|
Post by Meme on Aug 21, 2010 23:52:39 GMT -5
One of the hardest thing for a parent of an adult child is to stop parenting--- we tend to think of our kids as kids even when they are well past the age of 18 and we as children over that age also have a hard time to not be children when it comes to our parents-- we want it both ways --- we want their help our way and they want to help their way- I would just let it go until you move and then show them you are grown up enough to just be loved and that you can do ''it'' on your own-- I had a hard time becoming an empty nester but I realized that all I had to do was let them know how proud of them I am and only give advice if they ask and then let them know it is ok for them to not follow it--- being a parent never really goes away and being a child does't either--- hugs and blessings on your move forward--
|
|
|
Post by lizzie on Aug 22, 2010 5:24:14 GMT -5
I was given a pile of cassettes and CDs that were NOT to my taste, I took them to work and put them in the lunch room with a sign that said Free Music and they went very quickly - co-workers love a freebie! Maybe the tiffin tin could find a new home like that.
Depending on the size of the stick I would rub it with some catnip and put it on the balcony for the cat to smooch and maybe claw! And then if the cat didn't care for it - I would leave it at the base of a nearby tree.... a passerby will be pleased to find it
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Aug 22, 2010 9:54:05 GMT -5
I live so far away from my parents, and they have various reasons why they don't travel -- so the last time my Mom was in our home was 1991 (this home) and the last time Dad was in our home was 1986 (different home). But still, I can relate to your struggles with parental input, gifts etc. I like what Mimi said - it's very helpful. For a long time now, I've known that it hurts my Mom's feelings if I try and decline something she wants to give me. But at the same time it's healthy for me to keep only what I love and use. Little by little I came to the point where I keep only what I love and I guess it's easier for me since no one in my family sees what I have. I am as honest as I can be upfront but if she still sends me something I don't want to keep, I find a new home for it, sell it or give it away. And I know for a fact Mom does the same thing with stuff I give her because I do see her home every other year or so when I fly home. I think we get the clutter and hoarding going worse when we have a lot of emotional upset -- so I try and go with the flow whenever possible .... at least in the moment. Then I deal with stuff later. It's a lot like well meaning people giving someone on a diet donuts or offering sweets at a party. We have to learn to either decline or dump the stuff -- because the long range goal of becoming organized and healed from the clutter or excess weight outweighs someones feelings who apparently isn't listening to us when we say "no thank you". Another thing I have noticed is that a lot of people have problems with clutter and weight = and often times they are the very people who are sort of becoming enablers or pushing stuff or food on us. They just don't realize the extent of their own issues maybe. Good luck!!!!
|
|