboards facilitate the counting process. Everything but the chaining to the table applies to tools used by employees, too.
Gotta go to work. Will add more later.
The motto of our emploees's union: "We work, so you can sleep."
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Post by def6 on Aug 5, 2010 20:24:46 GMT -5
Hey M4L,
You have to consider how you want your life to be;If you dream of everything being nice and actually having time to spend and being less stressed out -maybe you need to really be ruthless and cut the toys down to the bare minimum If you are referring to nick- naks; well , if they havent broken everything already you really should put them way in the back of your closet up way high. I think the best thing to do is minimize the stuff.
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Post by eagle on Aug 5, 2010 22:17:47 GMT -5
If you put things up high be prepared for the kids to climb to reach those things. My son and many other very young children have managed to climb quite high to get what they wanted.
So make sure that they cannot pull bookcases or shelving units down upon themselves while climbing. They WILL climb.
And if you use locks, make sure they truly are childproof locks. My baby brother could open locks older kids and adults had difficulty getting open.
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Aug 6, 2010 2:03:58 GMT -5
If you put things up high be prepared for the kids to climb to reach those things. My son and many other very young children have managed to climb quite high to get what they wanted. So make sure that they cannot pull bookcases or shelving units down upon themselves while climbing. They WILL climb. And if you use locks, make sure they truly are childproof locks. My baby brother could open locks older kids and adults had difficulty getting open. I'll bet there are devices intended for earthquake-proofing that can secure bookshelves to the wall studs. |
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Post by mommie4life on Aug 6, 2010 7:20:04 GMT -5
Locks and lockboxes I've already thought of. The locks cost money that I don't have to spend. *sigh* And the lockboxes get torn up too. (Really, don't ask.) I work from 2pm till 11pm most of the time and my husband stays home with the kids. Now, while I love him to death and I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt the kids and does his dangdest the kids are sneaky. And it's not really toys I'm talking about, they sneak food that they think they should have had, they get into the cleaning supplies like dish soap and washing powder, they even get into toothpaste and the like. I've came home before and a whole box of washing powder was all over the laundry room! *sigh*
I would love to be able to say I have a lock on every cabinet. I would have to get the rope locks like you use for bicycles because they're the round knob handles on the kitchen cabinets and bathroom ones. I would love to have some sort of locking cabinet in the bathroom for stuff, too. And in general I'd love to have boxes to put things in that don't get distroyed easy.
I don't have a spare room to lock things up in. We have a three bedroom house with six people in it. Not to mention that I can't lock the closet doors because the key that fit them was one of those flat keys and they all have either been lost or fallen behind the molding from when they were sitting on top of the molding in the doorways.
Putting things up high doesn't work. My kids have been known to get things off of the top of the refrigerator when they want them. As for putting up an add at church, we haven't gone to a church actively in years and I've never felt right asking people that you've never met before if they want to give you something.
I've tried several types of reward systems and unless it's instant reward for every little thing they don't get it. If it's not an instant reward then next thing I know they've torn up the sheets with the stickers on it or something.
I'm sorry, it probably sounds like a long list of complaints here, but I'm just really exhausted of the whole process. I bring things home, they get messed up or destroyed, and then I try to do what I can with what I have which doesn't work. *rubs temples*
I have so much stuff... and it's all mixed together, the broken stuff with the good stuff and I can't seem to go through it because as soon as I start then the next time I go to work it's all mixed up again and an even bigger mess.
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Post by puppybox on Aug 6, 2010 21:12:15 GMT -5
maybe you should just work on accepting that your house is not going to look normal for a number of years.
you have a number of challenges that just aren't easy to fix. you know, from the alcoholics serenity prayer, "God give me the strength to change the things I can, accept the things I cannot change, and wisdom to know the difference"- you have things that may not be changeable at the moment. so don't kill yourself/ make yourself crazy trying.
I wish you strength and energy to keep at it. but give yourself a big break, in terms of expectations.
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Post by moonglow on Aug 10, 2010 22:15:49 GMT -5
oh mommie, I feel so bad for you... I don't have kids either so forgive if I am off base with any suggestions. For boxes - instead of cardboard, use plastic storage tubs or boxes. Sometimes they are on sale and are fairly cheap. If you have locks that you lost the keys for, a locksmith can make new ones. Costs money but it might not hurt to call for an estimate. Look into freecycle.com. Perhaps you can give away some of your unneeded stuff, and in return get bicycle locks, plastic storage containers, and/or keyed door locks. Sorry to say this, but if most of the problem is occurring while you are at work, perhaps you need to have a talk with hubby. He has some accountability for this also. Maybe you can help him with a "plan" for preventing some of the problem behavior. Everybody in one room for the evening. Making "rounds" or "bed checks" (like they do in prison) at intervals. Or share with him some of the strategies that you use to try to keep them out of things. Designate certain areas which are "off limits" for the kids. I hear your frustration and exhaustion. Wish I could offer more. Sending you energy  |
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