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Post by sidestep on Aug 6, 2010 22:19:31 GMT -5
I came across this gem written by CreativeChaos & I believe it bears repeating for it's wisdom & eloquence.
the why and how of it? how do people let their homes and lives get this way and do nothing about it, even when they have the money to? the factor i think of is SHAME. rich or poor, many of us squalorees are ashamed of having people see how we live and what it has come to. also, as one gets used to squalor over time, one learns to put the blinders on, to not "see" it, to deny how bad it really is, with eyes, nose, and with thinking. one learns to step over piles and pretty soon, one learns to walk that way. i can cover shame with willed oblivion and a refusal to see. but when i open my eyes to finally, honestly look, what i feel is shame. and sadness. and a whole lotta stuff i don't want to feel. anger at myself. that's the moment i have a choice. to continue or to begin to change. some people never open their eyes.[/size] |
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Post by cleanchallenged on Aug 6, 2010 23:36:02 GMT -5
I'm glad you posted this, I haven't read it before. I do agree that shame is a huge part of he squalor. I've also felt sad, angry, and hopeless. All of the feelings that come along with the squalor have been negative. And when you do start to clean, you feel proud, happy, hopefull. All of those can be felt with the first few bags of trash taken out.
I can really appreciate what CreativeChaos wrote, it definatley sums up the horrible feelings that come along with the mess.
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Post by bigtimetroubles on Aug 7, 2010 11:06:33 GMT -5
I too very much felt shame...I would not want my mother to see the way I lived...it happened years before too...I had a place before that had to be moved out by my Dad and brother in law because I was in hospital and they moved my junk out...it was totally nasty I am sure....I just remember being shamed by the way I was living....that apt. was $100 a month....and I had done it wrong....
hugs btt
this new place is new start and my hope is to get it to maintenance and keep it there where I can have people/dates walk in and not be ashamed of how I live....I know others are able to have clean homes so why am I feeling unable or showing signs of being unable to have a clean home?
btt
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